Grand Old Paedophilia Party – Page 3

The GOP speaks

Published on October 26, 2009

Found via Alex, The GOP Speaks is a project to feel the pulse of the Republican Party on a local level, or more uncharitably, whether or not the craziness extents that far down. It only started on October 6th, the first post explaining its goals:

You’ve followed the national debate within the Republican Party about the political tactics it ought to use in an effort to better the country, retake Congress and challenge President Obama for the White House in 2012. But what do Republicans at the local level think?

To find out, I’ve started e-mailing a questionnaire to various Republican Party County Chairmen — ultimately I hope to reach them all.

As Alex says, it’s an interesting look into the autoritarian mindset.

Palin’s most important achievement? Beauty queen

Published on August 30, 2008

As our commenter of the day says, Palin is quite the trophy veep,
but it’s worse than that, as Brad Hicks explains:

Seriously, what in the fuck is it with John McCain and beauty queens? His first wife, Carol Shepp McCain, was a swimwear model. But she got into an automobile accident and became only normally attractive, so he cheated on her with a 17 years younger beauty pageant winner named Cindy Hensley, whom he ended up divorcing Carol for and marrying. Then she got to be middle aged and a little plastic looking, and what do you know, McCain starts being seen everywhere he goes with, and doing some potentially lucrative favors for, a cheerleader turned bribe lobbyist, named Vicki Iseman, who’s 13 years younger than Cindy. He gets outed on that, cuts off ties with her, and then a couple of months later (after viciously humiliating his wife in front of a group of bikers, to her face) he picks as his “running mate” yet another beauty pageant winner who’s almost half his age.

Is there even one woman, even one woman anywhere in his office, career, or personal life that he’s ever voluntarily associated with who hasn’t been a bikini model, cheerleader, or beauty queen? Or is that one of John McCain’s minimum qualifications for a woman to be worth being seen anywhere near him? Christ. Long family history in the big-ship navy, but no, he wants to be a fighter pilot, maybe be on the astronaut track — because fighter pilots and astronaut candidates get the hot chicks. He comes back from his tour of duty too uglied up (and, coincidentally, too retired from being a pilot/potential astronaut) to get the young fashion models and cheerleaders, so he miraculously ends up in the US Senate, and lands himself a good-looking heiress. She gets middle aged and he finds out that just being a Senator isn’t necessarily enough to attract the really hot babes, so he claws his way into an important committee chairmanship, so that lobbying firms will have to send him sexy women. That stops working, and now he wants to be President of the United States. For the love of all sacred gods, are we sure that John McCain has ever done anything in his entire life that wasn’t for the overtly creepy sexist reason of using his career to keep attracting sexy power-mad gold-diggers? Is that what this guy is all about?

To be honest, McCains simple if downright creepy horndogging and beauty queen fetish is a breath of fresh air compared to the usual perverse Republican practises. But just think what would happen if McCain did get to be president and then got caught with Palin doing a Lewinsky on him in the Oval Office. With a guy as unstable and prone to violent outburst as McCain, he would start a nuclear war with Iran to distract us, as the Republicans accused Clinton of doing in ’98…

PS I fixed your post. P

Even More Foley Jokes

Published on October 8, 2006

Just when you thought it was safe…. more of the gift that keeps on giving, this time from Bartcop:

“I have the latest in the big Washington sex scandal. … CNN is reporting that former Congressman Mark Foley’s instant messages were not only sexually inappropriate, but were also full of typos. In his own defense, Foley said, ‘It’s hard to type with one hand.'” –Conan O’Brien

“The good news? Florida Congressman Mark Foley has entered rehab. The bad news? Rehab is a 14-year-old boy from Pakistan.” –Jay Leno

“The big question now is what should be done with Mark Foley’s seat in Congress. I say, spray it with Lysol, boil it, coat it with Bactine, and then maybe you can sit on it.” –Jay Leno

“On Rush Limbaugh yesterday, Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert said, ‘We took care of Mr. Foley. We found out about it and asked him to resign.’ Yeah, a year later. That’s not just slow, that’s FEMA slow.” –Jay Leno

“After being caught sending explicit emails to underage boys, Florida congressman Mark Foley has resigned. So his seat is up for grabs, which is what got him in trouble in the first place.” –Jay Leno

“This is like the worst thing to happen to congressional Republicans since last Thursday. … Most people think GOP stands for Gay Old Pedophile.” –Jay Leno

[…]

“Apparently, new evidence that just came out shows that former Congressman Mark Foley once engaged in Internet sex with a former page while a vote was being taken in the House. … Apparently, instead of voting ‘Aye,’ Foley voted ‘Oh God yes!'” –Conan O’Brien

“Mark Foley has now checked into rehab for alcoholism. Oh, shut up. Like that’s the big problem. Who cares if he’s addicted to Jack Daniels? He’s addicted to little Jack and little Daniel. That’s the problem.” –Jay Leno

“Actually, this scandal with Foley has finally led to some bipartisan cooperation in Congress. For example, Republican leaders had to meet with Ted Kennedy to find out what’s the best rehab center.” –Jay Leno

“Have you all been following this scandal in Washington with ex-Congressman Mark Foley? Well, a couple of days ago, he checked himself into rehab. … It had gotten so bad he had to go out and develop a drinking problem.” –David Letterman

“The ex-congressman, if nothing else, is contrite. He says when he gets out of rehab, he wants a fresh start and to turn over a new page.” –David Letterman

“He spent most of his career protecting children from Internet stalkers. Turns out he was doing it so he could have them all to himself.” –Jon Stewart

“The big question, of course, for this congressman, who was an online sex predator to a 16-year-old, is — what drove him to it? . The sauce. Sad juice. Satan’s breast milk. Uncle Scotchy’s anger wrangler. The active ingredient in Nyquil. That’s why he did this thing. For if not for alcohol, it would have never crossed his mind. Mark Foley’s problem wasn’t that he drank, it was what he drank . Young Boyschlager. It’s got real bits of young boy in it. You don’t stand a chance.” –Jon Stewart

“It’s unbelievable the way the mainstream media is reporting this thing. Listening to them, you’d think it’s all Foley’s fault. Don’t you think the kids bare some of the blame here? Hear me out. Let’s be fair. How can a 53-year-old, six-term congressman hold out against the snares and seductive trickery of a high student from the rural South?” –Stephen Colbert

“He’s in rehab, which means it only happened because he was drinking. We’ve all done it folks — drunk dialing. It’s just that in Foley’s case, it was drunk texting erotic messages to underage pages about masturbation. … It’s simple. You drink, you forget things — especially things that could endanger minors.” –Stephen Colbert

“Apparently he had text message phone sex with a boy during a vote on funding for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. No one can say he’s soft on terror.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Former Florida Congressman Mark Foley has resigned over allegations he sent explicit emails to underage boys. What is it with Congress? If they?re not grabbing your wallet, they?re grabbing your ass.” ?Jay Leno

“How about that Florida congressman Mark Foley? Whoa. At least the Democrats wait until the interns are 18.” ?David Letterman

“The Republicans reacted quickly. They transferred Foley to a different parish.” ?David Letterman

“The Foley saga quickly sent leaders of the North American Man-Boy Love Association, or Congress, into action.” –Jon Stewart

[…]

More, much more, here. This one will outrun Les Mis.

Read more: Mark Foley Jokes

More Foley Jokes

Published on October 7, 2006

The Republicans can alternately squirm and insinuate, bluster and intimidate all they want to: this comedy’s going to run and run and run.

Why did Mark Foley resign? To get over his 16 year old crack habit.

What does Foley want to do when gets out of rehab? Start fresh and
turn over a new page.

And there’s these from TV:

“Former Florida Congressman Mark Foley has resigned over allegations
he sent explicit emails to underage boys. What is it with Congress? If
they’re not grabbing your wallet, they’re grabbing your ass.” Jay
Leno

“How about that Florida congressman Mark Foley? Whoa. At least the
Democrats wait until the interns are 18.” David Letterman

“The Republicans reacted quickly. They transferred Foley to a
different parish.” David Letterman

“The Foley saga quickly sent leaders of the North American Man-Boy
Love Association, or Congress, into action.” —Jon Stewart

“This is like the worst thing to happen to congressional Republicans
since last Thursday. … Most people think GOP stands for Gay Old
Pedophile.” —Jay Leno

“ABC is reporting that Mark Foley interrupted a vote on the House
floor, stopped the House floor vote, so he could have online phone sex
with a 16-year-old. Say what you want about Bill Clinton — he could
sit at his desk and have sex and work at the same time.” —Jay Leno

If public derision were any guide, the Republican congress would be dead in the water come November – Leno and Letterman are no flaming liberals. I even heard Richard Viguerie, Arch-conservative and money man, say on the BBC this morning using the ‘they’re not real conservatives’ argument that conservative voters should not vote for incumbent Republicans because of the Foley cover-up. I’m sure there’s more, much more to come out.

At the moment the media is concentrating on male pages and Republicans, but soon they’ll get jaded, remember who their paymasters are, and start looking for Democrats and female pages. The Democrats’d better be confident they have a clean house before they do.

Meanwhile we’ll feel free to yuk it up at the Right’s expense. British comedian John Oliver, on the Daily Show:

‘Everyone knows that Congress people are assigned to committees based on their great weakness. Why would Senator Ted Stevens, a man more comfortable in the horse and buggy era, be in charge of regulating the Internet? Which he believes is a series of tubes – ” a series of tubes though which other congressmen can reach through and fondle 16-year-olds.” ‘

No Child’s Behind Left

Published on August 25, 20061 Comment

The question “What’s the matter with Kansas?” is often asked by US liberals. Perhaps what they should ask is ‘what’s the matter with the religious right?’ Because it’s not confined to Kansas…

Pastor, his family accused of molesting children

Wife accused of assisting in religious ritual, prosecutor says

WASHBURN, Mo. – The minister of a rural Ozarks church, his wife and her two brothers have been accused of molesting young girls from their congregation for years, sometimes as part of a religious ritual, officials said.

The county prosecutor says the Rev. Raymond Lambert, 51, of Grand Valley Independent Baptist Church, repeatedly had sex with two underage girls with the help of his 49-year-old wife, Patty, according to court records.

For 10 years, the pastor told the girls, ?We are preparing your body for service to God,? the prosecutor said.

Read whole story…

Time and time again there are media reports of church officials and fundamentalist Christians being involved in organised abuse. Many of the perpetrators and alleged perpetrators have ties to or are actual Republican party operatives and politicians.

Even where no known abuse is known of there are still those in the Republican party who have serious issues with sex and violence.

If you think I exaggerate let’s revisit the list of Republican child sex offenders I posted a few months ago:

Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd was arrested on suspicion of soliciting sex with an 8-year old girl. Floyd has repeatedly won elections for Denton County, Texas, constable.

Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation. Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo was arrested for having sex with a 5-year old boy.

Republican teacher and former city councilman John Collins pleaded guilty to sexually molesting 13 and 14 year old girls.

Republican campaign worker Mark Seidensticker is a convicted child molester.

Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.

Republican Mayor John Gosek was arrested on charges of soliciting sex from two 15-year old girls.

Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.

Republican Committeeman John R. Curtain was charged with molesting a teenage boy and unlawful sexual contact with a minor.

Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.

Republican zoning supervisor, Boy Scout leader and Lutheran church president Dennis L. Rader pleaded guilty to performing a sexual act on an 11-year old girl he murdered.

Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor.

Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.

Republican racist pedophile and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child.

Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.

Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.

Republican advertising consultant Carey Lee Cramer was charged with molesting his 9-year old step-daughter after including her in an anti-Gore television commercial.

Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

It just goes on and on, doesn’t it? But wait, there’s more…

Republican Congressman Donald “Buz” Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail.

Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.

Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.

Republican activist Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child.

Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.

Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.

Republican Judge Ronald C. Kline was placed under house arrest for child molestation and possession of child pornography.

Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.

Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.

Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. “Republican Marty”), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with an underage girl and one count of delivering the drug LSD.

Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.

Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media.

Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was sentenced to jail after offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.

Republican talk show host Jon Matthews pleaded guilty to exposing his genitals to an 11 year old girl.

Republican anti-gay activist Earl “Butch” Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her.

Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.

Republican election board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl.

Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.

Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was found guilty of raping a 15-year old girl. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren, has allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women.

Read original post.

Ah fuck it, it’s too sickening to continue this rollcall of perverts. I think the pattern is sufficiently established. You can read the full list of sicko wingnut offences here.

What’s scary is that these are just the reported ones. How many women and children are suffering in silence? I’ve no doubt there’s been more since that was published and the list could be amended daily.

But here’s one Republican sicko that absolutely, definitely shouldn’t be left out:

Republican Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld authorized the rape of children in Iraqi prisons in order to humiliate their parents into providing information about the anti-American insurgency.

…and he did so on US citizens’ tax dollars.

Hmmmm. I wonder if the accused Misssouri pastor has any faith-based federal grants at that ‘church’ of his? How many other of these globs of human slime have committed offences on the taxpayer’s dime? (The question may be moot according to Republican Rep. ‘Bazoongas Katy’ Harris, who says there is no separation between church and state.)

So what conclusisons can we draw from this list? Is there something in the Republican version of christianity that breeds child molestors and sex offenders, or do the said offenders gravitate to the Republican party because it’s the party in power and power’s what they’re all about? If it were the Democratic party in control, would they join that instead? I wonder.

Which came first, the chickenhawk or the egg?

UPDATE: A child molestor can get elected, no problem. But be elected as an out lesbian and your own party can reverse the will of the electorate and nullify the result on atechnicality. Factor that one in when considering which party the misogynists and sex-obsessed gravitatate towards. Neither party’s hands are clean.