Don’t Let’s Be Beastly To The Germans

But why shouldn’t I be beastly? You killed my grandma, you teutonic bastards!

Ah, but when I say ‘you’ who do I actually mean? The generation that blitzed Britain, invaded most of Europe and exterminated nearly all of European Jewry is almost gone bar a few aged relicts gumming their Iron Crosses in very clean senior facilities, and the Germans of today bear no responsibility for past horrors.

Rational people realise this. Nevertheless, negative feelings towards Germany and stereotypes about Germans persist, both in the US and in Britain:

Not that there isn’t a kernel of truth in some of the stereotyping; this video is one of a series from German broadcaster Deutsche Welle‘s YouTube channel called The Truth About Germany and explains the concept of speißigheit:

spießig
smug {adj}
suburban {adj}
bourgeois {adj}
philistine {adj}
narrow-minded {adj}
petty bourgeois {adj}
white-bread {adj} [coll.]
square {adj} [coll.: boringly traditional]

The whole series is well worth watching.

As if being labelled petty bourgeois, obsessive and dull weren’t enough, one of the most persistent stereotypes of Germans is that they have no sense of humour.

Oh ja? Is dat zo? German comedian Henning Vehn has made it his mission to turn that particular stereotype inside out and give it a good shake:

Here he is trying to entice visitors with his guide to (West) Germany;

…and boggling at the British tabloids’ obsession with the Nazis and WWII:

Yes, our papers are a bit obsessed, aren’t they ? You’d think the German armed forces were some kind of mechanical death whirlwind rather than fallible human beings:

Less mechanical death whirlwind, more Windy Miller.

So what have we learned from this brief foray into German culture and humour? Bugger-all really, other than the Germans are just like us really, and stereotypes (whilst sometimes having at their core a teensy-weensy little seed of truth) are just mental constructs that serve to distance us from our common humanity. It’s much easier to kill a humourless kraut than it is to kill a fellow human being who’s quite nice really. Let’s not be beastly to the Germans – we’re going to need them soon anyway, when the economy goes to shit.

Gordo To Go

The price for Clegg’s cooperation; the voluntary dethronement of Gordon Brown.

Dethroned

Gordon Brown says he is to step down and that a new leadership election is to be called by the Labour party.

5.06pm: Here are the main points.

• Gordon Brown is going to resign. He wants to stand down as Labour leader before the next Labour conference in the autumn. But he intends to remain as prime minister until then (if he can).

• Nick Clegg has formally opened talks with Labour. Brown said that Clegg rang him recently (presumably after the Lib Dem meeting) to say he would like to have formal talks with a Labour team.

• Brown is proposing a “progressive” government, comprising Labour, the Lib Dems, and presumably the SNP, Plaid Cymru, the SDLP and the Alliance. Electoral reform would be a priority.

5.04pm: Brown says he will “facilitate” the discussions with the Lib Dems.

5.03pm: Brown says he has “no desire” to stay in his position longer than is needed. He would be willing to stay in office until the a new government is formed. But the election was a judgment on him. He is going to ask Labour to organise a leadership election, so that a new leader can be in place by the time of the conference. He will play no part in that contest.

5.02pm: He says he has had conversations with people like the head of the IMF about the eurozone crisis.

So we’ll have yet another unelected PM. Cheers then, Cleggy.

It had better not be a Milliband. (My money’s on Alan Johnson, but you knew that.)

Mind you the whole thing makes Cameron look like the over-confident, entitled tosser he is, and that can’t be a bad thing.

Pop A Cap On Tick

Not on tick exactly, but close. I’m gobsmacked to learn that you can rent guns for $10. DIY death at discounted prices – only in a certain country…

A commenter on YouTube called this guy ‘the Colonel Sanders of murder’. Exactly.

UPDATE: Compare and contrast:

Yea kids!

(Do they mean wigs or weed, btw?) Cognitively dissonant much, America?