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Let’s make fun of “deadeye Dick”

“I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, ‘Anyone else want to call domestic wiretapping illegal?'” –Jay Leno

“You can’t blame [Cheney]. Bush says you can spy on people without warrants, you can torture people, you can hold people without a trial, so Dick Cheney thinks, ‘Oh what the hell, I can shoot a few guys.'” –Jay Leno

“I’m surprised Dick Cheney loves to hunt so much. The five times the government tried to give him a gun, he got a deferment.” –Jay Leno

“It turns out now that Dick Cheney did not have a license to hunt, and coincidentally, turns out we didn’t have a license to go into Iraq.” –David Letterman

“Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It’s Dick Cheney.” –David Letterman

“But here is the sad part — before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy’s request for body armor.” –David Letterman

“We can’t get bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney.” –David Letterman

“Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. … But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. … moms, dads, if you’re watching right now, I can’t emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don’t care what kind of lucrative contracts they’re trying to land, or energy regulations they’re trying to get lifted – it’s just not worth it.” –Jon Stewart

“The Vice President is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. Now, according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78- year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Wittington’s face.” –“Daily Show” correspondent Rob Corddry

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