The definition of chutzpah: looking like this man and calling somebody else a hollow-eyed onanist. Bonus: Nick Cohen being tired and emotional at the Orwell Prize award ceremony last year — an oldie but goodie.
funny
Twente rules, Ajax drools!
YES!
I may be a Feijenoord fan, but if there was any other team this season I didn’t mind winning the competition it was FC Twente. They were knocking on the door already last season and played such disciplined, attractive football without ever becoming arrogant. I also liked Steve McLaren from the start, even when he still thought speaking English with what he thought was a Dutch accent would help his players understand him better. And then there were players like Blaise Nkufo, a Black Swiss striker (and how many of those are there playing football on this level..) who became the club’s top scorer early in the season. Not to mention Bryan Ruiz, a Costa Rican international who became this season’s most dependable striker for FC Twente.
And what better way to win the championship than by denying Ajax the title? Ajax is the Manchester United of Holland, undeniably a great team, but arrogant and hated in the rest of the country (this makes Feijenoord into Liverpool, hardworking but a bit thick sometimes and PSV Chelsea, accused of buying their championships; carrying on the analogy would make AZ into Arsenal or Spurs, perrenial fourth but capable of greater things). Ajax had a great season, but a baddish start and an even better season for FC Twente meant that today on the last playing day they were still one point behind Twente. Because both games started at the same time, they were even virtual champion when they scored before Twente did in their game, but in the end, despite a 4-1 victory they left emptyhanded…
You have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at that, at the discomfort of players like Demy de Zeeuw, once a likeable player but now best known for trying to dop in his direct opponents to the referee, or Louis Suarez, top scorer in this year’s league, but prone to fall to the ground if somebody blows in his direction, not to mention Martin Jol, chav trainer in his eternal shell suit. Just the fact that they accused my club, Feijenoord for deliberately not winning from FC Twente two weeks ago in order to block Ajax in their championship bid is enough for me to crack open another beer to celebrate Twente’s win.
Congratulations Twente! And commiserations to Ajax — I feel your pain and I like it!
Looking at my picture, you know you can trust me
Bearded men are just more trustworthy, unless we’re in our underwear:
A recent study in the Journal of Marketing Communications found that men with beards were deemed more credible than those who were clean-shaven. The study showed participants pictures of men endorsing certain products. In some photos, the men were clean-shaven. In others, the same men had beards. Participants thought the men with beards had greater expertise and were significantly more trustworthy when they were endorsing products like cell phones and toothpaste.
But, oddly, men with beards were slightly less effective than smooth-cheeked fellows in underwear advertisements. Apparently we don’t want Zach Galifianakis selling us boxers.
I started growing my beard at eighteen because I was tired of shaving each morning. Now you know you can trust anything I say…
Everybody hates Ajax
Today was the penultimate round of matches in the Dutch football competition. FC Twente, with English trainer Steven McCLaren has never played as well as this season, having been in pole position for most of the season, but Ajax has also been playing very well and has only one point less. Both needed to win their respective games this weekend to be able to become champion, but Twente had the worst job, having to play Feyenoord, one of the traditional Big Three of Dutch football. And while their supporters hate Ajax and wouldn’t mind Feyenoord losing, the trainer and players thought otherwise, assuring the press that they would play normally, going for a win…
But when push came to shove, Twente had a very easy game, scoring twice with little trouble, Feyenoord not playing aggressive, sparing themselves for the big cup final next week. The result was a cheering, happy stadium, both Twente and Feyenoord fans happy to see Twente keeping on track for the championship — anything better than having Ajax win.
