A modest proposal: nationalise the bankers

what every well dressed banker would wear under my proposal

Though it would undoubtly be cartartic to enact the solution proposed by the Financial Times to the current economic crisis, to shoot the bankers, nationalise the banks, we should not let our emotions get the better of us. We need practical solutions, not rash action.

The economic crisis cannot be solved with a single act; it’s a crisis of capitalism and only radical change can solve this crisis. But we can make a start at solving two of the most pressing short term problems facing us: the need to punish the people responsible for the crisis and the need of our governments for large amounts of money to combat the crisis with.

The solution is simple: nationalise the bankers. Every banker and retired banker above a certain level of responsibility to be determined will be divested of their capital and possessions, then put on public work schemes for at least ten years or to the mandatory retirement age, whichever is greater. A portion of the funds raised with this action should be put aside to pay the bankers affected a miminum wage and provide them with a council flat, the rest should be earmarked for combatting the recession.

Naturally the bankers participating in these public works schemes will be wearing the same sort of dayglo orange now reserved for petty criminals and other scallywags.