Sail with Bill
World of Crap has the details of an unbeatable offer: sail away into the sunset with Bill O’Reilly:
Yes, sail with Bill, and for a mimimum of $1099 per person, learn how to combat the ACLU. (Whining is the main way. Lying is good too. Shouting and bullying are essential.)
And for just $250 more, you can have cocktails with Bill. He’ll start by getting a couple of glasses of wine into you — as quickly as he can, he will get ’em into you… maybe intravenously. Who knows what will happen next, because this is a Caribbean cruise, after all, and once people get into that hot weather they shed their inhibitions. You know, they drink during the day, they lay there and laze, they have dinner, and they come back and fool around — that’s basically the modus operandi.
Then maybe you would start to perform fellatio on Bill’s big cock, but you wouldn’t complete the act, because you’re a big tease. Then comes the shower and the falafel!
This adventure with Bill is tax deductible to the fullest extent of the law.
WAAGH.