Temporary News Antidote

What a day.

Nothing soothes the frazzled pysche or wallet like kittens but with the news as it is the kittens’ll have to be tuned up to maximum cuteness. I’m up to the challenge and so is YouTube… take this, could this get any cuter? Look, it’s Puss In Boots!

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Awwww. Still not cute enough to get inflation and/or redundancy off your mind, at least temporarily? Maybe munchkin kittens will do the trick:

Still having thoughts of market chaos, systems unraveling and the economy going belly up? Time to break out the ferrets *and* the kitten *and* the paper bag….

Urgh. I just heard the market news. There’s only one thing for it. I have to go ballistic. I’ve been saving this up for exactly such on occasion. Ladies and germs, I give you the one, the only, ferret in a bunny hat:

If that doesn’t divert, even momentarily, then we really are all fucked.

Bonus clip:

Ninja kitten, going viral all over the place.

And They Said Catherding Was Impossible

They were wrong.

USA Today reports on the new trend for cat agility contests [slideshow of cats in action]

Agility contests for cats? It’s purr for the course

[…]

For pet owners stunned when their own cat deigns to jump off the kitchen counter in the same week she’s ordered to do so, the idea of an on-demand feline performance — in public, of all things — seems implausible.

But evidence is appearing at cat shows all over the world, and interest is growing.

“Many people show up at our events saying, ‘I heard there was cat agility, and I didn’t believe it. I had to come and see it with my own eyes.’

[…]

“This whole thing about cats being untrainable is ingrained in society, and it’s a myth,” Shields says. “Agility is all about showing how smart and trainable they are, the bond between cat and owner, and showing the cats in active, athletic ways that you don’t see when they’re posed and judged at shows. You can get chills watching the speed and coordination of some of these cats.”

And not so much with others.

“Some cats will get in there and then quickly decide ‘I’m just not doing that’ and sit in the middle and take a bath,” says Carol Osborne, a certified ringmaster for agility competitions put on by the Cat Fanciers’ Association.

About 40 shows will feature agility competitions this year, including two this month in Maumee, Ohio, and DelMar, Calif., and three in February in Portland, Ore., Oak Lawn, Ill., and Cincinnati.

“Some of the cats finished in two minutes, some didn’t finish at all, some got distracted in the middle and went off on their own adventures,’ says Bengal cat breeder Ree Hertzson, who saw her first agility competition at The International Cat Association show in Syracuse. “And the Persians would stop after a few seconds and lie around looking pretty.”

More…

I know exactly what our own cats would do if we tried this – Monty would be waiting in vain for noms and Hector would fart vilely from sheer nervousness, then bolt and hide under the bed. Sophie would rearrange the obstacles to her own prissy satisfaction, then put us through our paces – which leads me to wonder. Who’s doing the training here, the cats or the owners?

Mmmm. Kitteh-Fingers

If like me you watched the BBC’s Pacific Abyss programme last night you’ll be aware of the glory that is the South Pacific’s fish population. Also like me, you probably felt impotent fury at the expedition’s discovery of destruction of fish habitat and species decimation.

But if the fish disappear, it’ll be, paradoxically, partiallybecause of our love of animals – specifically our cats:

Spoilt Western cats endangering global fish supply

Cats with a fondness for gourmet meals are threatening fish supplies, an Australian scientist says.

Deakin University scientist Dr Giovanni Turchini has discovered an estimated 2.48 million tonnes of forage fish – a limited biological resource – is consumed by the global cat food industry each year.

“That such a large amount of fish is used for the pet food industry is real eye-opener,” Dr Turchini said.

“What is also interesting is that, in Australia, pet cats are eating an estimated 13.7 kilograms of fish a year which far exceeds the Australian average (human) per capita fish and seafood consumption of around 11 kilograms.

“Our pets seem to be eating better than their owners.”

I can’t even feel slightly smug; although I don’t eat fish at all, wild or farmed, and don’t buy fish for the cats, except for the occasional farmed-salmon, offcut-based wet food, even then I’m not off the hook, so to speak. Many dry catfoods contain fishmeal and bone, even the ones labelled things like ‘100% Fresh’ or ‘100% Natural, Human Grade’, or ‘100% Organic and Oven-Baked!’, or any of those other little codewords that appeal to the middle-class, ecologically aware cat lover. Like me.
Whole populations of wild forage fish like sardines and herrings are hunted almost to extinction by giant factory ships for this stuff. Buying these foods also adds to the enormous profits of giant international feed and commodity corporations – and commercial foods can kill.

The only ethical course I suppose is to feed them what I eat. Here kitteh, have a nicey mint imperial…

No, won’t work.

Last week I found myself paying 25 euro, twenty quid, for a bag of renal catfood for our Monty, who’s somewhere around 15 and slowly tottering towards eternity. I didn’t enquire what was in it: he’s our cat, he’s sick, we love him. And that’s the problem right there. Even someone who’s silly about fish, like me, is inadvertently contributing to their destruction in many different ways, inadvertent and not so inadvertent (see above).

There seems no way out of this dilemma – except to try and develop less self-indulgent, more utilitarian attitudes towards our pets. We can go aaah at tiny baa-lambs can’t we, and then happily eat a slice of the leg with a helping of mint sauce, or a kebab with extra shish, so why can’t we farm cats when the fish runs out? We’ll have to find something else to cover in breadcrumbs and feed to small humans when the oceans are empty – so why not the kitteh-finger?

Global Warming – Not All Bad

All this bonkin’, s’exhaustin’….

Knackered kitteh

From The Pendulum, Elon University’s Student Newspaper :

Global warming could be causing a kitten boom, experts say
by Alyse Knorr
July 25, 2008

WASHINGTON – Global warming and kittens. While it may seem hard to see the connection between the two – a climate phenomenon that melts glaciers and acidifies oceans, and cuddly, 4-ounce balls of fur – experts say there could be one.

Each spring, the onset of warm weather and longer days drives female cats into heat, resulting in a few months of booming kitten populations known as “kitten season.”

[…]

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