This is the most disgusting recipe I’ve read in a very long time, worse even than that vile, vile wingnut pizza monstrosity Sadly, No featured a while ago.
From Norwegianity:
I sooooo have to serve these prize-winning tidbits at Chez Observer’s next cocktail party:
SPAM Taco wontons
Makes 36 to 48 wontons.
From Lynda Decker, winner of the Great American SPAM Championship.• 1 (6-oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 c. sour cream
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 2 tbsp. sweet Vandalia onion, minced
• 2 tbsp. taco seasoning
• 1 (12-oz.) can SPAM with real Hormel Bacon, diced
• 1/2 c. Monterey Jack cheese, shredded
• 2 tbsp. Parmesan cheese, shredded
• 1 (16-oz.) pkg. wonton wrappersDirections
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Combine all ingredients but wonton wrappers in a medium mixing bowl. Separate wonton wrappers and arrange one in each cup of a mini muffin tin. Scoop one tablespoon of SPAM mixture into formed cups. Dip fingers in water and run wet fingers along the edges of the wonton. Pinch sides together and twist top to form a sealed package. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until golden brown. Cool 10 minutes and serve as an appetizer.Yummo! (Although it’s not entirely clear if the recipe won the prize or was developed by someone who won the prize in the past and is simply coasting on past glory in the Spam contest universe.)
I’ve always wondered about these back of the packet recipe contests – does anyone actually ever make the recipes, or is it just a paper exercise for both contestants and judges? I do hope so: I’ become quite nauseous when I imagine what hellish concoctions must’ve been discarded before Ms. Decker hit on the final version of that recipe.
I onder if Ms. decker is Lutheran? It’s been said that the worst recipes of all come from the Lutherans:
While the Catholic Church seeks to expand the size of its flock through unrestrained population growth, the Lutherans have chosen the strategy of expanding the size of individual churchgoers. Why put in one sort of cheese, when you could put in four? That seems to be the theory. This in addition to a block of butter and a good spray of Cheese Whiz.
Here, for example, is a recipe submitted by Edra Uecker of the Bigfork Lutheran Church in Bigfork, Minnesota, in which a quarter pound of Velveeta cheese is layered over a whole chicken, with “grated American cheese topping” then layered on top of the Velveeta. Cheese on cheese. They don’t call it Bigfork for nothing.
The same recipe, just in case you’re considering it for tonight’s dinner, also requires one can of cream of mushroom soup, one can of cream of celery soup, and one can of cream of chicken soup. Plus some milk and what is described as “1 small onion”.
That’ll be the vegetable course, then.
But even Lutherans, however devout or midwestern, would be hard-pressed to beat some of the sheer digustingnesses that the food companies come up with themselves. (Quick note: Braunschweiger is a type of spreadable liverwurst. Made of liver. Mostly.) This abomination comes from Kraft’s very own website, via Mrs Gypsy:
Braunschweiger Bagel Topper
4 oz. (1/2 of 8-oz. pkg.) OSCAR MAYER Braunschweiger
1/4 cup MIRACLE WHIP Dressing
1/4 cup TACO BELL HOME ORIGINALS Thick ‘N Chunky Salsa
1 tsp. GREY POUPON Dijon Mustard
3 cinnamon-raisin bagels (3 inch), halved, toasted
2 medium Gala apples, slicedMIX braunschweiger, dressing, salsa and mustard until well blended.
SPREAD bagel halves evenly with the braunschweiger mixture.
TOP with the apple slices.
“…until well-blended”. Um.
Close your eyes. and just imagine, if you will, what that might look like. I’m seeing vomit, I’m seeing flecks of liver, I’m seeing little bits of carrots in a pinkish sludge…
Dinner’s ready!
