What I’d like for my birthday – which is on October 20, since you asked, which you didn’t, but I’m telling you anyway.
Click image for details.
So there’s this performance artist with more money than sense and she buys herself a lookalike realdoll, then makes movies with it. She argues that this is all done in the name of feminism. Some feminists buy this, others don’t.
As for myself, this seems to sum up everything that’s wrong with modern (American) feminism: a tendency that everything a feminist does can be labelled feminisim, a preference for flash over substance, “art” over activism and a fascination with one own’s navel rather than the problems of others.
All this project, and others like it, does is to give the impression that feminism is something for rich, priviledged, twentysomething white women to enjoy as a hobby or an artistic outlet, that feminism has nothing to offer women who do not have the luxury of being able to buy a realdoll version of themselves.
This past week the Girl Guides published the results of a survey of their members that asked what new skills they wanted to learn.
Unsurprisingly the media at home and internationally focused on one item alone – that guides chose ‘practice safe sex’ as an additional skill.
Here’s a couple of typical responses at Free Republic (sorry, won’t dignify them with a linlk)
“This is such a repugnant move on the part of the Girl Guides that it should make decent people want to puke.
In their monthly magazine mailed out to the membership I wouldn’t be surprised if it featured advertisements for sex toys. No rucksack should be without one!”
“I nearly did puke when I heard about this. I actually threw up in my mouth.”
I can guess the reason the Freepers feel nauseous: it’s the conflicted guilt they feel for envisioning young trainee sluts in hot uniforms doing unspeakable things the moment they read ‘girl guides’ and ‘sex’.
How very revealing indeed that the first commenter’s immediate mental connection with girl guides was ‘sex toys’. But then that’s the right wing all over -they say they’re all about protecting girls and women but really it’s about keeping them ignorant and thus easier to mould to mens’ sexual and domestic desires.
I’d also point out that it’s older guides, aged 16-25, who chose the subject – above the age of consent, here and in the US (well above in the case of Idaho, where it’s 14) . But reality’s no barrier to the wingnuts’ fevered imaginations.
Anyway, the list of wanted skills is actually quite interesting and is broken up by age group:
SKILLS WISH-LIST – AGE SEVEN TO 10
Surf the web
Name 10 European countries
Ride a bike
Care for a pet
Which are actually rather sweet. Don’t forget these are additional to the skill badges the guides already do but if anything need be added, I’d say road safety. Or what to do in a flood.
AGE 10 TO 15
Prepare a healthy meal
Change a light-bulb
Say hello in foreign languages
Stand up to boys
I’d add basic bike mechanics for that bike they learned to ride earlier, or how to build your own pc. Girls should learn how things work and how to fix them; competence gives confidence, and might actually help a bit with ‘how to stand up to boys’.
It might also, in the light of recent severe weather events be useful to expand the survival badge to include what to include in an emergency pack, how to cope without power in 6 feet of water, how to make sandbags, purify drinking water and recognise the syptoms of cholera and typhoid…
AGE 16 TO 25
Practise safe sex
Write a CV
Hold on to a job
Plan a holiday
What struck me about that last list is the sharp difference in aspiration between it and the 10-15 list: the latter are all outward looking practical skills, the former totally self-focused – to me it reads like the wish-list of someone working in a dead-end call-center job and going out at the weekends. You can almost see the horizons narrowing.
What should be added to that list is self-defence: what to do if someone pulls a knife, or someone gets shot or if one of your friends is tasered by overzealous cops on an injuncted National Trust or Friends of the Earth protest – also a badge for how to clean up contaminated river sludge from household appliances and disinfect carpets. Or how get a fire going from sodden charcoal and make a cup of tea.
The guides unsurprisingly focus on girls but lest I be accused of misandry I think that everyone needs to learn how to survive in a crisis and every single skillset mentioned here applies equally well to boys.
Especially ‘how to stand up to boys’.
But last weeks floods and the continuibg recovery issues show very clearly that it’s not just modern society today’s young women need to survive in but an an increasingly unstable physical world too.
I know I sound like a stereotypical stuffy great aunt but I’m dismayed at the lack of practical physical survival skills that young people today are taught: parents are just too busy surviving financially or weren’t taught themselves, Ray Mears’ enduring popularity notwithstanding. Sometimes it seems as though teaching children these practical skills in schools is seen as away of empowering children to defy authority. Better to keep the youth pliant and quiet, it’s thought, but if childrens’ urges to take risks leads them has no oulet they’ll confront danger in other ways many of them illegal and/or lethal.
We have a massive resourrce of survival knowledge to draw on from what our grandparents learned from their harsh wartime experiences in times of terrible danger, privation and crisis That knowledge is in danger of being lost as the last wartime generation gradually dies off, but there has to be a way to draw on it to the benefit of today’s youth: they too are threatened, as their grandparents were, by world instability, creeping fascism and men with guns – so they should have quite a lot in common.
Snark aside, whatever you feel about the jingoist and imperialistic origins and the structure and ethos of the scouts and guiding movements and their largely ( at least in the UK) middle-class membership and aspirations, nevertheless it has to be a good thing to teach the young how to survive in a modern society, for as long as that modern society lasts.
Well, it’s comment of the week, really, because it feeds into a topic that’s greatly in the news this week, lone parents and benefit cuts. It’s been announced that in the UK women with children as young as 7 will be forced into low-paid jobs or face benefit cuts, emphasis on the women (I don’t see any mention of men). The blame culture strikes again, setting ‘good’ women against ‘bad’.
So this, from kactus, who’s been guest-blogging at Feministe, was sytartlingly apropios:
kactus Says:
July 16th, 2007 at 4:45 pmI was going to ask the same question as anonplease. You’re literate, well-spoken-I can only assume it’s bias against your colour and disability.
Actually, I’m white, JPlum. I do have a mixed-race daughter, whose picture I plaster all over my blog, and I live in a mostly-black community, but no, actually being white has helped me navigate the welfare system much more than my sisters in poverty who are struggling against the racism in the system.
Look, being well-spoken and educated is no fail-safe protection against poverty. Neither is being white. Although those things help, they are not a guarantee of a middle-class life. I was raised working class, which used to mean something. Now it means almost nothing, except that you still have illusions about what used to be called upward mobility.
I have a quote on my blog from Johnnie Tillmon, a great early welfare rights activist. She says that welfare is like a traffic accident: it can happen to anybody. But especially it happens to women, which is why welfare is a women’s issue.
Women go from middle class comfort to unpredictable poverty all the time, just from something so simple as losing their partners, either to death or divorce or other calamity. As long as the wage gap between women and men is so huge this will continue to be an issue. Women raise children alone all the time, without the benefit of child support. Women often end up working low-wage, dead-end jobs. Women lose jobs because of their children.
Poverty is absolutely a women’s issue. That is why it is a feminist issue, and a human rights issue. And in the end it really doesn’t matter why somebody is poor, or what brought them there. What matters is that it could happen to every single one of us. One slip and bam–we’re in that traffic accident called welfare.
I’m literate and well-spoken too and I’ve been on welfare too: intelligence is no predictor of misfortune and being well-spoken does not negate the effects of institutional misogynism – in fact if you are well-spoken and literate you are considered to be all the more culpable for your own poverty by the ‘caring’ agencies.
This overt equation of poverty with moral failure in the US is becoming more obvious in the UK too as Labour’s neoliberal economic policies create an ever-widening poverty gap by giving tax breaks to the richest and making life ever harder for the poorest.
It made me livid yesterday to listen to the posh voices of the bourgeois ‘left-wing’ think tank wonks on Radio 4 , talking about Labour’s swingeing, unfair cuts to lone parent benefits as taking a ‘carrot and stick’ approach to ‘recalcitrant’ mothers, as though women raising small children alone were lazy, shiftless animals.
Why is it that motherhood is a worthy full-time job for them, the smug middle-class Yummy Mummy marrieds, with their 4X4 baby buggies, Tumble Tots and their insatiable Daily Mail-fed terror of the icky urban poor – but not for mothers bringing up children alone?
Aren’t less well-off children entitled to the same quality of parenting as those born to the luckily well-off? Why does addition of a man to the equation make their children more worthy of a decent upbringing?
Is the government saying that married mothers are morally more worthy than unmarried? It certainly sounds like it. You’d think the Labour sisterhood’d be up in arms, wouldn’t you?
Hello….? Harriet Harman? Anyone?
Nope, didn’t think so. Labour sisterhood never was for shit, except as it furthered certain women’s political careers, as I and many other ex-Labour members can testify. That those women would now sit back, mum, while the Treasury thumps the most overtaxed, most vulnerable families in society, the people who voted for them to be where they are because they thought Labour and Labour wonen would be a voice for women and children…
I was a good lone parent. I did everything I was supposed to, even though I was sick – I went back tio University to got a degree, I went on training courses, I took low-paid jobs to get on the ladder. I’m not unique in this, it’s what a lot of women do, because we have to and we don’t like being un-self-supporting.
When I first graduated I worked 3 years for 60-70 hour weeks for nothing getting an anti-poverty campaigning and advice agency off the ground and funded, a] because I was committed to it, having seen myself what an impenetrable maze bureaucracy can be for the uninitiated b] because legal aid is hard to get and c] because I knew that doing it myself was the only way I’d ever get a legal job . I know because I tried but no-one wants someone with a patchy medical history and I can understand why. No problems with jobs as a part-time temp, yes, but that doesn’t feed children or pay the rent…
Then a man was given the paid post I raised the money for, over my head, because of local political infighting, aka the sexual appetites of prominent Labour councillor’s partner. I walked out and the organisation went tits up later when a deal was done by the very same councilllors for the land it stood on.
It knocked me right back on my heels, three year’s hard work down the tubes, but I did manage to get an antipoverty strategy put into local council policy, albeit briefly, which is something, I suppose – every decision made by the council had to be considered in the light it would have on those on low incomes. But not for long, cheers, New Labour. Once back in power they always forget who put them there. Lone mothers. Poor people, people like me ho’ve seen the injustice poverty causes.
Blaming lone mothers for their own poverty and accusing them of being leeches on society iis very useful to the government because it enables the real plight of the poor to be disregarded. But poverty can hit very quicly and few women are immune.
Say you have a husband, a house, a mortgage and two children under 5: you’ve left your job to go part-time, or you’ve had to leave to look after the children. One day your husband just ups and leaves you for someone else, shutting down all the bank accounts, taking the car and barring access to money. As happened to my sister one Christmas Eve.
How do you feed your kids while coping with the aftermath? But milk, or nappies? How do you pay the childminder to go to your part-time job? What if you have to leave your job, what then?
These are the current UK benefit rates for a lone parent on means-tested benefits:
Lone parent
under 18 35.65/46.85
18 or over 59.15Dependent children 47.45
Family premium 16.43
Max total 170 pounds, plus housing and council benefit if in rented accommodation (nothing at all if in your own home, you’ll have to find the mortgage payment out of the 170) say, around another 100 pounds a week if not living in London, less elsewhere.
That gives a maximum weekly income of around 270 pounds a week to find everything out of – food, electric, gas, rent, travel costs, school lunches, school uniforms, books… It certainly looks generous on the face of it, but not when you consider what has to come out of it and that the national average weekly household income is 570 pounds. Lone parents must do all the parenting that two parents do on around half the income.
Lone parents are disproportionately women and for some reason people think women can cope with poverty, that we don’t need a decent income, that we’ll manage, because that’s what we do – and that our lot in life is to just shut up and take it, wait until someone deigns to hand us some charity and then we must be duly grateful and publicly so.
What is conveniently forgotten is that these meagre benefit entitlements have been paid for several times over by ours and our parents’ and grandparents’ National Insurance contributions and will be by the future contributions of our children, should they be able to get a job and not be trapped in poverty.
This attitude illustrates a fundamental misunderstanding of the concept of the welfare state: the Brown government, as the Tories did before it, would like the public to think that social security is charity, and that those seeking alms from the charity can somehow be sorted into the ‘deserving’ and undeserving’. You can see how well this has worked by reading the comments to this Scotsman article onthe benefit cuts, of which this is a representative example:
I am in complete harmony with the principle that individuals should be accountable for their actions, and see no reason why I should help someone to raise a child if they are not prepared to work, even if it’s part time. The welfare system in this country was never set up to fund lifestyles, and sadly that’s basically what it does now, fund lazy eegits, criminals and slappers, and other wasters.
Delinquent fathers is another topic of irritation, and we should be relentless in finding them and forcing them to contribute to the childs up bringing expenses.
Rant over!
:
State benefits are not charity, they are an arrangement between the citizen and the state to provide support out of work in return for contributions from income when in work. Why? So that no more generations of children would be raised in poverty. That was why we voted Labour.
The British media would have the public believe that lone parents get more benefit than couples: not so –
Couple
both under 18 35.65/46.85/70.70
one under 18 46.85/59.15/92.80
both aged 18+ 92.80
Even though lone mothers have to do the work of two parents on less money iand less time and the cost of running a household is the same for a lone parent as it is for a couple.
Instead of enabling lone parents (and isn’t it odd how the public discourse has slipped back from ‘lone parents’ to ‘single mothers’? – talk about feminising the situation for blame purposes) to raise their children in a way which does not exclude them from participating in society – after all children do not choose the families they are born into, why should they suffer? – the less morally worthy single mothers must be made to work and work hard for their charitable handout, even if it means spending time that should be spent raising children properly in filling out constant, pointless forms and doing empty busywork preparing for jobs they won’t get anyway because there are a thousand younger, more qualified new graduates or recent economic migrants with no children or other baggage right in line before them.
The jobs that are available to lone parents don’t pay enough to cover the loss of housing benefit or are in low-paid shift work, or on-demand hours, requiring the most minutely arranged time-management, transport and hugely expensive and precarious childcare arrangements for very little reward after direct and indirect taxation are taken into account.
And where’s all the extra childcare to come from? The government is planning that schools should become child-care centres and children should attend from 7 am till 6pm, with drastically reduced vacation time. I wonder who’ll be forced to apply for the childcare jiobs at these childcare centrres? Lone parents forced out to work…
We’re building a nicely circular low-paid system of poor women looking after other women’s children while having to put their own into… paid childcare. But hey, at least they’re not scrounging.
With all this in mind it doesn’t help at all that that women who do currently, temporarily, have money and security look down on lone parents as moral failures. No – we were sick, or our partner turned out to be an asshole, or the condom broke or the pill didn’t work or we got made redundant. Some of which has happened to me at some point as it can happen to any parent. That’s the whole point of the benefit system: there but for the grace of whatever deity or randomness go you.
And don’t talk to me about relative poverty. If you can’t pay your bills you can’t pay your bills whether in pounds, dinar or Zimbabwean hyper-currency.
A family is a family, one parent or two and deserves state support. families are what makes the state – but as Gordon Brown so constantly reiterates, it’s only ‘hard-working’ families. Well, lone parents are hard-working too: they’re working hard at raising the next genration of taxpayers that will help fund the currently comfortable’s pensions.
It’s they who are the bedrock of a very unequal society, doing all the shit unpaid jobs no-one else will, for bugger all reward except the blame of the tabloids for causing all the ills of society.
But blame is useful it enables the currently comfortable to ignore real poverty, to feel smug, to have someone to despise: not only that, it sets women against one another and is yet another way of dividing and ruling.
It may be unfair to judge a book before it’s published and before I’ve even read it, but I did hear the author on the radio this morning and on hearing what she had to say my feminist radar immediately went “Spung!! Twee stereotype alert!”
And I speak as someone raised on Arthur Mee’s Childrens’ Encyclopaedia and Enid Blyton. But I also read Swallows and Amazons and Ursula LeGuin and knew when I was being talked down to by condescending adults.
The book in question is called ‘The Glorious Book For Girls’ and purports to be a riposte to that best-seller to middle-aged men, ‘The Dangerous Book for Boys’. There’s certainly room in the market for a book that teaches girls survival skills – it’s just not this one.
I must say my hackles went up right away just at the title: The girls’ book is called ‘Glorious’. But why not ‘Dangerous’? Don’t girls want to tie knots, ckimb trees, collect coins and stamps, start campfires, make their own microscopes and cause small explosions too? I know I did and I still do.
Here’s the publishers’ blurb:
Homemade scones, pom-poms, daisy chains. . . The Great Big Glorious Book for Girls will take women back to a time when we made cup cakes with our grandmothers, when girls weren’t obsessed with all things pink, when they didn’t wear ‘hot to trot’ t-shirts aged eight and when a bit of sticky-backed plastic and a tissue box could be the answer to your dreams.
Perfect for mothers, grandmothers, aunts and godmothers (as well as daughters, granddaughters, nieces and goddaughters, of course), this is a book for all women who secretly, or not so secretly, loved playing French elastics, dream of making elderflower cordial and need reminding of how to play cat’s cradle.
Sounds quite tempting, doesn’t it? I certainly enjoyed doing those things when young.
So despite my misgivings about the title I was quite interested. But as the discussion progressed between the author and the feminist lawyer who’d been invited to give the opposing view – because as any fule kno, any BBC radio news discussion must be reduced to two opposing views- the book’s actual content became clearer and my heart sank.
Glitter and ponies. How to talk to boys and pluck your eyebrows; how to bake a cake, sew a hem and what? How to sulk?.
Surely it couldn’t be so regressive, could it? The author couldn’t be trying to turn girls into little po-faced, fairy-loving Violet Elizabeth Botts or embryo Fanny Craddock memsahibs, all flowery pinnies and high maintenance hairdos – could she?
Oh, yes she could.
The Telegraph (what a surprise that the Tory papers should love this book) gives a little more insight into the book’s topics:
10 Things Every Girl Should Know
1. How To Deal With Boys
2. How To Have A Best Friend
3. How To Cope When Your Best Friend Gets A New Best Friend
4. What To Do When Introduced To Older People
5. How Not To Be Fazed By Other People’s Strange Habits
6. How To Keep A Secret
7. How To Tell If An Egg Is Fresh
8. How To Sulk
9. How To Have A Crush
10. How to Set Your Inner Alarm Clock
To which I might add, 11. How to tell when someone with no conception of girls’ lives today other what she gleaned from Enid Blyton school stories is talking down to you. Or 12. How to tell when you’re being flim-flammed by your own side.
I could go on, but you get the drift.
This is the corresponding publisher’s blurb for The Dangerous Book For Boys:
The Dangerous Book for Boys gives you facts and figures at your fingertips – swot up on the solar system, learn about famous battles and read inspiring stories of incredible courage and bravery. Teach your old dog new tricks. Make a pinhole camera. Understand the laws of cricket. There’s a whole world out there: with this book, anyone can get out and explore it.
That’s the book I’d’ve wanted to read, not some twee advice about fairy cakes or ballet shoes. If someone had bought me a book like the Glorious Book when I as a girl, I would’ve thanked the giver and immediately ‘lost’ it (the book and my temper) the moment I came across this :
Build your own fairy house
Fairies usually live in hedges and little bushes, so you should look out for them and help make their houses more comfortable. Choose the tree or bush you think is most likely to be a fairy’s house and carpet it with moss and flower petals.
Acorn cups make good bowls for water and basins for the fairies to wash their faces and clothes. Small fluffy feathers are very soft for pillows; if you live in the country, find some lamb’s wool – fairies love to sleep on it.
Empty snail shells make good sculptures for fairy banqueting rooms. Find pieces of wood to make a grand dining table and benches for the fairies to sit on.
You can leave tiny things to eat. Fairies like small garden peas, berries and rose petals.
Mark out a garden path with tiny coloured pebbles and make a fairy garden with flowers and twigs. If you dig a little hole and place a small bowl or cupcake tin in it, this could be a garden pond.
Fairies don’t like to be seen, so usually come out at dusk, just before bedtime so they can find your gifts and eat their supper while you are sleeping. In the morning, when you go back to the fairy house, you might have a little clearing up to do to get it spick and span.
So when climate change starts to hit, our female young will be perfectly prepared to build shelters, find food and care for themselves fairies.
I think that speaks for itself as to what the authors think it’s useful for girls to know. Not how to deal with bullying by SMS, or keep yourself safe on the bus, or what to do if your friend’s Dad gets a liitle too friendly or your house gets flooded. Nope, the answer is glitter, pompoms and fairy cakes. Oy.
Feminism may not be quite dead, but some of us women are doing our best to kill it.