If not the week, if not the decade so far…
Dwarf Superglues Todger To Hoover
‘The most embarrassing moment of my life’
By Lester Haines
Published Monday 20th August 2007 11:59 GMTStaff at the Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh battled for an hour to disconnect the penis of Captain Dan The Demon Dwarf from a hoover after the diminutive Fringe performer inadvertantly superglued it to the vacuum cleaner’s “attachment”.
According to the Evening Standard, the hoover forms part of Captain Dan’s Circus Of Horrors act, in which he inexplicably pulls the device across the stage with his todger. On this occasion, however, “the attachment came loose before a performance so he tried to glue it back on”.
The 42-year-old misread the superglue instructions and, having allowed the adhesive a mere 20 seconds to dry rather than the required 20 minutes, duly found himself semi-permanently docked after attempting a premature test.
Of his hospital ordeal, a shaken Captain Dan recounted: “It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. When I got wheeled into a packed A&E on a wheelchair with a hoover attached to my willie, I just wished the ground could swallow me up.” ®
I don’t have a willy, but even I’m wincing.
Zachary Drake
September 5, 2007 at 1:06 amPublic Service Announcement from Internal Monologue: Acetone, the base ingredient in common nail polish remover, is a solvent for super glue. I bet Captain Dan wishes he knew that. He could have saved himself a great deal of embarrassment. Now that you know it, I hope you are able to use this knowledge to save yourself or a loved one similar humiliation.
Palau
September 5, 2007 at 7:17 amI did actually know that – it’s also very good at taking sticker glue of glass and completely removing the polish of your dining room table.
It wasn’t me, mum, really it wasn’t.