Not A Good week for Doughy Pantload
Are they by chance related? I think we should be told
Dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Lucianne ‘Fat Slag‘ Goldberg’s boy Jonah, not content with being the ugly fat face of nepotism, has to go and draw attention to his crass stupidity, yet again. Like we need reminding.
It beggars belief that this overpromoted moron has an op-ed column in the LA Times. (“Thank you Mummy!”) Oy, If only HL Mencken were still alive. However, the blogosphere is doing its best to make up for the lack – Jaquandor at Byzantium Shores:
“Oh, man. I don’t often run into Jonah Goldberg’s blatherings, because whenever I do, they are invariably stupid. But this is abnormally stupid. We’re talking, dropping-jaws stupid, stupid that makes you literally gasp aloud “Huh-whuh?”, stupid that makes you marvel at the idea that the human brain can even entertain the train of thought in question. He’s talking about the Titanic, and specifically, objects that might better have been used for flotation:
Rather than deck chairs, I thought all of those lovely sideboards filled with fine china would work very well, particularly if you filled them up with life jackets and lashed them to each other. It would be a pain getting them up on the deck, but fear of death and ample time would have made it quite doable. Also, going into the kitchen and smearing-up your body with lard might be a good idea too. Those English Channel swimmers do that. Still, the wisest course of action would have been to either A) not hit an iceberg or B) not build a ship that was guaranteed to sink if it did (please: emails on the superior craftsmanship of the Titanic should be kept to a minimum).
Wow. Just…wow.
This all follows some kind of “conversation” between Goldberg and John Derbyshire in which the general subtext is, “Stupid Titanic victims — they were on a ship with all that wood around, and we all know that wood floats, so why didn’t they just huck as much wood as possible into the water and cling to it until the Carpathia arrived?” The number of ways in which this is all unbelievably stupid are too many to number, but let’s give it a shot anyway […]
Full disclosure -I occsionally post after having partaken of leafy substances, but even if I’d drunk a whole case of vodka alcopops and smoked a teenth of hash, I still couldn’t come up with anything as sophomoric and utterly, utterly dumb as a bag of hammers as that.
I think the Poor Man probably had the best take on Jonah, in this disquisition on the word ‘wanker’ (why are US bloggers nicking all our best slang expressions? Lack of imagination?) –
Jonah Goldberg, for example, is the Platonic ideal of a wanker. Wouldn’t it be nice if, after his latest inanity, people would just say “well, that wanker Goldberg has dribbled out another shitty column”? And then someone else would understand the correctness of this and pass it along, and so on and so on, until eventually someone runs into him on the street and goes “hey, you’re that fucking wanker!” It probably will take more than this to dispel him completely, for The Wank is strong in that one, but, patient application of the word “wanker” will diminish him, bit by bit, for such are the laws of Heaven. And then, one day, he will be gone.
We can but try. One day the number one Google entry for wanker will be ‘Jonah Goldberg’ if we stick together. Unity is strength…
