Want To Get Out of Iraq? Flash Your Tits.

Military cheesecake through the ages

Shorter US military: “Torture? Okeydokey! Tits? Not so much. Unless they’re fake, that is.”

Air Force strips Playboy poser of status

By ELIZABETH WHITE, Associated Press Writer
9 minutes ago

SAN ANTONIO – An Air Force drill sergeant who posed nude for Playboy magazine has been removed from active duty, she and the Air Force said Wednesday. Michelle Manhart, who appeared in a six-page spread in Playboy’s February issue, said she got word Friday that she was removed from “extended active duty” and was also told that she was demoted from staff sergeant to senior airman.

[…]

Manhart, a 30-year-old mother of two, said the military’s action against her hinged on the fact that she was pictured wearing her uniform.

She was photographed in uniform yelling and holding weapons under the headline “Tough Love.” The following pages showed her partially clothed wearing dog tags and fully nude. After the pictorial hit newsstands in January, Manhart was relieved of her duties pending an investigation.

Oh, right – so torture, rape and wanton destruction is OK, but tits aren’t.

But wait! Tits are fine with the military – they’ll even give you bigger tits if you join up.

According to the Army, between 2000 and 2003 its doctors performed four hundred and ninety-six breast enlargements and a thousand three hundred and sixty-one liposuction surgeries on soldiers and their dependents. In the first three months of 2004, it performed sixty breast enhancements and two hundred and thirty-one liposuctions.

Let me see if I have this straight. If you join the military they’ll make you like like a Playboy model for free*, but if you actually become a Playboy model, you’re a slut not fit for command.

But just think – the ‘Readers’ Wives’ people could actually stop the war in its tracks by publishing a Military Babes Special. The future of Iraq couild depend on pornography.

[* The surgery is free, you buy your own implants]

Euphemism If You Want To

Via BoingBoing and Ananova:

Hoohaa’ over Vagina Monologues

A charity production of The Vagina Monologues in Florida has changed its name after a woman complained it was offensive.

Atlantic Theatres in Atlantic Beach changed the title of the play to The Hoohaa Monologues, reports Metro.

It came after a complaint from a woman who had driven past the theatre with her niece who had asked her what a vagina was.

The theatre’s Bryce Pfanenstiel said: “I’m on the phone and asked “What did you tell her?” She’s like, “I’m offended I had to answer the question”.”

Some have welcomed the change to The Hoohaa Monologues, while others expressed confusion. “It sounds like a country band,” one passer by commented to local TV station WJXT.

The production is being staged by a group of law students, with all proceeds going to charity. The director has asked for the title to be changed back.

The “Hoohaa” Monologues.. Oh dear.

That woman’s almost as bad as my sister the hypocrite, who told her daughters to call their pudendae their ‘tuppences’, thus neatly amalgamating prudery with the notion of sex for sale. Way to screw up their values.

I have to agree that The Hoohaa Monologues is an excellent name for a country band, though.

Britain’s Very Own Newt Gingrich

It’s true, being a Conservative makes you a prick, whatever your nationality:

Tories support MP who had affair

Arsehole

Mr Gray has been North Wilts MP since 1997

James Gray, a Conservative MP who cheated on his wife, was reselected as constituency candidate on Tuesday.

In a ballot of the North Wiltshire Conservative Association, the 52-year-old received the backing of the party members.

He had called for voters to judge him on his record of constituency work.

The father-of-three admitted having an affair while his wife, Sarah, 51, was being treated for breast cancer. They are now divorcing.

[…]

It gets even nastier when you look at at the background.

The cancer-stricken wife of a Tory MP who left her for another woman has launched a devastating attack on her husband for publicly belittling her fight against the disease.

Sarah Gray, the wife of Wiltshire North MP James Gray, has written to David Cameron saying she is ‘deeply hurt’ by her husband’s behaviour since he left her for married mother-of-three Philippa Mayo, a fellow foxhunting supporter.

Mrs Gray claims her husband ‘undermined’ her cancer ordeal by claiming she merely had treatment for ‘pre-cancerous cells’.

“I cannot ignore the slight he has dealt me,” she told the Conservative leader. “It only serves to show the lack of understanding he had of the physical and psychological effects of the cancer.”

The row erupted following a Mail on Sunday article two weeks ago that revealed that 51-year-old Mrs Gray was considering taking work as a cleaner to make ends meet after their acrimonious break-up.

The MP lodged a complaint about the report with the newspaper industry watchdog, denying his wife was ‘cancer-stricken’ when he left her -but it was his decision to post the letter of complaint on the Conservative Home website that caused further upset to his wife.

Mrs Gray has now also complained to the Press Complaints Commission, objecting to the way her husband made ‘personal statements about me without my permission, many of which I disagree with’. A copy of her letter was also sent to Mr Cameron, local Tory officials and friends

[…]

“He misunderstands what I went through,” she said. “He talks of “pre-cancerous cells”, but re-reading my surgeon’s letters, the words “pre-cancerous” do not appear. “Invasive ductal carcinoma”, “three breast cancers”, “bilateral mastectomy” do appear.

“I do not think that the NHS would have given me two operations, two MRI scans, six courses of chemotherapy and 30 sessions of radiotherapy and now treatment for lymphoedema for nothing.”

Far from playing down her cancer, Mrs Gray claims her husband did the precise opposite at the last Election when he was fighting to hold on to his marginal seat.

“James did ask an audience to pray for me during the Election campaign in 2005,” she says:

“This was the first time he used my illness without my permission. It generated a lot of Press interest. I also postponed my operation for a week as it clashed with Election Day. James must not make light of my illness.”

She describes the way she fought her cancer aided by the couple’s three children as well as the ‘amazing’ team at Bath’s Royal United Hospital and a Haven Trust support centre in Fulham, West London.

She added that she supported her husband’s political career as well as maintaining her family responsibilities despite her health problems.

“In all my varied roles, I kept the show on the road. I cooked for and hosted James’s political supper club for 35 people a week after my last chemotherapy for “pre-cancerous cells”,’ she says bitterly.

“It has been a difficult few months and now James has thrust the issue of my cancer into the spotlight again.”

[…]

But Mrs Gray is not alone in criticising her husband’s conduct. Mrs Mayo’s husband, a 43-year-old criminal barrister, was distraught when he found out his 41-year-old wife was cheating on him and told the MP he was ‘not fit for office’.

Mr Gray declined to comment.

Well he would, wouldn’t he?

It tells you all you need to know about the actual truth of David Cameron’s new ‘kinder gentler’ Tories when they reselect a man like this to represent them.

Funny Women Friday

Since it’s Friday afternoon and we get to bring our toys in, here’s a couple of classic Smack The Pony ‘dating agency’ sketches: .

and because I’m just too nice, a bonus clip from Titty Bang Bang (probably NSFW):

PS, that’s not a man in that second sketch.

Abortion should not be a great moral question

Over at Unfogged Lizardbreath writes for Blog for Choice Day about her own experiences with abortion:

I’ve mentioned here before that I’ve had an abortion; I don’t know how clear it was that it wasn’t a particularly sympathetic abortion. In spring 1995, I’d just started having sex with a new boyfriend. We were using condoms until I could get on the pill, and either one of us screwed something up, or there was a leak, or something happened, and I got pregnant. I had an abortion as early as I was able to schedule it, didn’t find it a particularly upsetting experience (being pregnant was upsetting, both for the obvious practical reasons, and because the hormonal effects of early pregnancy make me very emotionally volatile. One of the odder things about the abortion, and about a later miscarriage, was suddenly recovering control of my emotional state over a period of less than a day.) and haven’t regretted it since then. […]

That’s what abortions shold be like: a guitl free, practical decision devoid of endless moral agonising. But of course, that’s exactly what the never ending battle over abortion makes impossible; when even the pro-choice side thinks abortions should be “safe, legal and rare” no wonder many American women find abortion traumatic.

It doesn’t have to be. The only people who really believe abortion is murder are nutcases like Eric Rudolphs who are willing to kill to stop it. Everybody else, pro-choice or pro-life, has already agreed, either out loud or tacitly, that abortion isn’t murder. All other arguments against abortion come down to “ickyness” and are hence aesthetic rather than ethical objections.

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