The carrot doesn’t work. Try the stick.

Justin has an idea for what Gordon Brown could do to really rally the markets since bribing stock brokers with sweets hasn’t worked:

If the FTSE share index is not up by 200 points at 1pm, he will promise, five upmarket cars will be chosen at random from underground car parks in the City and fed into the mobile car crushers. At the same time, the artillery teams will reduce five randomly chosen houses in the broker belt to rubble.