It’s no weirder than all the speculation (oh, all right then, it’s me speculating, but if I just sneakily use the wingnut blogger construction ‘some say’, my ass is covered) that the Cheney sprog’s a clone of his own grandad, like in The Boys From Brazil; he’s just the first in a strain of uber-Cheneys being bred to take over the world and he’ll be called Damien and have a big pet dog and a very loyal nanny.
Armed cops in Lara Croft bust action Manchester gun-toting minx scare
By Lester Haines Published Thursday 17th May 2007 09:02 GMT
Those of you thinking of firing up Tomb Raider this morning should be aware that Lara Croft is currently unavailable – a guest of Manchester’s Boys in Blue after armed officers cornered the gun-toting minx in a suburban living room.
The house’s owner – computer shop owner David Williams – phoned police at around midnight to report “nuisance phone calls”, The Daily Mail reports. Officers duly made their way to his house in Dukinfield, near Ashton-under-Lyne, but quickly spotted the silhouette of a gunman in the front room.
They cordoned off the street, called for armed back-up and, when Williams failed to answer the front door, piled in mob-handed through the rear entrance.
In the event, the armed perp put up little resistance, since she was a life-size representation of Lara Croft which Williams had taken home for disposal on eBay. He recounted: “It would have been laughable if it hadn’t been so terrifying. One of the police held a gun and yelled, ‘Where’s the weapon, where’s the weapon?’
[…]
Williams was arrested at the scene and held for 13 hours. He’s now been bailed on firearms offences and will find out next month if he faces further action. He says he is “speaking to lawyers about a possible claim for wrongful arrest”. Lara Croft, meanwhile, remains “impounded as evidence”. ®
Although I can’t stand Gordon Brown I wish Tony ‘legacy’ Blair would either just sod off now or be arrested, preferably the latter.
This first clip, “Go Now!” from the much-loved and lamented Spitting Image, refers to a previous, equally-loathed (discuss) PM, Maggie Thatcher, but it serves equally well for Mr.Tony.
Sums up Blair’s whole premiership, really, doesn’t it?
This next is also from Spitting Image and isn’t political, though you could argue that it puts people off holidays abroad and helps fight climate change….
Naaah. That would be silly.
I included it mainly because I’m evil and I like earworming people. Yup, it’s The Chicken Song… “throw a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose…” See, you’re already singing it and if you’re not, you will.
Or maybe I’m wrong; maybe the force is strong in you. But I have a secet weapon mwahahahah. If the Chicken Song didn’t get you, this will. Here’s Mitch Benn‘s ode to IKEA, from The Now Show, set to an oddly appropriate video of World of Warcraft dwarves. IKEA!!!!
For the bonus clips I’m staying with the WoW theme: here’s a preview of Make Love Not Warcraft, South Park in a WoW stylee:
Once I started looking at WoW comedy videos, I quickly realised just how wide a vein of fanart I’d struck. Here’s Weird Al Yankovich‘s Amish Warcraft Paradise:
WoW people are seriouslly obsessed – that machinima animation must take hours to do. In between that, and playing the game, and talking about the game on IRC or IM or whatever, I don’t suppose there’s a lot of actual time left. Now we know where all those cheeto-eating chiickenhawks went.*
Speaking of chickenhawks – it’s back to Spitting Image again for the final clip. They had as little mercy for US politicians as they did for British: here’s the utterly addled Ronald Reagan’s morning routine. Hmm, an idiot Republican president. I’m sensing a pattern here.
[*Asscovering disclaimer: Yes I am aware of the geographic, political and ethnic diversity of Warcraft players. I also know there’re lots of players. A community that large can accommodate a lot of wingnuts. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing – I for one am thankful for it. Let them fight their wars virtually. It keeps the buggers out of RL politics.]
Story: Sensing that his own end was near, Marcura set to work digging his own grave.
Final Irony: According to news reports, “in a sudden cloudburst, water began to fill up the hole. Marcura tried to bail it out with a bucket, slipped in and drowned.”
[…]
JOHANN UNDERWALD, a Swiss mathematician
Story: Underwald, one of the brightest stars in his field, was described by his peers as “the next Albert Einstein.”
Final Irony: Underwald died in October 1999. Cause of death: mathematical error – Underwald “made a 250-foot bungee jump with a 300-foot bungee cord, and died immediately on impact.”
