Well, here’s something even cuter:
Funny
I Am Saying She’s A Golddigger
I came across this Craigslist-related morality play while idly googling for something else, as is often the way. Apparently this dating ad and the reply has been doing the email rounds on Wall St and I think it’s time it broke into the general population.
Craigslist Meets WallStreet…Classic
What a classic answer…..THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
– Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
– Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
– How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
In the immortal words of Chandler Bing, could they be any more shallow?
But on the other hand, there is something to be said for treating marriage like a contract, at least everone knows where the stand, or thinks they do. But it only works when both sides have more or less equal bargaining power, which patently isn’t the case here.
Still, there was a time when a girl had to rely on her father to do the bargaining when she was sold into marriage – I suppose it’s a step forward, of a kind, that now she gets to set the terms of the sale herself.
Linky Linky
“YO! MS Raps!” Remember when 45 whole k of memory was like woah, dude? Happy days. Here’s a very silly rapping Microsoft training video for the MS-Dos 5.0 upgrade.
“Gimme 5.0!” Watch it and cringe.
McDonald’s Worker Wins Hoax Strip-Search Suit
US produce is being left to rot in the fields because of the right-wing immigration backlash. Prison labour is being used to make up the shortfall. Expect price rises and shortages.
Guidebook issued for Muslims in space Which way is Mecca when there’s no compass?
Even a cuckoo clock needs love…
Thinking about a kitchen update? You can keep your Corian and your hand-hewn granite: this interactive LED-loaded worktop is what I want in my kitchen.
Are you against the Iraq War? Hate Bushco? Nonviolent protestor? Hoping you’re going to escape to Canada if it all goes to shit? Well, think again:
FBI Puts Antiwar Protesters on Criminal Database; Canada Uses It To Ban Protesters From Entry
“The FBI’s placing of peace activists on an international criminal database is blatant political intimidation of US citizens opposed to Bush administration policies,” says Colonel Wright, who was also Deputy US Ambassador in four countries. “The Canadian government should certainly not accept this FBI database”
Awwwww. A stray 6-week-old calico kitten accidentally traveled from New Jersey to New Hampshire in a spare-tire compartment.
US corporations are getting into international diplomacy, via lobby group Business for Diplomatic Action :
“Our mission is to enlist the U.S. business community in actions to improve the standing of America in the world with the goal of once again, seeing America admired as a global leader and respected as a courier of progress and prosperity for all people.”
What’s their solution for the US’ dire international diplomatic position? Kick out Bush perhaps, stop being such gungho assholes maybe, possibly change the system? Of course not, don’t be silly. It’s not what they do that’s the problem, it’s how we perceive it… so they’re going to rebrand America. Yes, seriously. They’ve got a real job on their hands.
Double awww: “Mom, is that you? Orphaned kitten is nursed by local dog ”
Wahahahahahaha. AP has the lowdown on the greedy, hypocritical life of slimy evangelist Oral Roberts and his spawn, whose fundy ‘university’ is being sued for wrongful dismissal.
Twenty years ago, televangelist Oral Roberts said he was reading a spy novel when God appeared to him and told him to raise $8 million for Roberts’ university, or else he would be “called home.”
Now, his son, Oral Roberts University President Richard Roberts, says God is speaking again, telling him to deny lurid allegations in a lawsuit that threatens to engulf this 44-year-old Bible Belt college in scandal.
Richard Roberts is accused of illegal involvement in a local political campaign and lavish spending at donors’ expense, including numerous home remodeling projects, use of the university jet for his daughter’s senior trip to the Bahamas, and a red Mercedes convertible and a Lexus SUV for his wife, Lindsay.
She is accused of dropping tens of thousands of dollars on clothes, awarding nonacademic scholarships to friends of her children and sending scores of text messages on university-issued cell phones to people described in the lawsuit as “underage males.”
What kind of parent names a kid Oral, anyway? You’ve got to wonder.
UPDATE: For perplexed UKians, Sara Robinson has a good overview of the Robertses, Oral and offspring, here.
Headline of the Day
Agence France Presse/Raw Story:
Heath Robinson Lives!
The best improvised machinery video ever:
At first I thought it was going to make tea, but no such luck. Now if only we could figure out a way to harness all that geek power for the good of humanity…