Grand Theft Bearo

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Hand over the keys, motherfucker!

I’ve always thought that if any other large mammal were likely to evolve into thinking beings, it’d be bears.Ananova:

Bear steals car

Police in New Jersey say a black bear is suspected of stealing a people carrier and taking it for a spin.

Officer Dave Dehard found the vehicle by the side of the road near Vernon Township, reports Court TV.

The passenger window had been broken and the door panels were damaged.

Police spokesman Det Sean Talt said: “He determined it was a bear because of all the bear hair inside.

Oy, the wonders of modern forensics…

“Apparently, the bear had also accidentally released the emergency brake and allowed the vehicle to roll away 40 or 50 feet away from the owner’s house.”

Police say the bear was probably attracted by sweets left inside the car.

“We’ve had animals break into houses,” Det Talt said. “But this is the first time we’ve ever had an animal take the car like that.”

Ah, but that’s not quite true is it, Detective?

Published by Palau

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, washed the t-shirt 23 times, threw the t-shirt in the ragbag, now I'm polishing furniture with it.

2 Comments

  • Martin Wisse

    November 12, 2007 at 10:30 am

    You may want to read the great science fiction short story “Bears discover Fire”, by Terry Bisson, which features intelligent bears.

  • Palau

    November 12, 2007 at 1:43 pm

    If bears discovered fire the first we’d do is sell them cigarettes…