Tick Tick Tick….Phut.

I’m loth to post yet again that hurrah, Gordon Brown’s demise may finally be imminent, because yet again it probably isn’t.

For all that backbenchers, junior ministers and whips alike are coming out of the woodwork, I’ll believe Gordon’s gone when I actually see it. Labours MPs are more like their current leader than they think; they bottle it, just like he does. The bottled on kicking out Blair, who essentially went at a time of his own choosing, and they’ve bottled this too and more than once.

The Labour backbench rebellion reminds me of nothing so much as a rackety old car; everybody’s taking a turn at the handle but the engine resolutely refuses to catch. Kicking it might help.

Dennis, Your Country Needs You

FFS, someone stick the knife in already. If disaffected teenagers can do it why can’t Labour?

The British weekend papers are full (yet again) of speculation and hot air about how dreadful that Gordon Brown is and how entirely useless; all are agreed, everyone hates him and he should go – but they’re also agreed that his MPs are all all too bloody scared, too frit or too attached to their pensions, salaries and mortgage support to actually do anything so honourable as to rid the country of such an obviously festering boil.

How long has this been going on now? But there is a theoretical way out that would let any frightened internal assassin off the hook and end this impasse. Not that I think any Labour MP should be let off the hook for anything – this is purely in the interests of expediency.

However it would mean talking to the Opposition and preparing to lose one’s job:

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The Politics Of Mixtapes

[Image source Peter And The Hare]

In the midst of this morning’s wailing and gnashing of teeth over the Glasgow bye-election result the Observer gives us a little glimpse of the fundamental difference between Gordon Brown and David Cameron:

Yesterday Brown was trying to show it was business as usual, joining his family in Suffolk for his summer break and telling reporters: ‘I think everybody’s ready for a holiday.’ Hours before, he had hosted the US presidential candidate Barack Obama in Downing Street. Obama met Brown’s children and his brother-in-law during a relaxed visit, during which the Browns presented Obama with books on Churchill and silver photo frames for his daughters.

The Tories had their own meeting between Obama and David Cameron, at which the senator was overheard congratulating Cameron on ‘all your success’. The two spent 20 minutes chatting about juggling fatherhood and politics and discussing Afghanistan and the economy. Cameron gave him a box of CDs including albums by the Smiths, Radiohead and Lily Allen.

As if Obama has never read about Churchill. The first African-American president of the Harvard Law Review’s as well if not better educated than Brown himself. How condescending.

In any case Churchill died over 40 years ago; what possible new insights could yet another Churchill doorstop give Obama into the lives and aspirations of the British now? Dizzy Rascal says more about today’s Britain than any tired rehash of we shall fight them on the bloody beaches could – because what a prospective US president needs to know is what we are today, not what we were in 1945.

Cameron has been very shrewd in his gift. There’s nothing gives such illumination into the character of a nation than the music it produces. By contrast Brown’s gift of a history book looks leaden, clunky and old fashioned. Did anyone at No 10 stop to consider that someone campaigning as busily as Obama would never have the time to read books? On the other hand, we know he has an iPod.

But then there’s the other aspect of mixtapes – traditionally, they’re what you give someone you fancy or you want to impress. Those of us who were teenagers in the seventies will well remember the agonies of choice that went into making them. Too slushy? Too twee? Not obscure or cool enough? A bad segue or miscued track intro could ruin your lovelife for ever! The modern equivalent of a box of carefully chosen CDs is a gift that has resonance for Generation X and Cameron knows this.

He knows too that he must impress the potential US president if he wants some of that Obama stardust to rub off.

I expect he was impressed too – Cameron may be politically shallow but he’s a lot more tuned in to the zeitgeist than anyone New Labour or the Lib Dems can produce. Politically astute as well to give CDs rather than MP3’s, neatly avoiding any potential accusations of RIAA infringement by either party.

All of those CDs will have been chosen specifically to convey a message about Cameron, about the Tories and about the country. Like Obama, I grew up in the era of the mixtape, when choosing music to compile for someone was a minor exposure of the soul, unlike these days when people spew endless lists of their unedifying likes and dislikes all over the interwebs. By giving Obama music he likes Cameron is saying, here’s me, here’s us, this is what we British are about. I can relate to that and so I expect can Obama.

I’d really like to know the full list of albums in that box. There’s a meme to set running – which 10 albums would you give to Obama or McCain to express what they need to know about today’s Britain?

Freudian Slip

I meant to add a note about where Gordon Brown went on his holidays to the previous post on the malign influence of David Freud on government policy but forgot.

On the face of it Gordo’s hols look like real man-of-the-people stuff – he’s staying in Southwold in Suffolk – but look again:

But although Southwold appears to be a frugal break compared to Tony Blair’s trips to Sir Cliff Richard’s pad in Barbados and Robin Gibb’s Florida mansion, the town is about as trendy and upmarket as British seaside resorts get.

A four-bedroom “cottage” on the High Street is on the market for £900,000 and even the candy-coloured beach huts can set you back more than £30,000. With half the town peopled by outsiders – including many from London’s literary and artistic set – it’s known as Hampstead-on-Sea.

Try affording that on Incapacity Benefit.

More importantly Southwold’s full of Freuds and their friends and family.Southwold is no ordinary seaside town, it’s almost a Freud company town.

Gordo is staying ‘with friends’, apparently. I wonder what their name is?

Excuse me?

Gordon Brown, justifying the decision to send more British troops to Afghanistan:

He said: “We have resolved, first of all, as we did some years ago, that it is in the British national interest to confront the Taleban in Afghanistan or Afghanistan would come to us.”

Emphasis mine, obviously. The BBC doesn’t seem to have picked up on that, probably dismissing it as the usual New Labourite guff, but that little sentence is not just wrong, it’s despicable. This after all is the government that denied and still denies that the terrorist attacks on London in 2005 were caused by the misadventures in Iraq and Afghanistan, even when the terrorists themselves said that’s why they attacked. It’s therefore quite flabbergasting to hear a British prime minister now say that if they withdraw the Taliban will follow the troops home.

Even if this was true –and notice how many terrorist attacks Russia had to endure from the Muhajedin after their withdrawal from Afghanistan– it takes chutzpah to insist that because the British decided to help their friends in Washington occupy Afghanistan they have created so many enemies the government now has no choice but to continue the occupation, continue getting British soldiers killed for fear of reaping at home what they sow abroad. A special kind of logic is required to swallow that sort of rot — unfortunately the media seems to have no trouble swallowing…