Wingnuts – Page 48

Found: Wingnuts’ Missing Brain Cells

Published on January 23, 2007

So IOKIYAR is a medical condition now.

Damn. I know I’ve always said wingnuts were lacking something upstairs, but looks like Rachel Moraon and the other idiots just like her could have a physical excuse for theirr dreadful behaviour.

From the BBC:

‘Altruistic’ brain region found

The brain area was more active among the altruistic group

Scientists say they have found the part of the brain that predicts whether a person will be selfish or an altruist.

Altruism – the tendency to help others without obvious benefit to oneself – appears to be linked to an area called the posterior superior temporal sulcus.

Using brain scans, the US investigators found this region related to a person’s real-life unselfish behaviour.

The Duke University Medical Center study on 45 volunteers is published in Nature Neuroscience.

Selfless tendencies

The participants were asked to disclose how often they engaged in different helping behaviours, such as doing charity work, and were also asked to play a computer game designed to measure altruism.

The study authors say their work could have important implications.

They are now exploring ways to study the development of this brain region in early life and believe such information may help determine how altruistic tendencies are established.

Researcher Dr Scott Huettel explained: “Although understanding the function of this brain region may not necessarily identify what drives people like Mother Theresa, it may give clues to the origins of important social behaviours like altruism.”

[…]

Argh, why do bigots and shit-for-brainers always get a cop-out no matter how bad the things they do are?

Next thing you know IOKIYAR will be listed as medical condition, they’ll be claiming disability and soon they’ll raising money from Scaife and his cronies for lobby groups and thinktanks to agitate for in favour the altruism-impaired.

Bur wait! They already have one. My duh.

How To Get On In Society

Published on January 18, 2007

lodsamoney, dosh dosh dosh

Despite his attempts at gentility Dinesh D’Souza just can’t help flashing his wad
.
When a clever and ambitious wingnut makes a lot of money, he invariably begins to ape his oligarchical masters. Naturally he believes he was born to be one of them. After all, isn’t it his destiny to be a Ruler of the Universe?

But the devil is in the details and it’s the teensy little slips, like tacky carpets, pleather and full-on genocidal wingnuttery, that let the Dinesh D’Souza’s of this world down. No matter how hard they try to be classy they give themselves away as imitating sycophants.

D’Souza is author of such jeux d’esprit as:

…a parody of African American students at Dartmouth entitled “This Sho Ain’t No Jive Bro”; an interview with a Ku Klux Klan member featuring a graphic of a hanged black man;…

and his latest book is the charmingly-titled “The Enemy At Home: The Cultural Left and Its Responsibility for 9/11”. He makes a shedload of money from mad, rich rightwingers by pandering – at a price – to their darkest, paranoid, eliminationist fantasies.

But all his money can’t buy him any taste, as Tbogg notes:

D’More D’Souza

Just to point out what makes seemingly intelligent people say incredibly stupid things, it should be noted that wingnut welfare pays really well.D’Souza lives here in San Diego in Fairbanks Ranch, one of our more exclusive gated communities:

Since Dartmouth, the conservative fray has been quite remunerative for D’Souza. Six years ago, he and his wife bought their home in Fairbanks Ranch. The nearly 8000-square-foot house has six bedrooms, seven and a half baths, and a four-car garage, where they keep their maroon 1992 Jaguar XJS. A circular drive fronts the French country stone house. The cathedral-like front room, with its full-length mirrors and tapestries, has an 18th-century French decor of (veneered) golden maple burl furniture. The slick floors echo like a museum as one walks through. In his office, there’s wall-to-wall leopard-print carpet; floor-to-ceiling bookcases are stocked with titles in history, politics, and philosophy. The view out back features a bright blue pool and the arboretum-like landscape.

Today, at his desk, D’Souza is comfortably dressed in preppy garb. Plain shirt (with the polo player insignia), plain pants, tasseled loafers. At one point, his wife Dixie breezes in. She is blonde, petite, California-tanned, and effervescent about her husband. She’s wearing a stylish pink plastic-leather rain jacket.

[…]

More

Added: For those not from my neck of the woods – Fairbanks Ranch

Eww. The words leopardskin, pink and plastic-leather should never appear in the same galaxy let alone the same article. And on a Republican too. Ick. I’ll presume the word stylish was ironic, as clothes worn by Republicans are obviously transmuted into unstylish tat merely by the act of a wingnut wearing them. Go on, name me one truly chic Repubkcan… can’t, can you?

I love the deftly slipped in (veneered) tooi, n relation to the furniture; you can almost see the delicately-curled sneer. Quite Betjemanian.

Poet and cultural critic John Betjeman would’ve loved mocking D’Souza’s social pretensions (he felt a social fraud all his life too) and he knew just where to slip the knife in. Just as in the above quoted-profile I bet D’Souza wouldn’t even have felt it. He”d’ve had the poem framed.

Here’s Betjeman on petty-bourgeois aspiration:

M’ M’ M’ My Sharia

Published on January 17, 2007

Don’t play away in flyover country: you might find yourself in more trouble than just facing an angry partner.

Adultery could mean life, Michigan court finds

By Brian Dickerson

Detroit Free Press

(MCT)

DETROIT – In a ruling sure to make philandering spouses squirm, Michigan’s second-highest court says that anyone involved in an extramarital fling can be prosecuted for first-degree criminal sexual conduct, a felony punishable by up to life in prison.

“We cannot help but question whether the Legislature actually intended the result we reach here today,” Judge William Murphy wrote in November for a unanimous Court of Appeals panel, “but we are curtailed by the language of the statute from reaching any other conclusion.”

“Technically,” he added, “any time a person engages in sexual penetration in an adulterous relationship, he or she is guilty of CSC I,” the most serious sexual assault charge in Michigan’s criminal code.

No one expects prosecutors to declare open season on cheating spouses. The ruling is especially awkward for Attorney General Mike Cox, whose office triggered it by successfully appealing a lower court’s decision to drop CSC charges against a Charlevoix defendant. In November 2005, Cox confessed to an adulterous relationship.

Murphy’s opinion received little notice when it was handed down. But it has since elicited reactions ranging from disbelief to mischievous giggling in Michigan’s gossipy legal community.

The ruling grows out of a case in which a Charlevoix man accused of trading Oxycontin pills for the sexual favors of a cocktail waitress was charged under an obscure provision of Michigan’s criminal law. The provision decrees that a person is guilty of first-degree criminal sexual conduct whenever “sexual penetration occurs under circumstances involving the commission of any other felony.”

No more blowjobs in moving cars then.

It’s not even safe to open an Exploder window now either without facing jailtime, so to make assurance doubly sure, you might also want to run ad-aware or similar before using a computer in front of a minor. It’s that or face a potential 40 years in jail.

Via Majikthise:

Teacher faces 40 years for exposing kids to porn, blames adware

A 40-year-old substitute teacher is facing up to 40 years in prison for exposing children to internet pornography.

Julie Amero was convicted on Friday of four counts of risk of injury to a minor.

According to BoingBoing, the teacher blames an an adware infestation. Somehow, the PC may have become infected with pornographic adware, causing inappropriate content to blossom uncontrollably onto her screen.

The police maintained the Amero navigated to pornographic websites during classroom time, but expert witnesses for the defense testified that she could have spawned these windows by navigating to an innocent hairdressing site.

[…]

It’s still OK to stream live-action porn into hotel bedrooms though, so, no worries, eh?

Did we time travel back to 2002 or what?

Published on January 17, 2007

Atrios calls out that stupid fucker Kevin “I thought Kenneth Pollack was smart” Drum on Drum’s amnesia about the war debate and asks:

..adding, as I meant to say in the original post, there are also numerous obvious bad consequences to killing a bunch of people for no good reason. So, yes, there were numerous reasons to oppose this war and no good reasons to support it. Why are we still arguing about this?

Because the idiots and criminals who conspired to get the War on Iraq going, have not had to pay for their crimes yet. Worse they’ ve been rewarded for it. As long as that is the case, as long as having been wrong about the War on Iraq carries no cost, people will be able to argue that having been a supporter of the war was the right thing to do.

In this case, Kevin Drum is just self aware enough and still possesses a rudimentary sense of shame, so he’s unable to argue with a straight face that he made the right choice at the time, but what he can do is rubbish his then opponents.

For this to stop, people need to start losing their cushy thinktank jobs and pundit gigs. People like Peter Beinart or Kenneth Pollack should at the very least be laughed of television when they open their big fat mouths.

Read more about:
Kevin Drum, War on Iraq, chickenhawks

Tory Boy, US Edition

Published on January 13, 2007

Note to the Virgin Ben – oh, just go get laid already.

It doesn’t have to cost much, and no actual icky human contact need be involved if you do it right. Or just say hello to Mrs Palm and her five lovely daughters while looking at pictures of Lucianne Goldberg.

Or something.

Whatever, it’s clear that all that unexpressed sperm (or curdled pre-fetal-American soup, depending on how you look at it) is going straight to your brain.

Virgin Ben is Ben Shapiro the 20 year old Harvard law student and precocious wingnut author (which reminds me, wouldn’t the latter preclude the former? Dishonesty isn’t a quality one actually looks for in a lawyer, no matter how prevalent it might be in the profession), proving with very little effort required that years of home-schooling and enforced celibacy addle the brain.

Let’s face it, that theory is just about as valid as his. Shapiro says that Nancy Pelosi uses her womb for political advantage. How, exactly? Does she pop it out and wave it like flag when it’s time to vote? Does she sign motions in menstrual bood? What? Young Ben doesn’t seem able to say exactly.

Via Punkass marc:

It must be difficult to be a famous woman. If you don’t have children, you’re an old maid with shriveled ovaries who has forsaken your godly purpose. If you have children and don’t talk about them, you’re a cold parent who puts her career ahead of her offspring. If you’re like Nancy Pelosi, i.e. you have children and talk about them openly, you’re holding your previously occupied uterus above the heads of jealous menfolk as a sign of your superiority.

Yes, with the ascendance of Speaker Pelosi, uterine envy is at an all-time high. Take a recent editorial by Family Security Matters‘ Ben Shapiro, a Harvard Law School student who’s clearly worked overtime to overcome the many inherent disadvantages associated with having a dick.

[…]

While we’ll soon see how his obsession with Nancy Pelosi’s body is concentrated primarily in the pelvis, Shapiro gives us a head’s up that he’s thinking an awful lot about her breasts, too:

Nancy Pelosi, however, could breastfeed on the speaker’s podium and receive the plaudits of the mainstream media.

Yikes. Either Shapiro’s repressed maternal fetish has him uttering the creepiest of creepy phrases in print, or he’s incapable of imagining a woman performing anything but childcare duties (and whatever he may or may not have observed in his forays into internet porn).

The creepiness continues:

No woman in the history of politics has used her womb like Nancy Pelosi.

Sadly, far too many men have used their jackassery like Ben Shapiro.

[…]

To which I might add, no-one has used the genetic accident of having a penis to such pointless effect as Ben Shapiro.

Read more: US politics, Women, Feminism, Wingnuts, Shapiro, Pelosi