Five Habits of Highly Annoying Online Liberals

Dedicated to the memory of Will Stancil.

1. Obviously the president cannot do X, he doesn’t have the political capital/votes/the Supreme Court. Your average online liberal is very big on making excuses for why it’s just not possible for the Democrats to do anything, but very sure that more, harder voting next time will solve the problem. That this strategy hasn’t worked the last six presidential elections won’t stop them from making more excuses next time.
2. But the parliamentarian says we cannot do this. The online liberal is very strict on rules when those rules prevent Democrats from achieving anything. Rules need to be obeyed, no matter how nonsensical and attempts to get around them are just wrong. That the president breaks not just rules, but the law on a daily basis by say supporting the genocide in Gaza somehow always escapes their attention. Rules are sacred and it would be wrong to break or ignore them, regardless the outcome. Sportsmanship is everything.
3. But if we abolish the filibuster, we cannot use it ourselves when Trump gets into power again.. The online liberal is not so keen on trying to fix the whole broken political system, but rather worries endlessly about what the GOP might do if we change anything. The filibuster being the most well known example, but there’s also e.g. the blue slip procedure. If a senator objects to a proposed judicial candidate in their state, they can send a blue slip to the responsible committee and as a courtesy that candidate will be removed. Something the Republicans paid no attention to whatsoever when they lead these committees, but the Democrats keep adhering to.
4. But the Supreme Court will strike it down anyway so this is pointless. The online liberal loves to capitulate before the fight. In that they resemble their leaders, who are also not keen to start anything that might require more effort than sending out fund raising emails. The filibuster is a good example of this, as this is always brought up as an example of why we can’t have nice things. But did you know that the modern filibuster consists of nothing more than some junior staffer sending an email that their boss would filibuster if a bill is brought to a vote? No effort required at all. Considering the laziness of your average senator, that Democrats do not call this bluff is inexcusable, but understandable considering the laziness of your average senator.
5. Vote Blue no Matter Who. Or, it doesn’t matter that Biden supports genocide, Trump is worse so it’s imperative that you vote for him regardless of what he does. Don’t put pressure on Democrats to change, you don’t want the Republicans to get in, do you? Also seen in the UK, where the usual bunch of centrist muppets had spent the last half decade describing most Labour voters as antisemitic scum who should disappear, but still expect their votes. The online liberal expects the voters to adjust to their politicians, not the other way around. The online liberal therefore will always scold the voter for expecting their elected leaders to listen to their concerns.