Blacked Out Face

I came across this poem, by Walter Otton, at Zippysite when idly googling, as one does. So I saved it for a day when a little poetry seemed appropriate. Which is most days, but particularly on a dull rainy Saturday.

Wally

Blacked Out Face:

Because I don’t want you to see my features
I’ve blacked out my face
I don’t want you to know my name
Or my school, my family or my dwelling place

My alcoholic dad ain’t around so much and

My mum likes a drink too
They have never taken me on holiday
Anyway, I couldn’t even spell ‘the Algarve’ or ‘Corfu’

Last August my flat burned down
Luckily no-one was hurt
I lost all my clothes and possessions
Every trainer, all my socks, each shirt

I moved into my sisters and stayed on the sofa
I slept on the cushions for thirty six weeks
I had a duvet and a sleeping bag
But I never had any fresh sheets

Older brother number one got a fifteen year old pregnant
Older brother number two is a little mad
He tried jumping out of a top floor window
Doctors sedated him in a cell covered in soft pad

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Aiee! Yog Sothoth!

It makes me quite sad to see such a magnificent creature trapped and killed, but finally a colossal squid has been caught intact for academic study. The gigantic 10m squid is believed to be the largest ever found, and here’s an eyewitness account from the trawler’s captain and an image gallery of the squid from The New Zealand Herald:

Captain who caught giant squid relives the moment

6:00PM Friday February 23, 2007
By Fiona Terry for NZPA

The skipper of the Nelson trawler that netted world’s biggest and best specimen of an adult colossal squid says it was a dream come true for him.

“I’ve been a fisherman for 30 years and have always dreamt about things like this,” said John Bennett, 48.

“I’ve read all the famous books like Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea, and this really was like something from fiction.”

He was fishing near Antarctica when the squid was hauled to the surface while dining on a toothfish hooked at a depth of about 1800m.

“It was awesome,” said the skipper of Nelson longliner San Aspiring.

He knew straight away he had caught something very special.

“I knew instantly what it was and that it was the biggest retrieved, because I caught the first one in the same area of the Ross Sea in 2002 and have an interest in keeping abreast with information from around the world.”

Nine crew took two hours to carefully envelop the near dead 10m-long squid in the ship’s cargo net using long poles, then to cradle it and lift it on board with a crane.

The crew thought it would not have survived, if released.

“To see one of these things up so close is a real privilege and I was concerned about preserving it in perfect condition for scientific research, allowing other people to see it and experience it as we had,” Mr Bennett said.

His wife Sue, 46, was also on the 70-day trip, and saw the colossal squid being retrieved, he said.

“We couldn’t imagine anyone catching a bigger more perfect one, especially because we were lucky that the sea conditions were ideal and beautifully calm.”

Freezing fog and a sea temperature of minus 1.5degC made the retrieval “quite tricky”.

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Baaaa

From The Register:

New Zealanders flock to AdultSheepFinder.com
‘The World’s Largest Sheep Sex Personals Community’
By Lester Haines
Published Wednesday 21st February 2007 13:38 GMT

New Zealanders are flocking to an exciting new online initiative aimed at connecting sheep fanciers with their perfect date – AdultSheepFinder.com (NSFW).

The ovine-lovers resource is evidently a big hit down there in NZ, with around 100 per cent of the current worldwide membership of 20,333 coming from the set of Lord of the Rings.

The site boasts:

With AdultSheepFinder you can meet sexy sheep in your area at the touch of a button!

Find the right sheep for you from our extensive database and try to arrange with their owners for a sexy encounter!

Explore the erotic lifestyle of millions of sheeplovers through our Nude Sheep Photos, we even have hundreds of Sexy Webcam Sheep online everyday!

Marvellous. Just to rub it in, the wags behind this bit of NZ-baiting offer only “New Zealand” in the drop-down list of countries in their “Search Our Members” facility, and further advise: “If you would like to know more about Sheep Shagging we can recommend the following literature- Lonely Planet – New Zealand Edition.

Enraged New Zealanders can spare themselves a whois search on the domain, since the perpetrators of AdultSheepFinder.com are keeping their heads well down. Which means, of course, that they’re almost certainly Australian. ®

FridayTuesday catoctopus blogging

How smart are octopussies? Smart enough to learn how to unscrew the cap from a glass jar to get at the crab placed inside in an hour:

How smart are octopi? We taught her this trick in about an hour. First you place an empty glass jar in her tank. Because they are so curious she will investigate it and realize it’s not a threat. Next, you place a crab inside the jar, but without a cover on it. She of course will see the crab and simply reach in and grab the food. Then you place the cover on the jar and barely turn to secure it. She’ll figure out that by twisting the cap a bit it will come off and she gets the food. Finally, you screw the cap on and let her go at it.

Be sure to watch the video at the link above. (Found via Avedon.)