Life During Wartime

Oh, my heart bleeds:

Southern California running low on servants

By David Streitfeld

Los Angeles Times

LOS ANGELES — The rich might be getting richer, but their lives are hardly trouble-free. In Southern California, there aren’t enough servants to go around.

Wealthy families need more chefs to prepare meals, more maids and butlers to serve them, more housekeepers to keep mansions tidy, and more nannies and night nurses to tend offspring.

“I just filled nine positions, and I could have filled another nine immediately,” says Christopher Baker, who runs Christopher Baker Staffing in Los Angeles.

“The wealthy are living larger than ever. Forget about second homes. Now you have a third home, a fourth home. And these aren’t little shacks. They need staffs.”

[…]

The burgeoning service industry now has its own glossy magazine, CelebStaff: Managing Mansions and Estates. Its offices are in Beverly Hills.

“For the average Joe, this type of lifestyle is unimaginable,” the CelebStaff editors write, “but those that live it will have it no other way!”

If the average Joe only knew, those in the field say, he could be upgrading his own life by working for the wealthy.

“He could be making $50,000, $60,000, $70,000 a year at a mansion in Bel Air with museum-quality furnishings, rather than cooped up as a $9-an-hour computer programmer in a cubicle in Mid-Wilshire,” says Baker, who started his company in 2004 after a stint as a recruiter for a search firm.

More…

High-schooler wondering what do to in life? Worried that all the good jobs have been outsourced? Get your eyes downcast, your hair combed and your shiny shoes and pinny on. Practice saying ‘Yes, Sir/Madam.” to your betters.

Don’t you know being a minion is a noble calling? You should be proud to be a millionaires’ flunky – they made the coiuntry what it is today. Besides, think of all the money you’d save on school; you know all that book-larnin’ would only make you dissatisfied with your lot in life.

However you look at it, servitude’s the way to go, careerwise. It beats being blown up by a roadside IED.

Comment Of The Day

This may attract flak but I’d be much obliged if anyone could point out where this comment, ffollowing Justin ‘Koolaid’ Webb of the BBC’ on Anti-Americanism in this morning’s Guardian, is factually wrong:

DaveCanuk

April 12, 2007 4:29 AM

I like to think of myself as a proud anti-american, who’s hatred of the role of the U.S. government and business in the world is underpinned by my disgust with the culture that underpins it.

As a Canadian, I get plenty of exposure, not just ot US government policies, but to everyday Americans and the popular culture they love. And it is bad beyond most folks imaginings. Sure there are some decent american citizens. But precious few, even of these, are not bigoted, ignorant, and generally rather frightening.

1) They have a fascination with guns and/or uniforms unequalled in any democracy anywhere, anytime. These folks have some serious issues that need to be addressed in therapy.

2) They worship size and volume beyond all reason. Bigger is always better. Louder is always more correct. I assume the men have some easily understood insecurities in the bedroom, but the bloody women are almost as bad! In addition to all the problems with pollution and invasions that this flaw encourages, it just plain makes them bad neighbours.

3) These folks have a serious god complex. They really believe they have a direct line! And they can’t wait to bore you with the details of their relationship with the BIG GUY. Now we have our religious nuts in Canada too, but only in the US are they the dominant cultural force. It is way beyond satire that they are in bloody battle with ‘Muslim extremists’.

4) The level of ignorance about the world or history is appalling, but even worse is their pride in it. You can have a more informed discussion on world events with a Mexican cab driver than an American high school teacher. George II is really just a more or less polite version of what you can hear in any truck stop, bar or Wal-Mart. This and the most powerful armed forces in the world – if that isn’t a combination to make sleep difficult, I don’t know what is.

5) They are insufferably self-righteous about their greatness -great literature, military prowess, athletic abilities, biggest businesses, finest art, music – the list goes on and on. When discussing any other culture, which few ever do, they will invariably either attack or patronize it.

6) They are steeped in an incredibly mean spirited public discourse. Being stuck in a car for a few hours in the US is a nightmare for a news junky. With a few faint PBS exceptions, the airwaves are a non stop shouting match where slimy insinuations about opponents are quickly drowned out by loud threats and insults. And when what passes for a ‘left’ down there gets a radio station – they do the same thing, except that sometimes I agree with them.

7) The culture is permeated by a racism that is miles beyond what I am used to – and I grew up in a country who’s treatment of aboriginals was criminal and reflected in a racist popular culture.

I could go on all day. But as distant descendent of a Bootle sailer and a highland crofter, I will add that the only culture that I think could compare with the U.S. in recent centuries was the British Empire at its peak. There is just something about being the biggest bully in the school yard that makes people downright dislikable

Take care, eh?

Ah yes, Britain, this emerald jewel in an azure sea, this blighted pox-ridden isle; as always we’re bringing up the rear, trailing past imperialist glories.

But although we’re now much diminished as a nation, we’re still managing to keep up in the ‘planet’s most obnoxious people’ stakes. For example, the first news story I read today was that yesterday in Glasgow an Algerian woman asylum seeker was stoned by a gang of white men, had her hijab ripped off and both herself and her one year old child sexually assaulted – then, on the morning news I heard Tony Blair openly blaming the rise in gun crime entirely on some mythical monolithic black community. We just had our very own Iran hostage media circus too. We may be a busted flush internationally, but hey, no problem. We can just ask to join the USA.

We’ll fit perfectly as the 51st state – we’ve got the undemocratic government, the broken army and government, trigger-happy police, overflowing jails, drugs, corruption and an autocratic vainglorious leader already: now all we need is the OK. Hmm. Whatever would we call it, though?

Attack Of The Mystery Gusset Typist

The Register:

Masturbating woman shakes Michigan Uni frat house
Bushwhacking intruder makes herself right at home
By Lester Haines ? More by this author
Published Monday 2nd April 2007 15:10 GMT

A Michigan University frat house will throw out two couches tainted by a mystery masturbating female intruder who used the furniture for an extended public self-pleasuring session, The Michigan Daily reports.

The woman in question simply walked into Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity house “without permission” last Thursday, “entered the house’s living room, took off her clothes and started masturbating”, according to shaken frat president Dan Nye.

Shocked frat members “asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour”. When pressed as to whether she felt ok, the beaver-petting stranger “casually replied that she was fine” and even made a quick call on her mobile phone while tickling the taco.

Frat members eventually called police, who arrived just after the bushwhacking stranger had made good her escape “wearing only a thigh-length black coat”. The subsequent police report said the woman had told witneses she was called Melissa and was a student at Eastern Michigan University. She “appeared to be under the influence of drugs”, the report notes.

Nye concluded: “Obviously, she was very disturbed. It was not how a normal person would respond to people.” .

Now if it had been the U of Wisconsin I might’ve hazarded a guess at the intruder’s identity.

But why are the sofas tainted? Is it because she leaked, or do they just have invisible woman-wank cooties on them?

Comment of The Day

There’ve been funnier and more apropos comments recently but when I read this I thought “Ah, a man after my own heart”. and besides i get to use this pic again.

Re Sadly No‘s ongoing server problems and current sporadic availability:

steve ex-expat said,

March 28, 2007 at 2:36

I don’t know. When I hit enter and wait for your site to appear, I have time for a nice hot cup of tea.

Exactly. There is always time for tea.