Not quite the weekend we had hoped for

It’s been a bit of a bastard weekend. On Friday I was going off to the far flung and sun kissed exotic wilderness that man call Drenthe, for a weekend in a holiday house there with my parents and younger sister. Originally my parents would be going to a wedding of a cousin there and didn’t want to hurry back hme, but sadly the wedding had to be called off as the father of the bride had passed way. But since the house had already been booked and paid for, we decided to go anyway. My sister had also brought her baby with her, as her partner was going on a stag do for my foster brother, who will be getting married next month (in the best Dutch tradition of having lived together with his partner for donkey ages and having two children already).

Unfortunately things went wrongly quickly on Friday, as my sister’s baby, my niece, got a fever, which didn’t go away but got much worse, so much that my sister took her to the nearest g.p. surgery for consultation. Who took one look at her and called her an ambulance to get her to hospital. With her fever reaching 41 degrees celcius the worry was that she might have menigitus, rather than “just” some bacterial infection having turned nasty. Luckily, this seemed to have not been the case, but my niece still had to stay in hospital for observation until this morning. Her dad had already driven over on Friday night and he and my sister stayed in the hospital around the clock; not quite the relaxing holiday/stag party weekend they had looked forward to…

It’s scary enough having to bring any loved one to hospital, but when it’s a less than a year old baby, doubly so. Fortunately everything worked out in the end, but was stressfull and frightening nonetheless…

Fandom should get its act together

To cut a long story short: at Readercon Genevieve Valentine got (sexually) harassed by what turned out to be a high powered sf fan (don’t laugh). Readercon having a zero tolerance policy for that behaviour was supposed to ban him permanently, but decided to make it only a two year ban for reasons. Once Genevieve went public with the verdict and her disappointment about it, the inevitable internet outrage firestorm happened and it got changed to the lifetime ban it should’ve been in the first. In the process the problems fandom has with sexual harassement were highlighted once again, with various cons examinating their own processes for dealing with this sort of toxic behaviour. A good development all round, right? Perhaps, but it did take its toll on Genevieve, still dealing with fallout like this two months later:

You will find out that, seven weeks after a “sincerely regretful” admission of his behavior at Readercon, your harasser was put in a position of power at a con, overseeing volunteers. He cornered a woman to talk about how hard this has been on him; he spoke inappropriately to a woman while bartending a party, to the point that a stranger intervened.

You will see some people are wary of these reports, because they think that, having been named, the harasser’s behavior was under scrutiny. (That this should be an advantage of identifying harassers, or that any harasser could avoid censure by not harassing women, is, as of press time, not under discussion there.)

The fact that a known harasser can just stroll into another high profile voluntering position is depressing enough, but more so is the idea that so many people are wary of believing further accusations against him, for fear of, what, some sort of crusade against him, of women getting their kicks by inventing abuse and see him as an easy target? The first can be explained if nto excused by ignorance, the second seems more like a wilful denial, where it’s more important to absolutely exclude the possibility of a false positive than it is to believe the women coming forward with their own stories of harassement. I’m all for giving people the benefit of the doubt, but not when they proven already they can’t be trusted and have done nothing to remedy that.

The more I learn (secondhand) about how sexism, but also racism or transphobia and homophobia, operates, the more it becomes self evident how important it is to believe the victims when they report harassement, or it continues. Fandom as a whole still needs to learn that, though it is slowly getting better (I hope).

slightly less of a sale if you’re not American

fifty dollars shipping for a 3 dollar book at Top Shelf...

To be fair to Top Shelf, their postage remains the same no matter how many books you add, but it does make their annual sale somewhat less attractive than it is for Americans. Which is a shame, as Top Shelf is one of the best comics publishers currently operating. The temptation now is for me to go for everything in the sale that looks even remotely interesting, just to drive the shipping costs per item down…

Oh fandom, please stop disappointing me.

When I first discovered it fandom seemed so exotic, yet welcoming. That was old skool fandom, written sf only, which as far as I was concerned was the only fandom. These were my people and I felt safe there. But as has become clear, should have been clear for years if not decades if I had paid attention, that safety is relative. A white bloke like me? Little problems fitting in, but as racefail has shown, as various groping incidents have shown, it may be different for women or people of colour. Fandom is slowly, haltingly grasping for improvements, getting to grips with the idea that yes, it does have to care about racism, sexism, homo and transphobia and so on.

There is a lot of resistance to this idea however, best symbolised in the following quote from the somewhat shit stirring Overheard from the Smof Mailing List Tumblr, taking anonymous quotes from a convention runners mailing list:

“What really disturbs me even more is a rather marked generational divide, again, particularly around the sexual harassment. The most horrific abuse I’ve seen, and experienced, has come from thirty-somethings, roughly. Their eagerness to see and punish harassment worries and befuddles me. I wonder if we’re beginning to see the bitter fruit of helicopter parents and/or the notion that safe spaces are possible. (This latter is a hot button topic for me. No space can be made safe. Safer perhaps, but … I just want to say that I have never felt unsafe at an sf con and am completely boggled by the whole notion.)”

Sometimes it does look like an entire generation of older, entitled, largely white middeclass male fans have to die off before we can get any real progress going, but then I remember Frederik Pohl.