Onwards into 2012

So yesterday I got back from my parents where I’d been for the holidays; a bit of a bother dragging the kittens there and back again on the train, but managed succesfully with a little help from my mum. The kittens behaved quite well on the whole, but Sophie did gave me an heart attack a few days ago when she slipped out of the window in my second storey bedroom into the gutters. That wasn’t too bad, but then she tried to clatter up the rooftiles and I could just grab her before she plummeted back…

Apart from that little incident the holidays were quite relaxing, with endless games of Colonists of Catan and some light reading, but coming back to my empty flat did bring home the reality of life without Sandra again. I lived with her for the better part of a decade and the last three years especially were lived for her; getting ready for the kidney transplant first, then trying to get her out of hospital and back home and finally her dying and funeral.

I’m not sure what to do now. Suddenly there’s this big hole in my life where Sandra used to be and I’m not sure yet what can fill that hole, if anything can. The last two months I’ve gone through on autopilot, but now I’ve had time to think and reflect on what to do with the rest of my life and just don’t know what to do with myself…