Funny

If You Flinch Easily, Look Away Now

Funny, Sexuality
Published on 2 Comments on If You Flinch Easily, Look Away Now

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Male readers, try not to immediately cup your family jewels protectively while reading this Metro story; your workmates’ll think you’re having a little private pleasure in public. Female readers – just try not to laugh.

Singapore:

A boss and his secretary who were having an affair saw their romantic tryst interrupted in a wince-inducing manner – after a car crash led her to accidentally bite his penis off.

According to reports in China Press and Sin Chew Daily, the 30-year-old woman was performing oral sex on her boss in a car in a Singapore park, when the car was struck by a reversing van.

The impact caused her to bite the man’s penis off.< Just in case this wasn't already bad enough for those involved, the incident was observed by a private detective who had been sent by the woman's husband to catch them out. He described how, shortly after parking, the car started to 'shake violently' - but then was hit by the van. He said that the woman screamed loudly, with her mouth covered in blood. Whole story

Pandering to The Pizza Base

Culture, Food, Funny, Uh? WTF?
Published on

What a political weekend.

Never was so much freeloaded by so many in New Labour’s long march to attain – and maintain – the haute-bourgeois lifestyle to which they think they should be accustomed. Never were so many acres of newsprint or miles of pixels expended in condemning it. ‘Do they think we’re stupid?’ is the general cry.

Yes, they do.

If this ASDA customer service recording is any evidence, they’re right. We are stupid. And like greedy MPs, we all expect something for nothing too:

Hello? Is that ASDA/Walmart? Can you deliver another Parliament, please? This one’s got no bottom to it.

The Sound Of Worms Turning

Blogs, Funny, Gordon Brown, New Labour, UK politics
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worm

How little authority has Gordon Brown left with New Labour’s dwindling rank and file? Poster ACLB at Labour Home certainly feels free enough of the big clunking fist enough to wax lyrical on his potential exit:

“Fifty Ways to leave your leader…”

“The problem is all in No. 10” said Clarke softly,

“The plan can be easy if we make it confidentially,

We need Brown Balls and all that crew gone if we are to be free”,

There must be fifty ways to dump our leader.

_____________

She said “it’s really not my habit to intrigue,

Furthermore, I hope you’ll never put any more stuff on YouTube,

But I’ll repeat myself, at the risk of being smeared,

There must 50 ways do dump our leader”,

Fifty ways to dump our leader.

Read the rest (if you can bear it)

“Attack him with pith, Smith…”? Do not give up the day job, ACLB.