Comment Of The Day

Is this comment by Zeno to a post at Pharyngula: without it I never would’ve come across this hilarious monstrosity of a comic:

Liberality for All: Can G .Gordon Liddy, Oliver North and Sean Hannity Save America From An Orwellian Nightmare of Ultra-Leftist Oppression?”

Synopsis:

[…]

In 2004, Muslim terrorists stopped viewing the weakened American government as a threat; instead they set their sights on their true enemies, vocal American conservatives. On one dark day, in 2006, many conservative voices were forever silenced by terrorist assassins. Those which survived joined forces and formed a powerful covert conservative organization called “The Freedom of Information League”, aka F.O.I.L.

Now see, if only they’d used a little imagination they could’ve called it The Incorporated National Freedom of Information League. It could’ve been the much snappier and superhero-ish T.I.N.F.O.I.L. Oh, well. Their loss.

The F.O.I.L. Organization is forced underground by the “Coulter Laws” of 2007; these hate speech legislations have made right-wing talk shows, and conservative-slanted media, illegal. Our weakened government has willingly handed the reins of our once great country to the corrupt United Nations. The Department of Political-Correctness is required to assist U.N. monitors to properly edit all print and broadcast media. Live broadcasts are a thing of the past; all transmissions are monitored by the U.N. and any ‘offensive’ material is dumped.

Rupert Murdoch’s decision to defy the “Coulter Laws” hate speech legislations, has bankrupted News Corporation. George Soros has bought all of News Corps assets and changed its name to Liberty International Broadcasting. LIB’s networks have flourished and circle the globe with a series of satellites beaming liberal & U.N. propaganda worldwide.

Sigh. If only.

The New York City faction of F.O.I.L. is lead by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North, each uniquely endowed with special abilities devised by a bio mechanical engineer affectionately nicknamed “Oscar”.

I can’t imagine what special powers these three could have. Actually I lie. I can – Hannity: supersonic farting, North: the ability to shred documents with his mind, and Liddy, what else but a star-spangled super-crotch?

F.O.I.L. is soon to be joined by a young man named Reagan McGee.

Our hero’s called Reagan? What a coinkydink!

Reagan was born on September 11th, 2001. He is the son of a NYC firefighter whose life was spared by attending his son’s birth. Reagan has grown to manhood in an ultra-liberal educational system: being told, not asked, what to think. With personal determination, which alienates him from his contemporaries, he has chosen the path less traveled…the path to the Right.

Born on 9/11. Oh, the symbolism, it just gets you here, doesn’t it?

F.O.I.L. has become aware of Bin Laden’s plot to destroy NYC and has devised a plan to stop him while simultaneously gaining permanent control of LIB’s satellite network. Unfortunately, U.N. Forces have discovered the secret location of the F.O.I.L. Lair. It is a race against the clock to save NYC from a nuclear holocaust and the world from liberal domination. Only with F.O.I.L.’s help, can “Liberality For All” once again become “Liberty For All!”

Now I know that this is a mini series, so I’m looking forward to the edition in which we meet the lurve interest. Will she be a thinly disguised Monica Goodling, or Debbie Schlussel, or will our hero, being as he is, brought up ‘liberal’, have a doomed passion for an ersatz Althouse? And will she look like this?

UPDATE: Martin posted about this last year. I really should read my own blog now and then.

“It’s Not Radioactive, It’s Not Even Green, But We’re Working On It”

That was what the Rio Tinto spokesperson said on the radio just now about their discovery of naturally-occurring kryptonite:

[…]

A new mineral matching kryptonite’s unique chemistry has been identified. It will be formally named Jadarite later this year.

A new mineral matching kryptonite’s unique chemistry, as described in the film Superman Returns, has been identified by scientists at the Natural History Museum and Canada’s National Research Council.

The large green crystals of kryptonite have a devasting affect on the superhero. However, unlike its famous counterpart, the new mineral is white, powdery and not radioactive. And, rather than coming from outer space, the real kryptonite was found in Serbia.

Geologists and mineralogists from mining group Rio Tinto discovered the unusual mineral. It didn’t match anything known previously to science so they sort the help of mineral expert Dr Chris Stanley at the Natural History Museum.

‘Towards the end of my research,’ says Dr Stanley, ‘I searched the web using the mineral’s chemical formula, sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide , and was amazed to discover that same scientific name written on a case of rock containing kryptonite stolen by Lex Luther from a museum in the film Superman Returns’.

[…]