Make Like A Boy Scout

Hmm, Monday, what shall I do this week?

ARCAM is somewhere I plan on visiting if I’m feeling up to it this coming week (it’s just across the river from us at the Osterdok) in the light of the horrendous rain and the awful disaster-movie-in-slow-motion flooding of swathes of western and central Britain. Now there’s no water or power in some areas too, with 3650,000 affected.

A floating house begins to appeal…

The summer months at Arcam will be given over to the theme of acquatic building in Amsterdam. ARCAM is devoting its attention, in exhibition and book form, to the history of life on boats and barges, and to future prospects for floating construction.

Besides floating homes, the topics include a theatre on the IJ waterway, motorways on pontoons, a church ship, a public library and waterborne gardens. Among Amsterdam examples are the floating housing on Ijburg, plans for floating neighbourhoods on the Ijmeer lake and a floating hostel in the Houthavens area.

There are ecoboots moored on the Noordercanal not too far from us too and they do look pretty incredible (I’ll take some pics and post them later) but they’re not cheap at around 325,000 euro plus associated costs. It’s not a poor person’s answer unless they start building floating rental apartment blocks. It’s unsurprising that most of the current work on them is being done in trendy Ijburg.

Even though NL iis probably the most well-prepared country in the world to resist a sudden indundation, this weather is something new, though we can hardly call it unexpected. Over the past month or so I’ve been looking at the satellite maps and radar every day and you can see clearly that the jet-stream has moved south and moist air is continually being sucked into a deepening weather pattern over NW Europe. There’s a good animation of the past 12 hours of Western European weather at Freie Universität Berlin here and you can see it quite clearly even if like me you’re just an amateur.

It just squats there like a great ominous toad, sucking in arctic moisture, dropping it over NW Europe, drenching us and holding a stationary purgatorial heatwave over the Eastern Europe, the Balkans and Greece, who are suffering mightily. Now they’re on fire and you can see the smoke from space:

I don’t know about you but I’m torn beteen being scared shitless at the way the climate is going, or alternatively just turning my brain off, sticking to keeping my health stable, looking after my family, growing tomatoes and feeding the cats.

The latter seems the sensible course, especially since the climate has reached the point of no return and there’s really nothing we as individuals can do to reverse it: I refuse to feel guilt about this any more, especially not when those silly, blind, venal buggers in China are seeding the clouds to stop it raining on the Olympics – even as their fellow citizens alternately drown and burn.

In light of this, all this carbon-neutral bollocks and exhorting us all to change our lighttbulbs is like sticking a bloody smiley bandaid on a multiple organ failure.

I’m trying hard to be resigned and philosophical about it all, but it gets a bit difficult when the water and the flames are lapping at your neighbours’ doorsteps.
The least I can do is make sure we’re prepared should it happen to us: if nothing else the UK floods have shown that despite the heroic efforts of the emergency services, when it comes down to it, we have only ourselves to rely on. So put your own emergency kit together as much as possible, as recommended by the Red Cross:

Heat and lights:
— Candles
— Extra batteries
— Fireplace logs
— Flash lights
— Matches

Health and safety (including food safety):
— Anti-bacterial hand gel and baby wipes
— Appliance thermometer and food thermometer
— First aid kit
— Paper towels
— Re-sealable baggies and garbage bags
— Vitamins, minerals and protein supplements

Food and food preparation:
— Bottled water (estimate 1 gallon per day per person, plus extra for food prep and hygiene)
— Fresh fruits and vegetables
— Nonperishable foods
— Canned meats, chicken and fish
— Canned chili, spaghetti, stew and vegetables
— Granola bars, trail mix and nuts
— Canned fruits and juices
— Evaporated or dry milk
— Instant soups
— Cereals and crackers (low-salt variety, so you don’t crave extra water)
— Baby food and formula
— Pet foods and supplies
— Special dietary items
— Peanut butter and jelly (look for serving-size packages that don’t require refrigeration)
— Hard candy, chocolate bars
— Disposable plates and utensils
— Manual can opener

Other necessary supplies include:

Communications:
— A battery-powered AM-FM radio, weather radio and batteries
— A land-line or corded phone
— A list of emergency phone numbers, including numbers for the power, gas and water companies.
— Backup plans in case family members are separated during an emergency. Designate a contact person who is not a member of your immediate family and with whom everyone can check in.

Odds and Ends:
— A list of dry ice suppliers (about 15 to 20 pounds of dry ice will keep temperatures in most freezers or refrigerators low for up to 24 hours)
— Frequently used medicines
— Blankets
— Prescriptions
— Eyeglasses
— Battery-operated lantern and batteries
— A wind-up or battery-powered clock
— Warm blankets
— Fuel for space heaters. Be certain to store this safely.
— Blankets

I was gobsmacked at the number of people on Friday who just went about their business commuting, or going on holiday, even though there were flood alerts and severe weather warnings and travel guidance given out – and who did so totally unprepared. I’ve every sympathy with those caught for hours on a motorway with no food or drink or toilets, but bloody hell, wake up people, are you living in a fog? You can’t say you weren’t warned not to travel.

Many of the afflicted seemed to think that a magic hand would come down from the sky and save them and in some cases, it did. But mostly not – it’s been down the flooded and their neighbours to cope. The emergency services have been at full stretch and the armed forces are fucked and can’t back them up; cheers Mr Gordon Briown.

Hillary Benn, who you’d think was in charge, has been worse than useless, clucking and fluttering around like a particularly ineffectual wet hen. It’s taken Gordon Brown 3 days to convene an emergency cabinet committee. Heaven forbid ministers’ family holidays should be delayed…

I hesitate to compare what’s happened in Britain this weekend to Hurricane Katrina, (the two are on entirely different scales) but there are things in common if you ignore those differences in scale: both climate-change-fuelled events have highlighted just how fast and how quickly the infrastructure of civil society can fail and both also have shown the complacency and lack of preparation of everyone, residents included.

Katrina and it’s aftermath showed US citizens that it’s folly to rely on a central government that has been hollowed out by ideology, privatisation, cuts, political corruption and plain inertia. When called to do their job, FEMA just weren’t there.

Ditto New Labour.

But even given their culpability, even if officialdom had been there, sometimes it seems as though people expect the impossible from the frontline respoinders in the emergency services.

I don’t know what it is – we seem to have a collective delusion that should there be a natural disaster somehow it’s all going to turn out all right and the good guys will come riding to the rescue. Er, no. That’s Hollywood. Life is not like that.

The thing about the emergency services is they have to be paid and equipped and housed even when not needed, and we don’t seem to want to pay to do that. In any case, they’re not superhuman – they can’t stop disasters, they can only help ameliorate their effects and if these types of disasters occur more frequently, as is predicted, what few emergency services we have will soon become exhausted.

So I’m going to make sure we have emergency supplies, clean water and flashlights and the rest; because if I were to get a stomach bug or not have anything to drink my kidneys’d give out in a day or so and I’d die. It’s down to me, as it is to everyone, to ensure my own survival in a crisis.

So make like a boy scout or girl guide or brownie (I’ll go for brownie, the uniform’s my colour) – and be prepared.

Once A Whore…

Guess who wrote this in Forum magazine before he was famous?

‘a little known aphrodisiac – the dangling pipes of Scotland…It’s all tongues and teeth, lips and gentle squeezes..As I lie on a Lisbon hotel bed next to a Portuguese person crying out for more, I thank my pipes for doing most of the chatting up.’ So nothing autobiographical going on there, except in my dreams. I do so love a slut’

… and said this to The Sun twenty-odd years ago?

On the subject of being a gigolo, Alastair apparently appeared in a 1980 article in The Sun (so it must be true) headlined ‘WANTED, Men For Hire’, in which he said, “you would talk, have dinner, make love; in return they would give you money or gifts…It’s never hard work but the women do expect a high standard of performance.

Yup, it’s the Pepys de nos jours, Alistair Campbell. And he called Carole Caplin a flake and a liability…

Bad Guido, No Biscuit

A musical viral mobile phone video of Gordon Brown eating his own snot is doing the rounds at the moment, courtesy Guido Fawkes.

Put http://www.messagespace.co.uk/bogeyman/bogeyman.3gp into your phone or PDA browser, or if online now click here to launch a RealPlayer window.

Looks better on the phone though. If nothing else you’ll be earwormed with Kylie all day.

Bush Offered To Kiss Blair’s Ass

.

.. or so it was said on the BBC lunchtime news. There are more sordid revelations from the diaries of Alistair Campbell (Tony Blair’s very own Karl Rove/Tony Snow combo, but with added arrogance) to come.

The BBC is having a wonderful time reviewing his memoirs, finding as many ways as possible to damn it without sounding as it is (and fooliing no-one) while still featuring excerpts on its tv channels.

But who can blame the beeb after Dr David Kelly’s death, when the resulting Blair-appointed Hutton enquiry gave the BBC such an unjustified hammering that its chair Greg Dyke had to resign?

In a thirty- minute radio interview this morning Campbell showed he has absolutely no sense of probity or indeed any of the principles that most of us would consider a virtue in government. He also showed he has no concept of history other than that he understands that history is written by the winners, and he plans to be a winner – so he’s making his own retrospective reality, rewriting history in his own favour, just as he once rewrote the present on the orders of Bush as transmitted by Blair.

Campbell did so much damage to the country I hate to see him make money out of it. The diaries have apparently been filleted of all the interesting stuff but the bare bones and a few shreds of salaciousnesss. Cherie threatend to sue if he mentioned her children, and the diary’s been vetted by government before publication, so it’s hardly goihg to be revelatory.

Nevertheless I intend to read it, but I’ll wait. I’ll watch the tv version and it’ll be online soon enough. Why should I add to that slimeball’s profits?

Fire and Rain

More devastating than any carbomb

I haven’t blogged over the past weekend because, as have most other Britons, I’ve been following the news about the attempted bombings in London and the incendiary attack on Glasgow airport. From a media junkie’s perspective alone it was an event of note – the photos, posted almost as it was happening, were incredible. And it made a change from the endless rain and floods.

But setting sheer news value aside for the moment I’m sure I can’t be the only one whose first reaction was “How very convenient for Gordon Brown – bloody typical Labour PR stunt, an ‘attack’ in his first week so he can act the calm, resolute leader.” In the light of so many scandals bubbling under, these latest outrages seems all too horribly convenient. Or something very like that.

Two remarkable things happened in the last two days within half a mile of each other, at either end of Piccadilly. One, the car bomb, you have probably heard of. The second you probably haven’t.

This is a straight reproduction of a small article from The Metro newspaper, Friday June 29, 2007
“Mossad Spy” Found Dead

An Egyptian financier accused of spying for Israel has been found dead outside his London home in mysterious circumstances. Ashraf Marwan was alleged to have worked for Israeli intelligence agency Mossad during the 1973 Yom Kippur war with Egypt and Syria. He was accused of tipping Israel off about the war. Police said “He appears to have fallen from a balcony. The death is being treated as unexplained.” The 62 year old son-in-law of former Egyptian president Gamal Abdel Nasser was found on Wednesday in St James’s, Central London.

The fact that these two incidents are less than ten minutes walk apart does not make them connected. They may or may not be. But I note this, and the list above, to help those who have difficulty imagining that there is any need to consider any possibility other than Islamic terrorism to explain the apparent Haymarket car bomb. Astonishing things do happen in London.
More…

Even the fact that there were (mercifully) no fataiities seems to support conspiracy, such are the depths of cynicism to which New Labour has brought us, with its exaggerations, lies and ridiculous security theatre.

So I fully expected the usual flurry of hyperbolic government press releases and a rash of pointless security crackdowns – No cars within 5 miles of an airport! Exclusion zones around London nightclubs! Round up the usual suspects!- but surprisingly. it hasn’t happened, although the tabloids have been doing their best to whip up public panic. On the whole the government’s response has been unexpectedly rational.So my initial reaction was tempered somewhat by the lack of hoohah.

But now I just don’t know what to think; the pendulum is swinging wildly as new facts emerge.

Peiple have been arrested already, which is good, well done police – but isn’t that speed of arrest in itself suspicious? Then it turns out the arrestees are not British and several are on the run – one is a middle-eastern doctor – and the pendulum swings the other way.

Could this be Saudi money funding terror plots as payback for BAE? Who knows? The policing of terrorism is an area where truth has historically been a shifting thing, construed according to the political expediency of the moment. Consider Lockerbie, for instance.

I will give the new Home Secretary Jacqui Smith credit, though and not just because she’s female. She has managed to come over as calm and competent in stark contrast to her predecessor John Reid, who took trouble to be as threatening and unpleasant in demeanour as possible to mask his essential incompetence and weakness.

(But if you think she’s a real change, don’t – as Chief Labour whip, Smith has been responsible for enforcing MP’s compliance in voting for all Blair’s plans. When it comes to Iraq, she’s up to it in her neck, just like her new boss.)

I just don’t know what those attacks were all about, and neither does anyone else except those involved. Conspiracy or actual attack? Does it really matter? It’s all distraction. It’s the effect that aimed at that’s important, whoever’s responsible, and the anticipated response to the attacks was fear. So I am glad to see that people don’t seem to be giving into it, despite ridiculous headlines like ‘Britain Under Seige’ from rightwing redtops like the Daily Mail.

I mean bloody hell, we’re the generation that grew up under the constant threat of nuclear annihilation and IRA violence, when there was a bomb a week and you couldn’t go to a city centre pub without fear of immolation, when planes were regularly hijacked and an Olympic team was massacred. Remember the coach full of military families blown up on the motorway? The IRA, ETA. Red Brigade, Fatah – those were household names. Oh, we took precautions: remember when the streets became a public rubbish dump when all the bins were sealed after Bishopsgate to stop bombs being hidden in them? But life went on. This is nothing. We will not succumb to US-style pissypants crybabyism.

Gordion Brown’s certainly been trying to make the most of it: you could see him yesterday being given the solemn-faced, dramatically-lit interview by Andrew Marr, heavily powdered to hide his 5 o’ clock shadow, three-quarter-posed for the camera so as to look statesmanlike, jowls wobbling with suppressed ’emotion’, doing his best to come over as the solid rock of sanity in a crisis. (Haha. Ahahhahahahaha.)

When I see him do that, the pendulum swngs back towards conspiracy again. But then I remind myself, these attacks are nothings. They’re mere squibs. Whoever’s responsible for this latest bit of terrorist agitprop, a few mad individuals or a grand organised conspiracy, it really doesn’t matter. We need to treat the ‘war on terror’ as the sideshow it is. We’ve got a real threat facing us and it’s bigger than any government plot or terrorist outrage.

The UK in 2050, projected

Europe

To fly from the UK to Italy last week was like crossing continents: Britain’s cold rain gave way to suffocating heat and a ferocious scirocco, the hot Saharan wind, in Sicily. The Fiat car plant was closed after employees refused to work in the heat. Fires were burning in southern Italy, with Calabria (24 blazes) and Puglia (22) worst affected. In Greece, seven people have died. Firefighters and soldiers are battling a fire which has destroyed much of Mt Arnitha National Park, and threatens Athens. Peter Popham

Australia

From the worst drought in a century to the worst floods in decades, Australians are wondering what will come next. Severe storms have battered the east coast, causing major flooding in New South Wales. In the low-lying Gippsland region of Victoria, hundreds of people had to abandon homes and businesses at the weekend after rivers burst their banks. Helicopters rescued residents as floods engulfed houses, barns and paddocks, leaving cattle stranded. Floods have also hit the Newcastle area, north of Sydney, leaving nine people dead. Another attempt is being made to refloat the Pasha Bulker, a coal freighter swept on to a sandbank just off a Newcastle beach three weeks ago.Kathy Marks

Americas

The first days of summer in the United States have seen fire and water combine with devastating effect. Wildfires around Lake Tahoe, California, have consumed more than 250 homes. Fire chiefs predict that the week-old fire should finally be brought under control by tomorrow. Boston broke high temperature records on Wednesday while black-outs in a sweltering New York City stranded a quarter of a million commuters. Meanwhile Texas and Oklahoma, until recently struggling with drought, have been hit with record rains and widespread flooding. Storms in the southern plains left 11 people dead.David Usborne

[…]

The world over, people are getting the message that the planet is ailing. Results last week from an unprecedented poll in 46 countries by the US-based Pew Research Centre showed environmental degradation is the number one concern of people around the world, eclipsing worry even about nuclear attacks, ethnic rivalries or Aids.

“It’s going to get worse before it gets better,” says David Masur, director of PennEnvironment, an environmental advocacy group in Pennsylvania. “We’re not even at the tipping point yet, in terms of the worst of the worst.”

More…

British people have had a taste of the real danger themselves this past week and they don’t like it. About 27,000 homes and 5,000 businesses have been affected by flooding and storms with insurers estimating the cost at over a billion pounds.

It’s gradually sinking in (if you’ll excuse the pun) that we’ve got much more imminent threats to worry about than car-bombing.