Comedy Double

Today’s comedy double is all about Holland and the Dutch – it’s about time I did my tiny bit towards cross-cultural understanding confusion ah fuck it muddling along as usual, and as I’m often asked, “what’s life actually like in Holland?”, here it is – life in Holland, via the magic of comedy.

This clip from cable ‘yoof’ channel BNN shows the sorts of things we see in the streets every day:

If you watched that and you’re still going “wtf?”, here, from Amsterdam’s very own US expat comedy theatre Boom Chicago is a quick primer on the difference between European and American senses of humour:

Anyone whose ever been to NL will give a shudder at the mention of Dutch supermarkets. Let’s face it, they’re just weird. The Albert Hein chain of stores, for instance, combines all the glamour of Kwiksave with the aspirations to gentility of Waitrose, but with a complete and utter bonkersness that’s all its own. Recently all the Dutch AH customers went mad for the Wuppie, a little furry doodad given away free with groceries. The key word here is ‘free’ – the Dutch bow to no-one in their ability to grab anything free that’s going, no matter how useless or ugly it might be. “But it’s free! ”

This is how excited the Dutch can get over a cheap supermarket giveaway:

It’s not just me thinks Dutch supermarkets are weird – here’s a vintage clip (you can tell it’s vintage cause he mentions guilders) of British comic John Fearley attempting to explain Albert Hein, in English, to the Dutch:

You see what I have to put up with? As much as I loathe Tesco’s attempts at world domination, every day I cross my fingers and wish for a local, wuppie-free and most of all reliable Tesco. Or even a Somerfield. Whatever, just somewhere where the assistants don’t alternately scowl and snarl at you and the veg don’t rot the minute you get them home and there’s milk and bread after lunchtime… and they open after 6.

But leaving Dutch supermarkets aside, because it makes me depressed, no visit to NL or Amsterdam would be complete without the obligatory nod to history.

We’re surrounded by history and people gawping at history and this time of year it gets particularly difficult. If only we could make historical tourism more user friendly….

So it’s back to Boom Chicago (who have) for the first bonus clip and -Anne Frank is Lonely Girl 1944:

Ooh, that’s mean, and very, very Dutch. Boom Chicago may be expats, but like me they’re being assimilated despite themselves.