It’s Not So Brilliant Here Either

The US may treat European visitors like vermin (see previous post) but we’re hardly spotless in our attitude towards immigrants, as events in Naples show:

Residents of the former communist stronghold on the northern outskirts of Naples have been raising hell about the camp since Saturday, when a woman claimed a Gypsy girl had entered her flat and tried to steal her baby.

The first Molotov cocktails descended on the improvised huts and cabins on Tuesday evening, after which the 800-odd inhabitants began moving out of the area in groups. On Wednesday the fire-raisers, said to belong to the Camorra, the Neapolitan equivalent of the Mafia, burnt the camp in earnest, watched by applauding local people and unchallenged by the police. When firefighters showed up to douse the blaze, local people taunted and whistled at them. The last Roma moved out under police protection.

Only then did local politicians shed a few crocodile tears: Antonio Bassolino, governor of the Campania region, declaring: “We must stop with the greatest determination these disturbing episodes against the Roma.” Rosa Russo Iervolino, the Mayor of Naples, chimed in: “It is unthinkable that anyone could imagine that I could justify reprisals against the Roma.”
More…

I don’t know enough about the state of Italian politics to say that we’re seeing a surge of modern Mussolini-ism with the reaccession of Berlusconi to the presidency – but it doesn’t half look like it. Crimes committed by Romanians are a hot political issue in Italy:

Since Romania’s accession to the EU this year, the authorities say that over 1,000 Romanian immigrants have arrived in Italy each month.

Since June last year 76 murders have been committed by Romanians.

The mayor of Rome, Walter Veltroni, says that 75% of arrests for murder, rape and robbery in his city this year can be attributed to Romanians.

Mr Prodi believes Italy is not alone in facing this new wave of crime and he has called on Europe’s home office ministers to meet and find a solution.

The Romanian prime minister has responded by sending police liaison officers to major Italian cities to help.

Of course this is Naples and there’s more to this particular outbreak of violence than just politically organised hatred; Naples is well-known to be a stew of corruption, crime and poverty and the local mafia don’t like rivals. Times are getting harder too, for the worried poor and worried-about-getting-poorer middle classes – where Berlusconi sees his support – who are looking for scapegoats for their troubles. The Roma fit the bill, as has been depressingly usual throughout their peripatetic, outcast history in Europe.

As is also depressingly usual in European history concerted government and police action intended to pander to the political base is fostering a culture of tacit approval for mob violence.

Police in Italy have arrested hundreds of suspected illegal immigrants in raids across the country.

Expulsion orders were issued for several dozen of those detained. More than 100 Italians were also arrested.

One raid was on a makeshift camp housing Roma (Gypsies), on the edge of Rome. Italian concern about immigrant crime has tended to focus on the Roma.The police crackdown was part of a week-long operation in Rome, Naples and northern Italy.

It is an apparent sign of the change of policy promised by the new right-wing government of Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi.

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(Except it isn’t new policy, it was his predecessors’ policy too.)

What is important to remember is that this isn’t a case of plucky litle Italy repelling invading criminal gangs from Fortress Europe’s borders: after all, Romanians are our fellow EU citizens, with theoretically equal status to all other EU citizens, including the right to reside in other EU countries. If other EU member countries were to follow Italy’s example, in light of the spread of the mafia EU-wide we’d be expelling Italian criminals from the capitals of Europe by the planeload and Berlusconi would be complaining about ethnic cleansing – which is essentially what this is, but because it’s Roma, it’s OK.

But the first act of ethnic cleansing in the new Italy passed off with little fuss. Flora Martinelli, the woman who reported the alleged kidnap attempt on her baby, said: “I’m very sorry for what’s happening, I didn’t want it to come to this. But the Gypsies had to go.”

Wasn’t that the refrain of the Good Germans, and the Hutus too?

Warning: Get Ready For The War By Other Means

It’s springy springy spring trala, the time when all the old pan-European emnities, ethnic tensions, tribal and religious rivalries burst into full horrendous flower on the television screens of a whole continent.

Yes, it’s Eurovision again!

This year it’s being held in Belgrade and the semi finals are about to get underway:

Tue, May. 20th – 1st Eurovision Semi Final – Eurovision 2008
Thu, May. 22nd – 2nd Eurovision Semi Final – Eurovision 2008
Sat, May. 24th – Eurovision Final – Eurovision 2008

Britain’s entry last time was truly horrible both in concept and execution. I mean really, to enter a contest – whilst still in the throes of a massively unpopular, illegal war – with a bunch of uniformed bimbos singing “We’re Flying The Flag”? Could we have been any more arrogant? and then to sing it totally flat in an atmosphere of strained and embarassed silence? It was dire. In that instance the political voting and aesthetic voting happily coincided and the UK got a deserved bugger-all votes.

This is our entry this year, from Andy Abrahams: a nice, jolly, slightly funky seventies pastiche. Ncely innocuous, unlikely to win but itw on’t actively offend, which is always a plus. But bloody hell, he needs to sort out his offkey backing vocalist.

Is it just me, or does that sound like a rewritten version of ‘H.A.P.P.Y. Radio’ by Edwin Starr?

I make no accusations and I’ll leave that judgement to my fellow northern soul fans…

You’ve got 2 weeks to organise your Eurovision party: as per usual I myself willl be doing the Eurovision marathon fortified with massive amounts of beverages, herbs and snacks and accompanied by a lot of snark on IRC. Eurovision is the next best thing we’ve got to an entertaining war, a war with no actual blood shed except when one performer gets a hangnail snagged on another’s sequins, and I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Lordi might be hideous, but not as hideous as stormtroopers marching down the street.

I already mentioned the voting, which is a whole research topic in itself. As a guide to how it actually works as opposed to how it’s supposed to work (and for an explanation of the whole Turkey/Greece/Cyprus thing) here’s a handy graphic :


Click for bigger version

This year my money is on Ireland to win with their entry from that ineffable and reclusive superstar, Dustin The Turkey.

How could any nation beat that? Irelande Douze Pointe!

Cue The Romanian Wingnut Tort Reform Demands

This may well have the potential to be Central Europe’s McDonalds scalding coffee case

From Ananova;

Man complains after beer makes him drunk

A Romanian man has lodged an official complaint with the local trading standards agency after he got drunk on a single can of beer.

Iancu Boroi, 35, said he had bought the beer at a local supermarket in Arges in southern Romania but was so drunk after drinking just one can that he nearly passed out.

He said: “I am more than capable of holding my drink and it is ridiculous to think one can of beer can get me so drunk.

“There must have been something wrong with it and I am demanding compensation.”

He has written to Romania’s Consumer Protection Office demanding they investigate the case.

The Not So Almighty Dollar

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) – The U.S. dollar’s value is dropping so fast against the euro that small currency outlets in Amsterdam are turning away tourists seeking to sell their dollars for local money while on vacation in the Netherlands.

“Our dollar is worth maybe zero over here,” said Mary Kelly, an American tourist from Indianapolis, Indiana, in front of the Anne Frank house. “It’s hard to find a place to exchange. We have to go downtown, to the central station or post office.”

That’s because the smaller currency exchanges — despite buy/sell spreads that make it easier for them to make money by exchanging small amounts of currency — don’t want to be caught holding dollars that could be worth less by the time they can sell them.

The dollar hovered near record lows on Monday, with one euro worth around $1.58 versus $1.47 a month ago.

That Bowler Hat – It’s Just So Hot

Non-Ukian, non-Murdoch newspaper readers may have missed this story, which comes via The Register:

Polish builder sacked for humping hoover
London kids’ hospital outrage
By Lester Haines Published Monday 3rd March 2008 12:16 GMT

A Polish building contractor working at London’s Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital was given his marching orders after a security guard caught him having sex with a Henry Hoover, the Sun reports.

The unnamed perv was supposed to be locking up the site, at hospital admin offices, but was instead discovered in the staff canteen “naked and on his knees with the smiling cleaner”.

The “horrified” guard told the chap to “clean himself and the hoover”, then ejected him from the premises. The unnamed vacuum-molestor later told his bosses he was actually cleaning his underwear, describing this habit as “a common practice in Poland”.

His employer, HG Construction, was having none of it. The company said: “That behaviour is not acceptable, though it gave a few people a laugh.” ®

Look at that smile, full of hidden promise, that come hither look in his eyes – Henry’s a deliberate little flirt. Who can blame a lonely man, far from home in a strange country, for being tempted?

One might almost think the manufacturers had sex-starved midnight cleaners in mind when they designed Henry….

There’s been a small outbreak of mechanofetishism lately; there’s the man who indecently assaulted a lampost this week and the one a few months ago, who was jailed for having sex with a bike.

But what really is the attraction for bikes, lamposts, hoovers and the like? Is there something inherently erotic in mechanical objects? What? Is it the shape, the smell, the coldness? The deliberate designedness?

I’m inclined to think the real attraction is dicing with the dangerous possibility that they might get their wedding tackle mangled mechanically.

I suppose there are issues of jurisprudence here; what, if any, crime has been committed? Did it realy warrant police intervention? The only crimininality I can see is maybe a breach of the peace or public decency, if it’s been done in front of other people or on work time or with other people’s property or maybe criminal damage, if the insides of whatever apparatus it is gets bunged up with ejaculate…

Enough. I’m stopping there, that last mental image is just a little bit too much even for a sicko like me.