UK – Prog Gold

My Prescience- Fu Remains As Strong As Ever

Published on May 7, 2010

I’m listening to Any Questions on Radio 4 (click for podcast) atm and someone’s just asked the panel who they think the next Labour leader will be. Several panel members suggested Alan Johnson….

Remember, you heard it here first.

Do Keep Up, Pundits

Me, April 2008:

I predict, right here and now, that Alan Johnson will be the next leader of the Labour party. Iâ€™m even willing to put a fiver on it, as I did on John Major, and I was right about him too…

….who would this likely new leader be? Harriet Harman? Dawn Primarolo? Cooper herself ? Those cooing martinets of incompetence offend women and men alike. Straw? Iraq – enough said. Hillary Benn? Not unless technocracy gets sexy all of a sudden. One of the Millibands? Surely they canâ€™t’ve finished their work experience alreadyâ€¦.

You see what I mean. Whoâ€™s left that hasnâ€™t pissed everyone off, but Alan Johnson?

Jackie Ashley, recently-turned former Brownite, in The Guardian this morning:

… If the party gets the kind of historic shredding the polls suggest then all bets are off.

…Stopping that kind of meltdown is focusing many minds and explains why Alan Johnson has become such a fashionable figure. He is genuine, genial, moderate and working class. He has spoken loyally without sounding greasy â€“ and without closing the door on his own emergence as a unity candidate leader. Yesterday, defending Hazel Blears, he emphasised her roots as a working-class woman. “Blokes and blokettes, keeping calm and carrying on” would be the message.

What did I tell you? Sometimes even I’m shocked at my own prescience. Anyone willing to stake a fiver against Johnson now?

Linky Linky Shminky Pinky Heth – eth – eth – eth – eth – eth – eth – eth – eth! Chris Waddle

Published on May 6, 2010

Bono Estente!

It’s finally election day, I appear to have a semi-reliable (so far) WiFi connection, I’ve rewritten and reposted the post WordPress ate last night and the hospital telly is allegedly fixed, so fingers crossed for the rest of the day – let’s hope the UK electorate is giving the politicoliterati the collective kick up the arse they so richly deserve. But we won’t know that till the results start rolling in when the polls close at 10pm Greenwich time, so until then here’s some interesting stuff to look at.

Ukip’s loudmouth-in-chief Nigel Farage and his pilot are injured while trailing a a campaign banner from a light aircraft

CNN: Sex slave girls face cruel justice in Iraq:
“

When Fatin found out her father was attempting to sell her, she immediately sought help from the law.

“I ran away from Najaf and escaped to Baghdad where I found my mother and asked her if she knew what my father was planning,” says 22-year-old inmate Fatin, “So she took me to court in Baghdad, we got a lawyer and brought a case against my father.”

Months passed and the lawsuit was never heard. While awaiting justice, Fatin says her father raped her. After the attack, she killed him, was tried, and is currently serving the fifth year of a 15 year sentence.

From astronomy blog Starts With A Bang : A Mysterious Light on the Darkest Night “….say hello to the gegenschein…” and some gorgeous time-lapse video of the Milky Way too.

Mr Benn becomes deputy leader of the Labour Party

I am the Isabella Blow of whiny transplant patients. Much obliged to Unfogged (yet again) for turning me on to The Rosa Parks of Blogs

Everybody is the Rosa Parks of somethingâ€”or at least the Michael Phelps, Cap’n Crunch, Dick Cheney, Elmer Fudd, or Paris Hilton of whatever. This blog collects examples of the adaptable idiom “X is the Y of Z”, which is a snowclone. Feel free to use these descriptions when discussing your beautiful children, longtime companions, sworn enemies, favorite foods, and elected congressvermin. And if you need even more absurd comparisons, then you’re in luck.

Boneless, slithery and sometimes slimy but always fascinating, Circus of the Spineless No. 50 is up at Arthropoda.

Carry on, Master Bates….From the BBC News election campaign liveblog

Ever wondered if it’s OK to dress as a pirate when you head to the polling station to exercise your democratic right? For a list of the things you can’t do in a polling station, have a have a read of this

Apparently it’s OK to vote with bare manboobs, but not bare actual boobs

“Pyjamas are fine, provided they’re not indecent. And so is a builder who’s stripped to the waist. We want people to vote, we don’t want to turn people away,” he says. But a line does have to be drawn somewhere, he says. “A topless woman wouldn’t be appropriate as voters might get distracted.”

I’d’ve thought the returning officers would be more concerned about naked vote-stealing than naked norks. Sexist bastards.

And for my final flourish – from the Fast Show, it’s Channel 9 neus:

Falia helÃ©, Falia hela, Falia helÃ©, and don’t forget to vote.

I Hate Myself For Finding This Hilarious

Published on June 19, 20091 Comment

It was an unfortunate mistake. I shouldn’t laugh. No really, I shouldn’t. From the Evening Standard:

WHSmith sorry for Josef Fritzl Father’s Day promotion
Amar Singh

19.06.09

High street chain WH Smith apologised today after promoting a book on cellar rapist Josef Fritzl as a Father’s Day gift.

Shoppers at the Lewisham branch were shocked to see a non-fiction book on the Austrian, who kept his daughter captive for 24 years, in a â€œTop 50 Books for Dadâ€ display.

Full story

Comment of The Day: Redacted Holiday Fun

Published on June 19, 2009

From The Guardian comments pages –

UpsideDownCakeEater
19 Jun 09, 1:02am (about 6 hours ago)

Seen the claim from the PM and the Speaker when both attended â–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆ in â–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆ paying Â£ â–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆ.â–ˆâ–ˆ just to watch two â–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆ. Both claimed Â£ â–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆ.â–ˆâ–ˆ as though they actively took part ?
Shocking.

What’s â–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆ ? We might well ask.

If it weren’t for the Daily Telegraph’s uncensored leaks, for all we’d know of it â–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆâ–ˆ could have been anything, from a Harrods rocking horse to a box of man-size Pampers to an Agent Provocateur gimp mask.

At least if you’re on holiday and it rains this week there’s no need to be bored; you can always play redaction bingo and insert your own words. All those blacked out spaces leave lots of scope for the imagination and reading censored expenses claims is much more entertaining that way. Holiday fun for all the family!

How Many Bad Apples Can One Barrel Hold?

Published on June 14, 2009

Unlimited amounts, apparently:

More than 300 elite Scotland Yard detectives are suspected of defrauding the taxpayer of millions of pounds by abusing their corporate credit cards, the Observer can disclose.

Auditors who have examined the American Express accounts of 3,500 officers involved in countering terrorism and organised crime have reported almost one in 11 detectives to the Metropolitan Police’s internal investigators.

A senior officer appears to have spent Â£40,000 on his Amex card in one year, without authorisation. Items bought by others without permission include suits, women’s clothing and fishing rods.

[…]

Sources have told the Observer that some detectives had fallen into the habit of withdrawing hundreds of pounds at a time from cashpoints. Other officers appear to have filled in blank receipts from restaurants to account for cash payments.

And that’s only tip of the iceberg. The slightly less blatantly corrupt emerge unscathed :

Only detectives suspected of overcharging by more than Â£1,000 have been referred to the DPS. Its investigators are believed to be examining hundreds of files.

What’s really shocking is that this news isn’t today’s main headline or even a subsidiary one. It barely even made the front page.