Palau

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, washed the t-shirt 23 times, threw the t-shirt in the ragbag, now I'm polishing furniture with it.

A People’s Recession

I am so very tempted to wallow in schadenfreude over banking job losses in the City and New York: it’s about time the bloated parasites amongst us had a dose of the real economy most of us live in.

Hurrah, hurrah and let’s dance on the corpse of capitalism!!

No – although there’ll be a limited number of brash loadsamoneys and well-connected double-barrelled investment analysts to laugh at down the DSS (and, I fervently hope, a fair few personal fortunes wiped out) the people who did this won’t really suffer.

Unless they’re really stupidly overextended, they’ll have a cushion. All they’ll need to do is cash up what they can, buy a nice little forecliosed cottage in Cornwall or Vermont (with organic smallholding, naturally) and ride out the financial and social storm. They can finally write that novel, you know?

As always it’s the small fry who suffer, from call-centrre operators and cleaners to copier technicians and security guards to the external consultants to the sysadmins to trainee lawyers at corporate firms to the florist who comes to do the orchids in the boardroom.

This is the harsh financial reality British banking economy workers will face when their redundancy money – such as it is, Labour never changed those stingy Thatcherite rules on workers’ rights – runs out and they find it necessary to sign up for benefits:

Contribution-based Jobseeker’s Allowance
Person aged 16-17: £47.95
Person aged 18-24: £47.95
Person aged 25 or over: £60.50
Income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance

Personal allowances – single people Rate
Person aged 16-17: £47.95
Person aged 18-24: £47.95
Person aged 25 or over: £60.50

Personal allowances – couple Rate
Both aged 16-17: £47.95
Both aged 16/17, one disabled: £47.95
Both aged 16/17, with responsibility for a child: £72.35
One aged 16/17, one aged 18-24: £47.95
One aged 16/17, one aged over 25: £60.50
Both aged 18 or over: £94.95

Lone parents Rate
Aged 16-17: £47.95
or depending on their circumstances: £47.95
Aged 18 or over: £60.50

Dependent children Rate
Payable from birth up to the day before their 20th birthday: £52.59

There’s housing benefit too, but only if you’re renting – and if you’re single and under 25 and don’t have children, then it’s paid only at the local market rate for a single room; that docklands bachelor pad’ll have to go.

If you have a mortgage, prepare to lose your house. If you’re over 45 and wondering how long it’ll take to get a new job, ask a former miner. Say goodbye to your tenuous grip on the middle-class, welcome to the underclass. Goodbye cosy Metroland, hello Morlockia.

I think the Daily Mail and its readership may be changing their tune on benefit scroungers in the very near future.

Comment Of The Day

There’s not much to smile about in the papers this morning except David Hockney in The Grauniad’s letters page, who deserves a special prize for cleverly piggybacking his pet cause onto a crisis :

Could it be that the smoke-free rooms of New York bankers are not working as well as the old ones. Smoking a cigar or pipe makes me ponder, whereas the replacements can make prudence go out of the window. Just a thought.

David Hockney
London

As any smoker knows the real business of meetings is done outside in the rain while sharing a convivial fag. He has a point there.

See, There’s Your Problem Right There

Reuters, Aug 30 2008:

NEW YORK, Aug 30 (Reuters) – Lehman Brothers has hired Jeb Bush, brother of the President of the United States, as an advisor to its private equity business, a source familiar with the situation said.

Lehman hired another relative of U.S. President George W. Bush last year–George Walker, a second cousin, who heads up the bank’s asset management business.

Everything they touch turns to shit… I wonder if any spawn of Poppy’s loins is working at tottering debt reinsurers AIG?

None that I know of, but as usual the Bushes are right up to their necks in it. I wonder if anyone will ask them about Swiss Re?

Temporary News Antidote

What a day.

Nothing soothes the frazzled pysche or wallet like kittens but with the news as it is the kittens’ll have to be tuned up to maximum cuteness. I’m up to the challenge and so is YouTube… take this, could this get any cuter? Look, it’s Puss In Boots!

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Awwww. Still not cute enough to get inflation and/or redundancy off your mind, at least temporarily? Maybe munchkin kittens will do the trick:

Still having thoughts of market chaos, systems unraveling and the economy going belly up? Time to break out the ferrets *and* the kitten *and* the paper bag….

Urgh. I just heard the market news. There’s only one thing for it. I have to go ballistic. I’ve been saving this up for exactly such on occasion. Ladies and germs, I give you the one, the only, ferret in a bunny hat:

If that doesn’t divert, even momentarily, then we really are all fucked.

Bonus clip:

Ninja kitten, going viral all over the place.