Comment Of The Day

Is this comment by Zeno to a post at Pharyngula: without it I never would’ve come across this hilarious monstrosity of a comic:

Liberality for All: Can G .Gordon Liddy, Oliver North and Sean Hannity Save America From An Orwellian Nightmare of Ultra-Leftist Oppression?”

Synopsis:

[…]

In 2004, Muslim terrorists stopped viewing the weakened American government as a threat; instead they set their sights on their true enemies, vocal American conservatives. On one dark day, in 2006, many conservative voices were forever silenced by terrorist assassins. Those which survived joined forces and formed a powerful covert conservative organization called “The Freedom of Information League”, aka F.O.I.L.

Now see, if only they’d used a little imagination they could’ve called it The Incorporated National Freedom of Information League. It could’ve been the much snappier and superhero-ish T.I.N.F.O.I.L. Oh, well. Their loss.

The F.O.I.L. Organization is forced underground by the “Coulter Laws” of 2007; these hate speech legislations have made right-wing talk shows, and conservative-slanted media, illegal. Our weakened government has willingly handed the reins of our once great country to the corrupt United Nations. The Department of Political-Correctness is required to assist U.N. monitors to properly edit all print and broadcast media. Live broadcasts are a thing of the past; all transmissions are monitored by the U.N. and any ‘offensive’ material is dumped.

Rupert Murdoch’s decision to defy the “Coulter Laws” hate speech legislations, has bankrupted News Corporation. George Soros has bought all of News Corps assets and changed its name to Liberty International Broadcasting. LIB’s networks have flourished and circle the globe with a series of satellites beaming liberal & U.N. propaganda worldwide.

Sigh. If only.

The New York City faction of F.O.I.L. is lead by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North, each uniquely endowed with special abilities devised by a bio mechanical engineer affectionately nicknamed “Oscar”.

I can’t imagine what special powers these three could have. Actually I lie. I can – Hannity: supersonic farting, North: the ability to shred documents with his mind, and Liddy, what else but a star-spangled super-crotch?

F.O.I.L. is soon to be joined by a young man named Reagan McGee.

Our hero’s called Reagan? What a coinkydink!

Reagan was born on September 11th, 2001. He is the son of a NYC firefighter whose life was spared by attending his son’s birth. Reagan has grown to manhood in an ultra-liberal educational system: being told, not asked, what to think. With personal determination, which alienates him from his contemporaries, he has chosen the path less traveled…the path to the Right.

Born on 9/11. Oh, the symbolism, it just gets you here, doesn’t it?

F.O.I.L. has become aware of Bin Laden’s plot to destroy NYC and has devised a plan to stop him while simultaneously gaining permanent control of LIB’s satellite network. Unfortunately, U.N. Forces have discovered the secret location of the F.O.I.L. Lair. It is a race against the clock to save NYC from a nuclear holocaust and the world from liberal domination. Only with F.O.I.L.’s help, can “Liberality For All” once again become “Liberty For All!”

Now I know that this is a mini series, so I’m looking forward to the edition in which we meet the lurve interest. Will she be a thinly disguised Monica Goodling, or Debbie Schlussel, or will our hero, being as he is, brought up ‘liberal’, have a doomed passion for an ersatz Althouse? And will she look like this?

UPDATE: Martin posted about this last year. I really should read my own blog now and then.

On Second Thoughts…

Maybe it would’ve been better for Jerry Falwell not to have died just yet, just as the fascistic theocracy he tried to create starts falling apart (but let’s not get too optimistic, there’s nearly 2 years to go yet). It would’ve been wholly satisfying to have seen him get his just deserts in life, publicly disgraced and shamed for the misery he caused by his ‘religion’ and his lust for power. But no, he escaped.

Damn. That’s the trouble with atheism. There’s no afterlife to wish torment on someone in.

It almost tempts me to become Christian for an hour just for the purpose. There’s a lot of hellfire and torment you can pray for in an hour, as Falwell himself proved.

UPDATE: Huh. There’s a surprise. Fellow-fundies are rushing to disassociate themselves from Falwell already.

Wonder what goodies he had on them all when he was alive?

The Pendulum Swings Back…

“Quick, redraw the map again, Bob, looks like Kansas may’ve finally come to its senses… ”

From CNN, via Raw Story:

TOPEKA, Kansas (AP) — The Kansas Board of Education on Tuesday repealed sex education policies enacted last year, the latest move by the moderate majority to undo efforts by conservatives when they dominated the board.

One rescinded policy recommended that schools stress abstinence until marriage, while the other urged school districts to get parental permission before students could attend human sexuality classes.

On a 6-3 vote, the board replaced the policies with one that recommends “abstinence plus” sex education programs and leaves it up to the state’s 296 school districts to decide whether to get parental permission.

The “abstinence plus” program stresses abstinence before marriage, while also urging schools to give students information about birth control and prevention of sexually transmitted diseases.

It’s not the first time the Kansas authorities have had to rescind loony legislation put forward by wingnuts:

In February, the board repealed science standards backed by social conservatives and switched to ones that treat evolution as well-supported by research. The standards, which take effect next school year, are used to develop tests to measure how well students learn science.

The old standards, endorsed by supporters of “intelligent design,” questioned the theory of evolution.

A bit of common sense at last, and about bloody time too.

The Big Swingin’ Dick’s Been Busy Swingin’

dept. of dubious rumors
Oh Hey, Cheney’s Maybe On the DC Madam’s List

Thanks to the 700 people who sent in the latest “anything’s possible” rumor from angry local blogger Wayne Madsen. Here’s the new Contract With America: We will post it, and you will quit e-mailing it to us. Okay? Okay.

The “former CEO” supposedly on the DC Madam’s phone list is “former” Halliburton CEO Dick Cheney. He paid money to some poor girl and stuck his thing in her deal. ABC News all but dropped the story when Cheney threatened to jam that prop phone up three feet up the ass of Brian Ross. That’s why the formerly explosive scandal story instead got seven minutes at the end of whatever ABC News show Friday night.

There, are you people happy now? Didn’t think so. Do you know why we’re underwhelmed by this rumor? Because even if it’s a fact, which it probably is, there’s no way it would have any impact on Cheney’s “career.” This is a draft-dodging half-human war criminal with a pregnant lesbian daughter who tells senators to fuck themselves and shoots his own friends in the face. Ordering an outcall hooker is positively innocent compared to the well-known things Cheney does every day.

Cheney Rumor You Have To Scroll Down For Because Wayne Madsen Still Doesn’t Know What a Permalink Is

Given that the escort agency’s speciality was ‘fantasy sex play’ I bet a shooting in the face was involved there somewhere. Or maybe a game of of ‘you be the insurgent, I’ll be the marine captain’ or maybe he just wanted to be told a bedtime story about Jimmyjeff, the commander in chief and the tin of bald-head polish.

I could go on with this for hours…