Five years on

Reading this almost destroyed me this morning:

That night, the group, which gathered to plan our wedding, gathered to plan his funeral. Bishop Gene, who had officiated at our wedding, would preside. Those who had stood at his bedside with me would eulogize him. The family of relatives and friends would join together again to mourn his passing.

This Monday I “celebrated” my fifth wedding anniversary, of which technically I’ve been a widower four years. So much of what Sarah McBride talks about here reminds me of how my own wedding went: the anxiety, the juxtaposition of the medical and the sentimental, the relief of being married even though I shouldn’t matter. Logically there shouldn’t be that much of a difference between being married and in a long term partnership — even legally it matters little in the Netherlands — but emotionally, to have made that commitment clear and official did matter. It’s good to see that I’m not the only one who feels that way.

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