Don’t Look At This Link Till You Get Home

'...and then they lezzed up'
'...and then they lezzed up'

Oo-er Missus Wikicommons….

I was a bit shocked, I admit, when I found these pronographic cartoons (your mileage may vary) by 18th century satirist Thomas Rowlandson portraying our antecedents – how shall I describe it – doing what comes naturally, in colour and in great detail.

This collection of respectable (it’s Georgian, innit) wickedness has well over a thousand bookmarks on delicious alone, which is unsurprising given Rowlandson’s explicit lubriciousness. I’m only surprised it doesn’t have more. I haven’t checked Digg.

Me? I only came across it by accident whilst googling for satire and cartoon archives, I swear.

Though I knew his political cartoons such is my usual tunnel vision I had no idea Rowlandson had drawn pornography, or even that you could get such things on Wikipedia. That seems astonishingly naive of me given that well-thumbed (no, that is not a euphemism) copies of both Cleland’s Fanny Hill and Defoe’s Moll Flanders sit on my bookshelves: I’m not a modern-day Mrs. Grundy who tries to play down the Georgians’ robust attitude to sex.

But I wasn’t aware just quite how robust it was. After having seen Rowlandson’s naughty cartoons I’m not surprised that Austen’s heroines were always blushing.

I’ll never read her or Maria Edgeworth with the same eyes again. Where’s my copy of Castle Rackrent? I feel a re-read coming on.

ObDisclaimer

Emphatically Not Safe For Work or if you are a minor or in a repressive jurisdiction.

It really is very naughty indeed.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Tories and IT, A Match Made in Hell

“Ah, but is is she one of us”?*

This story about London Tories shooting themselves in both feet from Recess Monkey will drive anyone who’s still hoping the Conservatives under Cameron will one day step up, get rid of the current incumbents and just bloody fix things to hair pulling despair:

Carla Jones had a couple of hundred “friends” on Facebook. She’s a self-declared Conservative and was a member of various Conservative supporting Facebook groups.

That was until http://www.londonspinnews.com outed her as an under cover Mirror journalist looking for “dirt” on Conservatives’ Facebook pages.

Mass defriending, much twittering, then ritual denunciation on Tory blogs led to Carla Jones being subjected to a deluge of abuse and threats of that special, conservative kind:

This weekend a flood of CCHQ Press Office emails and text messages warned Tory politicians and activists nationwide of the sedition of Carla Jones and called on them to “de-friend” her or on Facebook.

Tory blogger of record Iain Dale posted a warning to readers, as did the usually level headed Shane Greer. A number of Tories changed their Facebook statuses to messages like, “…warns all CF members that “Carla Jones” is not a Tory at all, but an underhand hack from the Daily Mirror!”

Oooh, those pesky meedja whores, they get everywhere. Hurrah for London Spin News, fearlessly exposing the Evil MSM’s minions! Ah, but wait … fancy that, London Spin News turns out to be… a Tory PR guy’s fake news site, which he writes using a pseudonym from the ‘dole scum’ comedy Shameless. So droll! How they must’ve chortled at the Conservative Club bar!

But fair enough, no one likes a spy in their party and surely it’s reasonable enough to warn your fellow party members, isn’t it, even if you are a lying git yourself? Ah, but it gets worse…

Recess Monkey actually knows Carla Jones. We met at a Conservative Way Forward event at Tory Conference last year. And amusingly, she’s not only nothing to do with the Daily Mirror, but she’s a former CCHQ staffer…

Steven describes himself as a “former Vice Chairman at Exeter University CF where he quadrupled the membership and ran the 2005 election campaign across campus. He is an experienced PR consultant specialising in technology, business and financial services.”

So “experienced PR consultant” Steven George is using a fake ID to trigger the bullying and ostracism of a young woman on the grounds that she is using a fake ID – and in the process accusing the Daily Mirror of using underhand tactics to gain access to Tory facebook profiles…

A young woman who’s actually a colleague. Oops. It takes a perverse kind of PR talent to shoot both feet with both barrels at the same time.

Go read the whole thing; what I’ve quoted gives only the merest flavour of the bumbling incompetence. I’d laugh if it weren’t so bloody tragic; this shower of useless hoorays and failed bankers may just get elected, not because of but in spite of their lack of policies. We’re past caring, just get rid of Labour, enough already.

But if the Tories can manage to attack and destroy one of their own best activists with Facebook alone, can you imagine what they could do in power someone they don’t like, given control of RIPA or Contact Point? It doesn’t bear thinking about.

[*Explanation for those not quite so ancient as me]

In Which I Have Some Moral Qualms and Then Say Ah, What The Hell

I came across a hilarious collection of food essays from the North Star Writers Group – hilarious for all the wrong reasons – while idly googling for a recipe today. I did think of keeping it to myself as a personal treat, so beguiling is its dreadfulness; some sample titles:

Filo: Mankind’s Ticket to the Cosmos

and

Shatter Stability With Vegetables for Breakfast

But on the other hand I did think, that like the glorious McGonagle and Daisy Ashford , such inspired awfulness should be shared with the world.

But I didn’t want to appear to be deliberately holding someone up for public ridicule, although that is in effect what I would be doing. I’m one of those British hypocrites who can’t bear to think of themself as ever being unkind, though I frequently am.

Then Martin as usual cut through my wussy introspective crap and said, look, he’s put it on the internet, he wants people to read it, it’s all subjective and the feedback he gets is the feedback he gets. Besides, only a few people read this blog anyway, it’s not a very big public.

He’s right you know.Ah, what the hell. Enjoy.

Game Over

Chilling news for online gamers, or for anyone who identifies themself online, really:

Gamer arrested over computer link to knife murder of Matthew Pyke
David Brown

A German computer gamer is being questioned by police over the murder of a university student after an apparent argument on an online discussion site.

Matthew Pyke, 20, who was found stabbed to death at his home in Nottingham, ran a website with his girlfriend dedicated to discussing the computer strategy game Advance Wars.

Days after his body was found, a German gamer calling himself David Heiss sent a message to Mr Pyke’s girlfriend apologising for “having caused so much trouble lately”.

Though it hardly matters now if you are pseudonymous; even the neophyte knows how to use network tools and resolve an IP address these days, witness the continual harassment of left-wingers by Michelle Malkin’s troop of flying buttmonkeys and of antifascists by website Redwatch [no link; you want it, google].

I see the amount of sheer blinding rage unleashed in some online gamers when they play and I can well imagine that to feel such extreme anger could carry someone with a lot of their ego invested in the game (forum, blog or comment thread) right over the edge.

But aren’t online communities self-regulating by consensus? Well no, of course not, no more so than RL. Other gamers may have been egging this dispute on, in which case they also bear responsibility for Matthew Pyke’s death:

Detectives are investigating if another fan of the game may have fallen out with Mr Pyke in cyberspace and then taken extreme revenge in real life.

Mr Pyke also published science fiction on the Wars Central site using the name Shade, and Mr Heiss, 21, contributed to the discussion forum under the name Eagle the Lightning.

One anonymous poster on the site forum suggested that other members may have known who was behind the killing. “We may know a lot of what was going on prior to the killing, but I, for one, am not going to say any more,” he said.

Read More

Why I’m a Pirate Refusenik

Just as a matter of interest and if you hadn’t noticed the sudden outbreak of blogospheric “oo-arr”s and “avast ye lubber”s, It’s Talk Like A Pirate Day yet again, not that I celebrate it.

I don’t need to do a sad imitation of Joe Grundy’s Mummerset to join in teh general hilarity: I’m from the West Country, I talk like that all the time.

I’ve a good mind to get all offended.

According to Martin this is what I actually sound like: