I never really like this time of year. Everybody gets introspective and moody, brooding about their failure to do everything they set out to do the past year, or worse, gets smug about everything they did accomplish. It invites melancholy and that’s one of my weaknesses. I hate endings, hate saying goodbye. Nevertheless I would like to say some things about 2014, if only to end the blogging year properly.
It hasn’t been a bad year for me personally, state of the world be damned. Last year I spent a large chunk of the year underemployed, without assignment but still paid, which wouldn’t have been so bad if it hadn’t been for the perrenial anxiety that brings with it. Personally I’d love not having to go to work ever again but if I must I’d rather not worry about my employability. This year was better: I ended 2013 on assignment to one Big Dutch Bank only to have the project end in December and switched another Big Dutch Bank in January, which was a fun job but for the commute: Amsterdam to Utrecht to Zeist, by public transport. Fortunately or otherwise that assignment ended to in May, so I got to go to Yet Another Big Dutch Bank, the only one I hadn’t work for yet and am still there. This time it’s in Amsterdam and I literally look out on the offices of the bank I ended 2013 with…
My personal life is still in stasis so to speak. It’s now been over three years since Sandra died, yet I still miss her daily. I miss the companionship of being in a relation, of having somebody other than cats to come home to and share your life with. My family is wonderful, if annoying at times, but that’s not the same. Being home at Christmas underscored that, nice though it was.
But I’m not looking for a new relationship either. I don’t want somebody new; I want Sandra and since that’s impossible I’d rather live on my own. I just can’t fathom going through that whole process of learning to live with somebody all over again.
Not to ened on a downer, what was good this year was getting back further into fandom again. The Worldcon was great and for next year I’ve lined up a couple of cons to go to. Hopefully get a bit more sociable this year.
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