On The Lam

Rowwr!

Re-entry, to the sounds of rain and hammering… election, what election? Is something happening? Sod that, we’ve got a kitchen to build!

Sorry for the sudden drop in posting, but we had to unexpectedly decamp to (what were supposed to be) warmer climes as the builders moved in the boiler went out and the heating and hot water went off.

It was bad enough manoeuvring 2 wriggling catboxes and our bags and baggage on and off high-stepped, double-decker Dutch trains, if only I hadn’t only a day later then managed to let our Hector escape into the scary midnight wilds of Zeeland, not to be seen again for three days.

It never occurred to me that a three-legged cat would make it down several flights of vertiginous, typically Dutch stairs, bumpety bumpety bump, without going totally arse over tip and landing in a tangled heap at the bottom.

I was wrong.

The trouble is, all horribly howling cats look the same in the dark and what I’d thought it was the resident deaf cat doing her usual midnight howl with a bit more gusto than usual was actually a horribly intestinally clenched Hector, determined to do his business in the proper outside and none of your namby namby litter tray business; that’s for girls. Once in the big outside the tempting scent of many tiny, nervous mammals went straight to his head and it was no more Mister Sleek City Cat, hello Hector, King of The Mighty Jungle!

So much for the brief, relaxing break we’d hoped for – instead, we got three days tramping the hedgerows and back gardens of a small market town in the south Netherlands, getting drenched and chilled through to the bone, looking for a cat who was having a very nice time thank you playing the mighty hunter, and who didn’t want to be found at all but only to miaow pathetically now and then from some inaccesssible spot so that we wouldn’t know how much fun he was having.

Glad he did. We had no fun at all. [Point of order: may I also note at this point that it really is bad manners and somewhat insensitive to continually complain like a fretful child (although you are 28) to someone who has a terminal illness, that you have one tiny degree of temperature and a bit of a sore throat?]

Nevertheless, chilled to the bone, exhausted and irritated beyond endurance as I have been, it’s as good a way as any to spend the run up to a presidential election. Better than listening to overpaid and overexposed pundits getting increasingly, nonsensically hysterical.

I should be thankful that at least I’ve been mostly spared the BBC’s Justin Webb, who’s all over the airwaves this morning desperately fighting to have McCain taken seriously, as if he can win now in any other way except by poll interference, a rearguard legal action a la Florida 2000 or the sudden appearance of a barking mad ‘lone wolf’ with a rifle.

You can hear the Republican talking points for the day echoed in Webb’s reports, just as loudly as he must be hearing the echoes of his career as Washington’s foremost British media suckup going down the tubes the closer that Obama’s election gets.

Hmm, I wonder how much of Webb continuing to assure viewers that McCain can still win (despite all evidence to the contrary) we’ll get on tonight’s overnight BBC election coverage?

One thing’s certain, there’ll be no shortage of rubbish spoken by all concerned: even without Webb, the BBC’s election commentary’s has become even more asinine now Lewis Hamilton is the World Formula 1 champion.

Potted R4 Today programme: “Obama is the new Lewis Hamilton! Hamilton is the new Obama! Look, they’re both black! That means something doesn’t it? Not sure what, but we’ll say it anyway!”

Oh God, I just had a horrible thought: once the results are in, how long before Campaign 2012 starts and the speculation over Palin’s potential presidential candidacy begins? I give it less than 24 hours.

I can’t stand it. I think I’d rather go back to the rain and the wet.

Sunday Morning Read

If you’re looking for the ‘awwww’ factor this morning and have a soft spot for cats (which of course you do, you’re reading this blog aren’t you?) try this lovely story by Gwen Cooper at Salon about Homer the world’s bravest eyeless cat, who fought off a burglar:

…There was some faint light streaming in through the blinds from the streetlights outside, but Homer was all black and eyeless, rendering him completely invisible. I could tell, though, that he was close by, somewhere on the bed. I sat up and reached over to flip on my bedside lamp.

The first thing I saw was Homer, standing in the middle of the bed, puffed up to about three times his normal size. His back was completely arched, and every hair on his body stood straight up, his tail bristled and stiff as a pipe cleaner. His legs were set wide apart, and although his head was tucked down low, his ears were at full attention. He moved his head and ears evenly from side to side with the precision of a sonar dish. His front claws were extended farther than I’d ever seen them, farther than I would have thought physically possible. His growl continued, low and unbroken—not completely aggressive yet, but a definite warning.

Beyond Homer, standing at the foot of my bed, was a man I’d never seen before in my life.

What happened next? Read the whole thing.

Lalalalala We’re Not Listening

A quarter of the world’s animals are going to die, the economy’s collapsing, oh woe is us; woe, woe and thrice woe. It’s all getting rather too apocalyptic for comfort. What to do? Panic? I don’t do panic. Gloom and depthless pessimism, yes, panic no, but what I’m best at is just shutting my eyes and pretending it’s not happening.

So this afternoon I’m hiding my head in YouTube and watching cute angry kittens and foxes on trampolines. Care to join me?

No! My cake! Angry kitten=cute. It’s an immutable physical law.

Foxes like to bounce? Really?

Yes really. So do cats:

and so do small yappy dogs and another cat and another yappy dog, but as Martin so rightly pointed out, anything done at double speed to Yakety Sax is funny.

Bonus clip: to end on a note of dramatic tension – will Kitty make it to safety before getting squatlicated by the window-cat?

Miaow, It’s Beezely Your Mailcat

What is it with cats and mail delivery? Does the smell of stamps attract cats or something?

Here’s another cat with an odd relationship with a postman, from China Daily:

Postman Terry Grinter is joined by his feline side-kick at least twice a week, in a scene reminiscent of the classic children’s television show.

Postman Not Pat
Postman Terry Grinter and his companion Beezly, who prefers sunny weather on the mail run. [Agencies]

In each episode of the BBC animated series, which first aired in 1981, Postman Pat is seen with his black-and-white cat Jess, as he delivers the mail through the valley of Greendale.

Mr Grinter’s companion, named Beezely, loves to ride in the basket perched in front of the handlebars of his bicycle as he makes his deliveries around Lyme Regis, Dorset.

Beezley started hitching a lift with Mr Grinter after the cat-loving postman befriended him. Now he hops into the basket of his own accord when Mr Grinter calls at his owner’s house.

Mr Grinter said: “People have said, ‘Don’t tell me he’s called Jess,’ because of Postman Pat’s cat, and I have to explain that he’s not even mine.”

“He likes sunny days – he’s definitely not a wet-weather cat.

“But he likes company and he knows that he will be made a fuss of.”

Awww…. but cats on bikes are not quite such a novelty as that here in Holland.