Or, what Dutch really sounds like to foreigners.
Funny
I Suspect Beer Was Involved Somewhere.
Makes a change from wearing a traffic cone as a hat:
Students played ‘frisbee’ with land mine
Two Swiss students on holiday played frisbee with an object they found on a beach unaware it was a live land mine.
Lukas Aider, 20, and Christoph Kurz, 19, took a plunge in the Danube river in Budapest when they found the mine and began their potentially lethal game.
A lifeguard watching stopped them and immediately called the police.
A bomb squad then arrived to make safe what turned out to be an old Soviet 6 kilogrammes anti-tank mine.
Ploppy
Palau thinks it’s the Dutch that are obsessed by bowel movements, while I have always maintained it’s the English who are obsessed with “being regular”, and now I’ve got proof. Meet Ploppy, the WordPress plugin for “describing the state of your bowel movements using the Bristol Stool Scale”.
Created by an Englishman.
Taking A Bite Out of ID Crime
A prize-winning poodle from North Wales has become the latest victim of online identity theft.
Details of the two-year-old poodle, named Afonwen Welch Fusilier, were posted on the internet by proud owner Lynne Day who was keen to show off her dashing hound.
But a crook pilfered the details from the site and is passing the dog off as his own, according the the North Wales Post.
He claims that Afonwen Welch Fusilier – pet name Blue – has given birth to puppies, despite the real dog being male.
And the mystery man, who calls himself Henry Daf and whose registered address turns out to be a Glasgow graveyard, is touting the phantom pups to potential buyers for £1,000 each.
The scam was spotted by Annette Connolly-Read, of Hounslow, London, who was looking for a poodle on a dog sellers’ website and came across the mystery Afonwen pups.
Blue last year won at the Midlands Counties Canine Society Show and the North West Poodle Club, and competed unsuccessfully at Crufts.
North Wales Police are investigating the scam.
Until I remembered DNA I had visions of North Wales’ bumblingly macho (and racist) police sticking their noses up the arses of a lot of small, ridiculously clipped animals in an effort to sniff out the culprit.
Damn you, scientists, with your clever sciencey science. I was enjoying that mental picture.
To Hell With The Weather, Let’s Mock Slebs Instead
Thank the internet and photoshop for coming up with the modern equivalent of Dorian Gray’s attic painting with a gallery of what celebrities would look like without the fake tan, personal trainers, teeth straightening and whitening, nose jobs, extensions and boob jobs.
Here’s Madonna supposedly at her actual physical age:
Actually that’s not so unlikely.