Sexuality – Page 16

More Foley Jokes

Published on October 7, 2006

The Republicans can alternately squirm and insinuate, bluster and intimidate all they want to: this comedy’s going to run and run and run.

Why did Mark Foley resign? To get over his 16 year old crack habit.

What does Foley want to do when gets out of rehab? Start fresh and
turn over a new page.

And there’s these from TV:

“Former Florida Congressman Mark Foley has resigned over allegations
he sent explicit emails to underage boys. What is it with Congress? If
they’re not grabbing your wallet, they’re grabbing your ass.” Jay
Leno

“How about that Florida congressman Mark Foley? Whoa. At least the
Democrats wait until the interns are 18.” David Letterman

“The Republicans reacted quickly. They transferred Foley to a
different parish.” David Letterman

“The Foley saga quickly sent leaders of the North American Man-Boy
Love Association, or Congress, into action.” —Jon Stewart

“This is like the worst thing to happen to congressional Republicans
since last Thursday. … Most people think GOP stands for Gay Old
Pedophile.” —Jay Leno

“ABC is reporting that Mark Foley interrupted a vote on the House
floor, stopped the House floor vote, so he could have online phone sex
with a 16-year-old. Say what you want about Bill Clinton — he could
sit at his desk and have sex and work at the same time.” —Jay Leno

If public derision were any guide, the Republican congress would be dead in the water come November – Leno and Letterman are no flaming liberals. I even heard Richard Viguerie, Arch-conservative and money man, say on the BBC this morning using the ‘they’re not real conservatives’ argument that conservative voters should not vote for incumbent Republicans because of the Foley cover-up. I’m sure there’s more, much more to come out.

At the moment the media is concentrating on male pages and Republicans, but soon they’ll get jaded, remember who their paymasters are, and start looking for Democrats and female pages. The Democrats’d better be confident they have a clean house before they do.

Meanwhile we’ll feel free to yuk it up at the Right’s expense. British comedian John Oliver, on the Daily Show:

‘Everyone knows that Congress people are assigned to committees based on their great weakness. Why would Senator Ted Stevens, a man more comfortable in the horse and buggy era, be in charge of regulating the Internet? Which he believes is a series of tubes – ” a series of tubes though which other congressmen can reach through and fondle 16-year-olds.” ‘

Nice Shoes, Though

Published on September 12, 2006

I’ve come across this item at a number of places now and I’m not quite sure whether to find this Vogue Italia fashion photospread, “State of Emergency’ by Steven Meisel, wryly amusing or a little sick.

I hope it’s meant to be transgressive, a satire on the current security theatre being staged by western governments and a protest against the contnuing erosion of human rights.

But think about where it’s published – Vogue is no samizdat rag. It’s a Conde Nast publication. Vogue exists to sell product for its intertainonal corporate advertisers – if it doesn’t make money, it’s gone.

I’d like to think Meisel’s intent was to comment on the increasing corporate invasion of aour personal and bodily privacy and particularly that of women’s bodies. But this photo-spread of degrading and humiliating images of women is also highly sexualised. It’s meant to be a turn-on and an homage to women’s prison porn, and ultimately to sell to as many consumers as possible.

My real problem with it is that if it’s in Vogue, it becomes an acceptable image, just as several of the Abu Ghraib pictures have. Even five years ago a major newspaper or news magazine would not have printed them, deeming them too extreme. Now such brutal images are common currency.

This is how, quietly, fascism becomes accepted as normality.

No Child’s Behind Left

Published on August 25, 20061 Comment

The question “What’s the matter with Kansas?” is often asked by US liberals. Perhaps what they should ask is ‘what’s the matter with the religious right?’ Because it’s not confined to Kansas…

Pastor, his family accused of molesting children

Wife accused of assisting in religious ritual, prosecutor says

WASHBURN, Mo. – The minister of a rural Ozarks church, his wife and her two brothers have been accused of molesting young girls from their congregation for years, sometimes as part of a religious ritual, officials said.

The county prosecutor says the Rev. Raymond Lambert, 51, of Grand Valley Independent Baptist Church, repeatedly had sex with two underage girls with the help of his 49-year-old wife, Patty, according to court records.

For 10 years, the pastor told the girls, ?We are preparing your body for service to God,? the prosecutor said.

Read whole story…

Time and time again there are media reports of church officials and fundamentalist Christians being involved in organised abuse. Many of the perpetrators and alleged perpetrators have ties to or are actual Republican party operatives and politicians.

Even where no known abuse is known of there are still those in the Republican party who have serious issues with sex and violence.

If you think I exaggerate let’s revisit the list of Republican child sex offenders I posted a few months ago:

Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd was arrested on suspicion of soliciting sex with an 8-year old girl. Floyd has repeatedly won elections for Denton County, Texas, constable.

Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation. Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo was arrested for having sex with a 5-year old boy.

Republican teacher and former city councilman John Collins pleaded guilty to sexually molesting 13 and 14 year old girls.

Republican campaign worker Mark Seidensticker is a convicted child molester.

Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.

Republican Mayor John Gosek was arrested on charges of soliciting sex from two 15-year old girls.

Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.

Republican Committeeman John R. Curtain was charged with molesting a teenage boy and unlawful sexual contact with a minor.

Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.

Republican zoning supervisor, Boy Scout leader and Lutheran church president Dennis L. Rader pleaded guilty to performing a sexual act on an 11-year old girl he murdered.

Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor.

Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.

Republican racist pedophile and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child.

Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.

Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.

Republican advertising consultant Carey Lee Cramer was charged with molesting his 9-year old step-daughter after including her in an anti-Gore television commercial.

Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

It just goes on and on, doesn’t it? But wait, there’s more…

Republican Congressman Donald “Buz” Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail.

Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.

Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.

Republican activist Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child.

Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.

Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.

Republican Judge Ronald C. Kline was placed under house arrest for child molestation and possession of child pornography.

Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.

Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.

Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. “Republican Marty”), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with an underage girl and one count of delivering the drug LSD.

Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.

Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media.

Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was sentenced to jail after offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.

Republican talk show host Jon Matthews pleaded guilty to exposing his genitals to an 11 year old girl.

Republican anti-gay activist Earl “Butch” Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her.

Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.

Republican election board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl.

Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.

Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was found guilty of raping a 15-year old girl. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren, has allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women.

Read original post.

Ah fuck it, it’s too sickening to continue this rollcall of perverts. I think the pattern is sufficiently established. You can read the full list of sicko wingnut offences here.

What’s scary is that these are just the reported ones. How many women and children are suffering in silence? I’ve no doubt there’s been more since that was published and the list could be amended daily.

But here’s one Republican sicko that absolutely, definitely shouldn’t be left out:

Republican Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld authorized the rape of children in Iraqi prisons in order to humiliate their parents into providing information about the anti-American insurgency.

…and he did so on US citizens’ tax dollars.

Hmmmm. I wonder if the accused Misssouri pastor has any faith-based federal grants at that ‘church’ of his? How many other of these globs of human slime have committed offences on the taxpayer’s dime? (The question may be moot according to Republican Rep. ‘Bazoongas Katy’ Harris, who says there is no separation between church and state.)

So what conclusisons can we draw from this list? Is there something in the Republican version of christianity that breeds child molestors and sex offenders, or do the said offenders gravitate to the Republican party because it’s the party in power and power’s what they’re all about? If it were the Democratic party in control, would they join that instead? I wonder.

Which came first, the chickenhawk or the egg?

UPDATE: A child molestor can get elected, no problem. But be elected as an out lesbian and your own party can reverse the will of the electorate and nullify the result on atechnicality. Factor that one in when considering which party the misogynists and sex-obsessed gravitatate towards. Neither party’s hands are clean.

It’s All About The Tubesteak

Published on August 23, 2006

The Guardian’s Oliver Burkeman reports in G2 on the Burger King Quad Stacker and the recent US phenomenon of ‘politically incorrect’ fast food. In a generally interesting post Burkeman takes several paragraphs to expound on received wisdom from fast food industry insiders and food pyschologists on portion size expectations, before he gets to the money paragraph:

[…]

Of course, you could argue that there is a refreshing honesty in products such as the BK Stacker Quad – it’s a fatty pile of meat, and doesn’t pretend otherwise – and there’s some evidence that this approach is gaining a foothold elsewhere in the consumer economy. The best example is probably a US television ad for Hummer, the manufacturer of preposterous, lumbering, military-style SUVs, which non-owners like to explain as compensating for their owners’ feelings of inferior manhood. (You can watch the ad online at tinyurl.com/mea23.) In the first scene, a man is at the supermarket checkout, buying tofu, carrots and soy. A second man arrives in the queue behind him, with a trolley full of meat and barbecue supplies.

The first man, looking queasy and insecure, completes his purchase, then immediately drives to a Hummer dealership, where he buys a massive new vehicle. “Restore the balance”, the on-screen slogan reads. The man drives off, secure at last in his masculinity.

[…]

Read whole article…

Oy. Refreshing honesty? Hardly. Try deep political cynicism

Is there anything in the US marketing strategy playbook that isn’t about male impotence? It seems to me that the ad, the product it promotes and its competitors from the likes of Hardees are precisely micro-targeted. The fast-food chains certainly know their constituency – male Bush voters and wingnut bloggers, NASCAR Dads and Fox News viewers – and they’re blatantly and cynically taking advantage of the idiocy diplayed therein to to boost the profits of a flagging industry.

Hardees even sells a Low-Carb Thickburger ( see below) to which the only reaction is – WTF?

Description: The Low Carb Thickburger maintains the same substantial 1/3-pound Angus beef hamburger patty as the original, but varies slightly in toppings. In order to reduce the amount of carbs, the bun was removed and the burger is served wrapped in iceberg lettuce leaves. The amount of ketchup was also reduced. The burger is also topped with mustard, mayo, cheese, tomato, red onion and dill pickles. The result is 49 fewer grams of carbohydrates.

The Hardee’s Low Carb Thickburger is served in a paper “half wrap” and comes in its own cardboard carton, both of which make eating a lettuce-wrapped, bunless burger a much easier task than would be the case with typical fast-food packaging.

And how many calories? Doesn’t matter. It’s meat – and more meat = bigger penis according to the market metrics.

This is the Viagra strategy, which Falafel Bill O’Reilly, Fox News, and many other low-rent products use to great effect. It works – so why shouldn’t it work for fast-food?

All you wannabe Instawankers rolling up to the drive thru in your stars ‘n bars-tricked-out, fat-tyred pickups – yeah you, you who think that by eating a squashed, oozing mountain of industrial fats glued together with cow-tails, hooves, and testicles you’re bucking the liberal trend and striking a blow for the little (in all senses of the word) man… Hey Sucker! You’ve been had, but you won’t really know it till your first heart attack, when you can’t afford healthcare.

I have to say that thing looks bloody vile. With all that dripping fat I’d be heaving before I got my second mouthful down.

But then I don’t have a tiny penis.

Fist of Fun (damentalism)

Published on June 22, 2006

I wouldn’t usually link to Atrios as he has plenty of linkage already and doeesn’t need our paltry contribution to his hit-count, but this one’s a real doozy.

It came up in the context of Ann Coulter, though you may wish to find the industrial-size Q-tips to floss your brain out after contemplating Coulter and fisting in the same paragraph.

It’s definitely, positively NSFW if your colleagues or workmates read over your shoulder.

Fisting and God’s Will

Over and over in the scriptures, the hand and fist of God are described as a symbol of His awesome power and the means through which this power manifests: “O God, God of our ancestors, are you not God in heaven above and ruler of all kingdoms below? You hold all power and might in your fist.? (2 Chronicles 20:6)

[…]

The biblical significance of the hand is important, because in the act of fisting, one partner (usually male) inserts his entire hand and fist into the vagina or rectum of his partner. Rather than copulating with his penis, he penetrates her with his fist. Given the powerful symbolism of the fist, it is no surprise that couples who have partaken in the practice of fisting have described it as being a profoundly spiritual experience.

[…]

Powerful Yet Gentle

In the Song of Solomon, the Bible describes the act of fisting and the profound erotic bliss it induces: It is the voice of my beloved! He knocks, saying, “Open for me, my sister, my love, My dove, my perfect one??My love thrust his hand through the opening, and my feelings were stirred for him. (Song of Solomon 5:2-4) Here we see the lover gently coaxing his companion to open up to him, metaphorically ?knocking at her door,? preparing her sexually and emotionally to receive his hand inside her.

Read the whole thing

FFS, people, if it feels good, just do it. The pre and -post-facto religious rationalisations are unnecessary excep to assuage your own buttoned-up guilt, and besides, you’re fooling no-one dressing it up in religious drag. Get over yourselves.

Sad, sad fuckers. Up yours, fundies.