If there was a retard cup, FC Groningen would’ve won it

Quick question: if you are a football club and one of your main rivals comes over for a game, not long after they bought three of your best players, would you think it was a good idea to hand out thousands of bogrolls? No, I don’t think so either, but FC Groningen thought this was a marvelous idea to allow it, as “a fun way to say goodbye to those players going to Ajax”. Even the fire brigade allegedly gave permission for this stunt. So of course the obvious happened. Some nutters thought it would enhance the party mood if they set fire to those bogrolls, more and more people started throwing lit rolls and before you know it, there was a fire and panic. Worse, the firehoses available in the stadium turned out not to have pressure on them, the fire retardant chairs didn’t turn out to be so fire retarding and finally some or all emergency exits were locked.

That winning combination of club incompetence and hooligan violence has led to incredible disasters in the past. Remember Heizel stadium? Fortunately here, despite the fire and the panic, the worst that happened was a complicated ankle fracture for one unlucky fan. No thanks to FC Groningen though. Stupidity all around.

Fuck Planet Earth

Re-imagining Worthy BBC Attenborough nature documentary series Planet Earth, making it slightly more juvenile, also more funny, to cheer up your Monday. (Found via Sore Eyes.)

Lazy Sunday Comedy III: the difference between UK and US comedy

This time, let’s look at two sketches with the same joke. The first is from the Not the Nine O’Clock News show:

The second from Saturday Night Live:

Two shows, one British, one American, with the same joke. Both aren’t that funny, but they do show a remarkable difference in approach. A difference in national comedy styles? Discuss.