If there’s been one comfort during this awful week it has been the support and sympathy I’ve gotten not just from my family, but from everybody who has taken the time to write in. I also want to thank Tom Spurgeon and File 770 for putting up condoleance notices, something I hadn’t expected at all. It means a lot to us, this kindness both from old friends and those who have only known us through the internet. It is especially nice to see so many old afpers comment, since Sandra and I had dropped out in the last couple of years, as first financial and then her health problems kept us away. Glad to see she hasn’t been forgotten. Earlier this year when it did still seem that she might be cured enough to start leading a normal life again, we did talk about going over for the con next year, which I may still do.
Terry Pratchett fandom was how we met; his documentary on the right to die helped crystallise her conviction to take control of her own death, to die on her own terms rather than wait for another calamity to kill her. Once she decided that her situation wasn’t going to improve, she chose the best death she could get and got it.
Tomorrow is the funeral, when she will be cremated so that sometime next year her sons and I can scatter her ashes at one of her favourite spots in Devon. Neither she nor I believe in life after death: for her everything was over last Monday; for me life without her is just beginning. It’s going to be hard, but for her sake as well as mine I have to try.
Robert
November 9, 2011 at 6:25 pmI know it’s trite, but life goes on and time does heal.
For what it’s worth, you are still in my thoughts.
Menno
November 10, 2011 at 3:57 am*We* met through Pratchett fandom. Many of the people on my LJ friends list are there because I know them from alt.fan.pratchett and its derivatives. The Azeroth Buccaneers in WoW consist largely of extended afpers. The DRUM channel on Earthen Ring is, basically, us. I was on #afp recently, to stick your announcement in the topic, and found it was already there, and though I’m not often on IRC these days, people recognise me. I’m not sure you’d call it a tightly-knit group, but we don’t forget friends. Especially not friends with Monster XL Supersoakers.
All the best for the funeral tomorrow, and the offer for futon-space stands if ever you need to crash in the UK.