Even Apeldoorn Bellen…

There’s not much joy to be had out of Dutch tv – it’s mostly turgid, incomprehensible soaps or mammothly dull talkshows, punctuated by a rotating series of about five ads, randomly interspersed with big-jawed women with unbrushed hair or a squint reading endless repeats of the provincial news. Either that or wall to wall music videos punctuated by sexline ads. Entertainment it ain’t.

But one bright spot is Apeldoorn’s Central Beheer insurance company’s hilarious series of commercials. All of these are SFW, except for the bonus clip, which is emphatically not.

You don’t need any Dutch to get this joke:

If you’ve been thinking about getting a tattoo – don’t watch this.

Sometimes there are very few advantages to being a minor sleb.

Bonus Clip [NSFW]

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Offensive? You Decide, Not Some Tight-Arsed Dutch Lawyer

Whatever your political, aesthetic or other views on his work cartoonist Gregorius Nekschot, like the rest of us, supposedly has the right to free expression of them, even anonymously – or at least the Dutch constitution and the European Convention on Human Rights say he does. Not so, say the Dutch government who arrested him with great fanfare this week even though he’s been publishing for years:

Insulting’ cartoons under investigation

By Philip Smet*

16-05-2008

The Dutch Public Prosecutor’s Office has announced that the cartoonist who works under the pseudonym Gregorius Nekschot was arrested for publishing ‘insulting cartoons’.

The cartoonist will not reveal his real name out of fear that Islamic extremists will seek revenge for the cartoons, many of which make fun of the Muslim religion.

It is extremely unusual for a Dutch artist to be arrested for his works. Justice Minister Ernst Hirsch Ballin says he does not believe the case has anything to do with suppressing free expression.

On Tuesday, Gregorius Nekschot was arrested at his Amsterdam home. The arresting force was made up of the magistrate, five police officers and three members of the Public Prosecutor’s Office. His home was searched and he was taken to a police station, where he refused to answer questions. That night he had to remain in the cell; he was released the next day.

Investigation
The complaint which Public Prosecutor’s Office is handling was made in 2005. The Public Prosecutor’s Office’s issued a press release saying:

“The investigation has revealed that a number of cartoons published on the internet were, according to our office, insulting to Muslims and to people of colour. Moreover, the Public Prosecutor’s Office believes the cartoons could inspire hatred.”

Gregorius Nekschot published his cartoons on his own website. Film producer and columnist Theo van Gogh, who was killed in 2004 by a Muslim extremist, also used to publish Gregorius Nekschot’s cartoons on his website. The cartoonist is known for his extremely insulting caricatures of religion and left-wing politicians. One of the reasons he was not arrested earlier is because he works anonymously – the Public Prosecutor’s Office says they simply couldn’t find him.

Personally I find his cartoons tasteless, vaguely insulting and not really that funny, but so is Viz and each to their own. Plus he was a friend of Theo Van Gogh that posthumously sainted arsehole, and therefore he partakes of at least some of that arseholery by association. But none of that negates his right to free expression, anonymously or otherwise. So why is Nekschot being prosecuted, except for political reasons? The Netherlands’ right wing Christian-led government wants insulting religion (theirs) to remain an offence. Therefore they feel compelled to conduct this show trial so as to not look partial.

I fail to see how these cartoons could be construed as fanning the flames of racial or religious hatred even if they do intend to offend and indeed do offend. It’s not as though they’re plastered on the sides of buses – you have to make an effort to go look at them, either on his website or in a book.

Polder Pundit has more on the legal arguments surrounding the arrest: I am, I think, theoretically breaking Dutch law even by linking to his website. [But the site is unavailable from this Dutch IP and I haven’t tried a proxy, can’t be arsed. Maybe someone can tell me whether it’s reachable from elsewhere?] Which is pretty ridiculous when a google image search gets you as many offensive Nekschot cartoons as you like.

But do I care if it’s illegal? Do I fuckery. As Polder Pundit puts it:

Seeing a cartoon where Mohammed sodomizes Anne Frank makes us wish we hadn’t, but it doesn’t change our feelings about either. The only thing it incites us to do is, again, to abstain from buying Nekschot’s books.

If something’s offensive let the public decide, not some up-themselves Dutch prosecutor with a name to make.