Funny

Good Friday Comedy Double Triple Quadruple

Comedy double, Funny, Religion, Video
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After I’ve posted this I’m taking this weekend off blogging. The weather is gorgeous: the sky is blue and cloudless, the temperature clement; the garden is full of tulips in statuesque full bloom and all the waterside trees are dressed in a froth of blossom and fresh green. Thanks, global warming! The streets are thronged with what seems half the world’s youth, all en fete in their new spring clothes. Amsterdam has a barely suppressed air of freshness, gaiety and optimism, an all too brief moment in a city than can be so grim, grey and dour.

If I don’t do something a little more life-affirming than ponder death, destruction and the general shittiness of life for a while I swear I’ll rip out the spacebar from this kb and slit my wrists with it. But I didn’t want to just bugger off with no notice and without leaving a holiday treat, so to get us in the proper holiday mood, first up’s a seasonal classic.

(It’s Good Friday – how could I not?)

Staying on the spiritual enrichnment theme, today we’re going to spend this afternoon sitting under a tree at an Amsterdam canalside cafe in between shoe shops, watching the world go by and generally feeling smugly cosmopolitan. I already chose the shoes last week – the shopping is just a formality and an excuse to just loaf about gezellig cafes imbibing the holiday atmosphere. The rest of the weekend, who knows? What does one do when one does not blog?

Next clip is a relaxed chat to go with your hot cross buns (or regional paschal treat of choice should you celebrate Easter) and coffee -here’s some gentle comic iconoclasm from the sadly missed Dave Allen, who’s musing about the story of Adam and Eve:

Since no comedy double seems complete without a third video these days, here’s another and it’s -surprise, surprise – about religion again. I’d been looking for a clip of Louis Theroux’s documentary about the Westboro Baptist Church, which we watched on the BBC last week, when I found this instead: an elder male Phelps (the Phelps are known for their rigid fundyism and er, unique theology) being flirted with by an Australian interviewer who seems to know no fear. “…but they’re just so firm!” Heh.

What’s that you say? You want your Easter egg now?

Sorry, can’t do it – the chocolate clogs up the tubes and besides the Easter bunny has other plans this weekend.

Have a nice weekend – I’ll be back late Monday evening/Tuesday morning, euroweenie time, newly shod and spiritually refreshed.

Take That, Wingnuttia! And You Too, Sensible Liberals!

creative direct action, Funny, Internet
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Is there a blog you hate so much you’d like to nuke it from orbit or have a cow shit all over it? Then you’re in luck.

Every couple of months, when I’ve had my fill of pissing cats, noisy neighbours and depressing Dutch grocery stores, and the urge for a a little injection of cultcha is pressing, I head to Crooked Timber. This occasional visit is just enough to feed my neurotic craving to feel I’m in with the big and clever bloggers just because I actually get the occasional academic in-joke and having done that, I then don’t feel the need to go there for months, having fully assuaged my need to feel self-congratulatorily and smugly intellectual for a while.

But today instead of propping up my intellectual vanity, CT (see how hip I am?) is encouraging my childish desire to throw mud at other bloggers, with this very nifty online toy:

Net Disaster allows you to indulge your worst fantasies of blog conflagration, to dispense vomit from a great height on a website you hate – or more simply, to annihilate with the Hand of God, an appropriate fate for most online fundiewindbaggery.

Simply enter your URL of choice, pick your method of disposal, point, click and KERSPLAT! Or KAPOW!, depending on the mode of destruction chosen. No-one gets hurt, except on your screen and in your head, and best of all no damage is caused and no one can sue (though I wouldn’t put it past certain wingnuts to ponder lawsuits for intentional distress and emotional suffering).

Next time you feel the need to piss on Powerline, flood Fox News or set wasps on the WaPo and the White House feel free – but don’t be surprised if you if you get caught in return fire or even a friendly fire incident.

Oops! FDL got acid-peed on. How very clumsy of me. Hmm, who’s next, I wonder…

Attack Of The Mystery Gusset Typist

Culture, Funny, Sexuality, Women
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The Register:

Masturbating woman shakes Michigan Uni frat house
Bushwhacking intruder makes herself right at home
By Lester Haines ? More by this author
Published Monday 2nd April 2007 15:10 GMT

A Michigan University frat house will throw out two couches tainted by a mystery masturbating female intruder who used the furniture for an extended public self-pleasuring session, The Michigan Daily reports.

The woman in question simply walked into Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity house “without permission” last Thursday, “entered the house’s living room, took off her clothes and started masturbating”, according to shaken frat president Dan Nye.

Shocked frat members “asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour”. When pressed as to whether she felt ok, the beaver-petting stranger “casually replied that she was fine” and even made a quick call on her mobile phone while tickling the taco.

Frat members eventually called police, who arrived just after the bushwhacking stranger had made good her escape “wearing only a thigh-length black coat”. The subsequent police report said the woman had told witneses she was called Melissa and was a student at Eastern Michigan University. She “appeared to be under the influence of drugs”, the report notes.

Nye concluded: “Obviously, she was very disturbed. It was not how a normal person would respond to people.” .

Now if it had been the U of Wisconsin I might’ve hazarded a guess at the intruder’s identity.

But why are the sofas tainted? Is it because she leaked, or do they just have invisible woman-wank cooties on them?

Comedy Double Plus

Comedy double, Funny, Video
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British comic Gina Yashere, whose video I’ve featured before on this blog, has been uploading lots of clips to her YouTube page and it’s such a big bag of goodies it’s hard to know which one to choose. In the end I just had to feature this one, of her recent concert trip to Iraq:

I went to Iraq to do some shows for the troops. 1- because I like a challenge, 2- because even though I am totally against this war, I’m also morbidly curious! This is a light hearted look at my trip

She’s got some gumption, as you’ll see in the video as she’s dangling over the edge of a helicopter. But now I want to see know what happened on the rest of the tour. More video please, Gina, if you’ve got it.

And now for something completely different – this little clip, on a surefire way to get and keep a man, is from Life Support, an old Australian spoof daytime lifestyle show. It being Australian comedy and therefore quite sick, this clip is not only NSFW but comes with a Great Big Red Warning Stickerfor those easily offended by humour about physical infirmity.

That seems all too horribly plausible after watching E! or a shopping channel or the like for any length of time.

Now for the bonus clip and a a real bonus it is too. This had us literally helpless with laughter when we saw it on the otherwise patchy new BBC3 sketch show Rush Hour last week. This is Adam Buxton (of the fondly remembered movies-with-soft-toys show The Adam and Joe Show) as a middle-class Rock Dad who plays his son NWA’s Fuck Tha Police, with live censoring.

Friday Comedy Double Triple

Comedy double, Funny, Video
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First a classic clip from Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse, “Women! Know Your Limits!”

I’d forgotten how funny that show was but it’s odd how some of the sketches, cynical as they seemed at the time, now seem almost innocent. Enfield and Whitehouse’s recent work hasn’t matched the comedic heights of Enfield and Chums or The Fast Show and they’ve been overtaken by a younger, sharper and darker generation of comedians, although Whitehouse and former fast show colleague Charlie Higson have found a new home at BBC Radio 4 in the spoof call-in programme, Down the Line.

Given that the comedian-recycling loop is around 25 years (see the resurgent Goodies) I reckon a full-on Enfield/Whitehouse revival is due sometime between 2010-15.

The second clip is of Irish puppet talk-show hosts Podge and Rodge interviewing (well, that was the original plan) Johnny Vegas. It starts out quite sedately but then things go horribly wrong very quickly indeed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a wooden puppet look quite so disconcerted before, but like Vegas says, they could’ve interviewed Dana so they deserve all they get.

Vegas’ hit UK series, Ideal is just starting it’s third series on BBC3; I don’t expect it’ll be shown on USAnian TV any time soon though given that it’s about Moz, a slob of a low-level dope dealer who never leaves his flat. Martin hates it, I love it; Moz and his inadequate, oddball customers may be sleazy and sad but that’s what England and the English are actually like. So as an added extra bonus because I feel homesick for grubby Britain, here’s a clip of the highlights from episode 5 of the second series.