Kindergarten Critics

Star Wars IV, as related by a 3 year old:

“..and never, ever talk back to Darth Vader…” That little girl has a golden Hollywood future pitching action movie screenplays.

But putting on my Mum hat, I have to wonder whether any Star Wars movie, even (or maybe especially) the one featuring that creepily servile Jar Jar creature, is really suitable for 3 year olds no matter how precocious they are.

Rafael Behr, Whiny-Ass Titty Baby

Rafael Behr is yet another well-connected writer for the Guardian. He has a regular writing gig there, having previously been online editor, and also writes a personal typepad blog.

His employer, The Guardian, is having a spot of bother right now related to the nepotism around Max Gogarty’s travel blog (see below). and Rafael decided to insert himself, whether prompted or unprompted I don’t know, into the furore by attacking commenters to the orginal blogpost as a baying mob, as bad as or worse than during the Chinese Cultural Revolution.

Yes, really, and yes, he’s a professional, paid writer.

But he also admits to trolling Guardian commenters with his personal post defending Gogarty: but he now says didn’t really mean it, that it was just a convenient topic to hang a saleable article on – how cynical is that – then he goes on to apologise for offending anyone . And shuts down comments.

Whiny ass titty baby.

This is the comment I would have posted at his blog had Rafo, as he apparently likes to be known, not been such a whiny-ass titty baby as to be too scared to take feedback.

Dear Rafael: what you seem to be saying is that you deliberately jumped into an inflamed situation to pour fuel on the flames – not because you were at all engaged with the discussion, but because you wanted to make a point and cleverly earn a fee while doing it.

I’ve read every one of the nearing a thousand CIF comments and they’re not at all as you describe; I’ve seen a lot of hilariously witty bitchery but very little actual abuse, certainly nothing to compare with what any other young Harry or Josh might hear from their mates in the pub.

Your CIF post was a deliberate misrepresentation of what was being said (something you aknowledge in this post) and made matters worse.

Now I’ve only been blogging and commenting five years or so; I’m not a real writer, unlike you or young Max, but where I come from that’s called trolling and it’s very bad manners, doubly so from someone who professes to love him some blogging.

What was actually being discussed boils down to:

  • The shoddy and nepotistic hiring practices of a self-described ethical and fair newspaper and its staff’s overcosy relationship with PR agents.
  • The overall decline of the quality of the papers’ opinion pieces and blogs and CIF writing generally, which is seemingly now narrowcast to a well-off coterie of metropolitans who happen to know someone who knows someone.
  • The utter hypocrisy of providing an online comment facility and then squealing like an outraged maiden aunt when people actually comment.
  • The stupidity of compounding all the above errors by attacking readers in the paper and on television.

What I think you and the current editorial staff and writers at the Guardian/Observer (they’re pretty much the same in the public eye; the Observer is the Sunday edition of The Guardian) fail to get is the visceral connection some readers have with the paper, or the sense of betrayal we feel at the blatant exposure of its inner workings.

We love The Guardian – or rather we did. It was our parents’ and grandparents’ newspaper; it stood for truth and social justice and all that is now quaint and outmoded. At least that’s what we were told then, although mature reflection and a little reading shows that was never entirely true. Still, it was a a noble aim even if it fell woefully short of its target at times.

But now? Now the Scott Trust and it’s editorial staff aren’t even trying. Truth, liberty and social justice may be still occasionally be paid lip service to in its columns, but they’re certainly not in it’s practice.

Both papers have degenerated in my lifetime into little more than self-referential lifestyle mags, padded with puff pieces penned by PR agents or trite text extolling the joys of the latest lifestyle fad or fashionable paranoia or designer bag, lifted straight from a press release and all of it gilded with lucury brand ads and a few pensees from the friends and family of London’s politicoliterati. (I exaggerate for effect, but not by much.)

But hey, it’s a globalised, media-savvy world and everyone understands how journalism actually works, nod nod, wink wink. We all get it, don’t we?

Well actually, no we don’t and we’re sick of it.

It appears to me to be this blithe acceptance of New Labour’s relaxed attitude to wealth, privilege and the status quo that has rankled so many; that and both papers’ continued promotion of well-off, well-connected nobodies who aspire to tell us feckless, idle proles what to think, as though being born bourgeois is the new divine right of kings.

This in a week which has not only seen several political nepotism scandals but also the publication of Nick Davies’ expose of the inherent corruption of British journalism.

Readers were already angry at the media: dear, sweet, young, disingenuous Max’ execrable blogpost was merely the spark to some bone-dry tinder.

Because the Guardian and Observer have been the only online newspapers in which some of us jaded cynics have retained a modicum of trust (despite Aaronovitch’s war-cheerleading, Polly Toynbee’s nosepeg and Jackie Ashley’s increasingly painful moral contortions in support of Labour) we’ve even stayed loyal when Labour ministers have been given column inches to publish ghostwritten lies and egregious spin.

But try complaining about the poor quality and shoddy commissioning of a trivial travel article – for this we stupidly loyal readers are accused of being a baying mob of jealous wannabes. Silly us for thinking a comment facility meant that some honest feedback was wanted or needed : as with New Labour government, comment and consulation is for show only. The Guardian/Observer, being as it is effectively an adjunct to and labour exchange for the government, has become in the last decade as thoroughly corrupted as every other British institution.

Max’ original blog is almost irrelevant now, except as a the spark that ignited a small blaze of public comment: though I suppose it has also had the useful side-effect of labelling skinny jeans as irredeemably naff, so it wasn’t a complete waste of time.

A couple of years ago The Washington Post had its own issues with commenters pointing out its hypocrisy and the readers editor, Deborah Howell, handled it about as badly as it could possibly be handled, thus damaging the paper’s remaining reputation still further.

The Guardian seems to have learned nothing from that: perhaps it could use Howell at the next awayday as a case study of what not to do? Similarly they could also use your CIF post as a warning –

  • Don’t treat your CIF readers like idiots, because they’re mostly not.
  • Don’t troll in one forum and then admit it on your own personal blog – it just makes you look like a hypocrite.

.

Oh That’s Vaguely Interesting

Ever wondered how IKEA make up those odd product names? They don’t. They’re real names:

IKEA products are identified by single word names. Most of the names are Swedish in origin. Although there are some notable exceptions, most product names are based on a special naming system developed by IKEA.

Upholstered furniture, coffee tables, rattan furniture, bookshelves, media storage, doorknobs: Swedish placenames (for example: Klippan)
Beds, wardrobes, hall furniture: Norwegian place names
Dining tables and chairs: Finnish place names
Bookcase ranges: Occupations
Bathroom articles: Scandinavian lakes, rivers and bays
Kitchens: grammatical terms, sometimes also other names
Chairs, desks: men’s names
Materials, curtains: women’s names
Garden furniture: Swedish islands
Carpets: Danish place names
Lighting: terms from music, chemistry, meteorology, measures, weights, seasons, months, days, boats, nautical terms
Bedlinen, bed covers, pillows/cushions: flowers, plants, precious stones; words related to sleep, comfort, and cuddling
Children’s items: mammals, birds, adjectives
Curtain accessories: mathematical and geometrical terms
Kitchen utensils: foreign words, spices, herbs, fish, mushrooms, fruits or berries, functional descriptions
Boxes, wall decoration, pictures and frames, clocks: colloquial expressions, also Swedish placenames

For example, DUKTIG (meaning: good, well-behaved) is a line of children’s toys, OSLO is a name of a bed, JERKER (a Swedish masculine name) is a popular desk, DINERA (meaning: dine) for tableware, KASSETT (meaning: cassette) for media storage. One range of office furniture is named EFFEKTIV (meaning: efficient), SKÄRPT (meaning: sharp or clever) is a line of kitchen knives.

Wikipedia – last refuge of the burned-out blogger.

Comments of The Day

Some excellent and informative comments today in response to Simon Jenkins Guardian piece on the British Council’s problems with the Russian authorities .

The first makes exactly the point I was about to -the blatant nepotism of it all – and it’s something the BBC in particular seems to think unworthy of notice:

magnolia

January 18, 2008 9:12 AM

In amongst all this diplomatic palarva, it just struck me that isn’t it nice that that nice Stephen Kinnock is the Head of the British Council in St Petersburg and his dad, that nice Neil Kinnock is actually the Head of the British Council and of course, isn’t it also nice that his dad used to also be the nice Head of the British Labour Party and isn’t particularly it very very nice that he also was once Head of something very very big in the EU and isn’t extremely nice that his nice wife also has a nice job as an MEP in Europe for the nice British Labour Party.

It’s always nice to see an honest to goodness working class family thriving together.

Quite.

What is the British Council all about now, after ten years of New Labour? Is it still the stuffy, elitist, worthy soft diplomatic institution many of us remember? What does it do, now, exactly?

musubi

January 18, 2008 7:57 AM

Surely the British Council got itself into this mess because (as explained already by John JT) it has been trying to have it both ways. I.e. it’s been trying to be an arm of the British diplomatic presence in the rest of the world, spreading British language and culture as PR for Britain, AND it’s been trying to get a commercial return for doing this. This paradox has arisen because of the mania (since Thatcherism) of making everything pay its own way in bits and pieces instead of being funded by those who are supposedly benefiting from it (i.e. the British people). Wouldn’t it be fun if core diplomats, military attaches etc. all had to pay their own way by generating income in the land to which they are sent! But being commercialised, the BC must also be expected to honour the income tax laws in the host country. Isn’t it just that that the Russian authorities have been saying? I’ve seen no precise rational counter-arguments to this since the matter came up some months ago, just pathetic neo-coldwarism and anti-Russianism.

If the BC can’t make enough money while honouring the relevant tax laws then it should file for bankruptcy, like any other business. Or it could/should go back to being a fully funded public institution like it was many years ago, and provide cultural services in the interests of the British stake in international understanding. Or it could be an NPO with grants from various sources including the British government and British businesses which have an interest in promoting British cultural activities in areas where they operate. Which is it to be?

Exactly.

Is the British Council in Russia an unaccountable, profit-making language school and marketing bureau that evades taxes while providing safe and well-remunerated berths for out of work, but well-connected children of superannuated New Labour hacks – or is it a legitimate diplomatic mission?

Seems to me the Russians may have a point – and as much as my first, jingoistic inclination is to point to their Stalinist tactics and demand that Johnny Foreigner be taught a lesson so let’s kick a few Rusiian billionaires out of Kenisngton, it’s a point Uk.gov needs to address.

But although it may well have a case against the British Council, it is as nothing to ours against Russia itself, which brought its internal business to our shores, conspiring and enabling the murder of one Russian agent by another with radioactive poison, thereby puttiing the innocent public at risk – and which then compoundied the offence by harbouring and protecting the murderer, by now an elected politician.

That makes a bit of ambiguity on taxes and a dose of nepotism look like very small potatoes.