It happened to me!

Well, no, it didn’t, but a couple of weeks ago one Jen Caron got a little bit flustered when a black woman joined her yoga class:

I was completely unable to focus on my practice, instead feeling hyper-aware of my high-waisted bike shorts, my tastefully tacky sports bra, my well-versedness in these poses that I have been in hundreds of times. My skinny white girl body. Surely this woman was noticing all of these things and judging me for them, stereotyping me, resenting me—or so I imagined.

It all seemed a bit over the top and somewhat patronising, though if you’re feeling charitable, you could say it was one woman’s inept attempt to articulate some of the racial privileges she hadn’t had to think about until well, she was confronted with an black woman in her class. Which, come to think of it, doesn’t make it any better, making this woman a prop in her enlightenment.

Anyway, the piece got a lot of pushback and sarky comments online and what struck me was reading the same story from the other side, revealing that this may have been an unique experience for Caron, not so much for actual plus size women:

I mean, it would be racist weird to say “OMG! You’re so big and black!” so instead she says “OMG! I’m so white and small”

As a plus size woman of color, people are constantly “telling on themselves” in regards to how they see me. It could be as simple as calling me “girl” instead of my name or being shocked when I sing along to Incubus songs, it could be something as nuanced as mentioning their own appearance in contrast to mine, or as awkward as quoting Tyler Perry to me and assuming I’ll get the reference (I won’t).