Sandra’s books

The last couple of months, both before and after Sandra’s death, I’ve been busy putting her book collection into Librarything, both because I was doing that anyway for my own books and as a memorial to her tastes in reading. As you can see from the relative sizes of our collections (and not everything has been catalogued yet) she was always much more picky in which books she bought, much more discriminating. She didn’t buy books she could get from the library, nor was hesitant to recycle books once she read them if she didn’t feel it worthwhile to keep them. Whereas I’ve always had a tendency to hoard, Sandra always argued that if she felt the need to reread some cheap thriller or detective novel, it would be easy enough to buy it again and besides we’re running out of shelf space already.

What she kept therefore were books she knew she would want to reread, that she knew she would not be able to get easily and were important enough in their own right as well as to her personally. While she didn’t mind recycling modern detective novels e.g., she did collect classic Golden Age writers like Ngaio Marsh, Agatha Christie, Patricia Wentworth, Gladys Mitchell and especially Margery Allignham. These were books that she reread often enough and had enough sentimental worth to her to keep. She also had a thing for classic literature and argued that any library should have at least some Dickens or Thackeray in them.

When we merged our libraries there was remarkable little overlap: she read science fiction and fantasy, which with comics collections make up the majority of my books, but felt no need to collect them, whereas I had only a few detective books. She was also much more interested in pure quill horror than I was, with Peter Straub and Stephen King amongst the modern writers being particular favourites, but where her preferences mostly lay with the Victorian/Edwardian and pre-war writers (Benson, M. R. James, Lovecraft, Le Fanu, that lot). She also collected classic humour writers, again with the emphasis on those eras (Benson again, the Mitford sisters, Waughg, classic New Yorker writers like Thurber or Edmund Wilson). She liked social history, if it was abour regular people, especially women and their lives and not too dry and again, especially if it was about 19th century or prewar Britain. There are the science and natural history books, geology especially (Fortey) and oceanology (sucker for squid), the country and travel classics (bit of Bryson, Eric Newby), the cook and gardening books (she was keen and gifted in both departments and thank god my father is the same in the latter or i would’ve no hope of keeping up the garden), also quite a few of those glossy historical thrillers that have been all the rage the past decade, a few other miscellaneous bits and bobs. It’s a collection that’s grown organically, that you can’t really fit into a specific pattern, but which does clearly shows the mind of its curator and her intentions. In many ways it’s a much more interesting collection of books than my own.

Sandra was never shy about sharing her books with me, always recommending new ones for me and through her I discovered a lot of authors: Thackeray, Trollope, Ngaoi Marsh, Richard Fortey, Dawkings, Jessica Mitford, though quite a few I resisted (Dickens for example, perhaps her favourite author). I’ve been thinking of doing a year of Dickens — one each month — in her honour but was worried it would be too limiting and doing some more entry work this afternoon gave me the idea to instead just take any book each month from her collection, starting with Kraken by Wendy Williams this month.

I’m an uncle again!

I already got two nieces and one nephew, but tonight at 6:30 was born my third niece, Danique, as my youngest and only sister gave birth. From what I heard over the phone she got a nice set of pipes already and was quite lusty, with a nice dark mop of hair as I was told. All went well with the birth, though my sister is still under observation in hospital as a precaution. I’m quite pleased both her and her partner as it has been somewhat of a struggle for them to get this far. Mum and dad are quite proud, but both sets of grandparents are if possible even more so.

(As matter of sheer coincidence, she’s born exactly two months after Sandra’s death — circle of life indeed.)

Onwards into 2012



So yesterday I got back from my parents where I’d been for the holidays; a bit of a bother dragging the kittens there and back again on the train, but managed succesfully with a little help from my mum. The kittens behaved quite well on the whole, but Sophie did gave me an heart attack a few days ago when she slipped out of the window in my second storey bedroom into the gutters. That wasn’t too bad, but then she tried to clatter up the rooftiles and I could just grab her before she plummeted back…

Apart from that little incident the holidays were quite relaxing, with endless games of Colonists of Catan and some light reading, but coming back to my empty flat did bring home the reality of life without Sandra again. I lived with her for the better part of a decade and the last three years especially were lived for her; getting ready for the kidney transplant first, then trying to get her out of hospital and back home and finally her dying and funeral.

I’m not sure what to do now. Suddenly there’s this big hole in my life where Sandra used to be and I’m not sure yet what can fill that hole, if anything can. The last two months I’ve gone through on autopilot, but now I’ve had time to think and reflect on what to do with the rest of my life and just don’t know what to do with myself…

Books read December

And so I’ve come to an end of another year of reading books, a year in which I attempted to pay more attention to female writers since it turned out how skewed my ratio of male to female writers read was. I managed to finish the reading list of twelve science fiction/fantasy books written by women I had set up at the end of 2010, though I do still have to review the last novel on that list, which I’ll do this week. It was interesting to have such a self imposed reading project and I’m thinking to put together a similar list for this year, focusing on Charles Dickens, both because Sandra always pushed his writing on me and because it’s the 200th anniversary of his birth this year.

Statistics: I’ve read 101 books this year, same as last year and like then, the bulk of my reading was again done in the last half of the year. Still nowhere near my peak, in 2008 (152) and 2009 (122) though. Most of my reading in fiction was science fiction (39), followed by fantasy (14), detectives (10) and a couple of thrillers (4) for a total of 67. Non-fiction was utterly dominated by history (25 out of 34 books) with 5 military history books, 2 on politics and one each of economics and travel.

Genderwise women dominated the fiction categories, but I also read a lot of non-fiction by women, mainly history. In total it was 43 female versus 57 male, with the Maj Sjowall & Per Wahloo due counting for the females.

December was despite all the distractions quite a good month reading wise: fourteen books in total:

Hellenistic and Roman Sparta — A history of the Sparta that few people know, long after its glory days had ended. Dry, academic but interesting.

Dragonflight — Anne McCaffrey
I reread this because Anne McCaffrey died recently and was glad I did. I’d forgotten how good this was and how influential.

Toast: And Other Rusted Futures — Charlie Stross
An early collection of Charlie Stross short stories, available for free as an e-book. Some of his better stories (“A Colder War” frex) are included, but there are also a lot of not so good early attempts. More for the diehard fans than a casual reader.

Dragonquest — Anne McCaffrey
The second book in the Dragons of Pern series, already getting more sfnal than fantasy.

Procession of the Dead — D. B. Shan
An urban fantasy by an unknown to me writer; alright, but not anything special.

The Crusades 1071 – 1291 — Jean Richard
A good introduction to a complex subject, as Richard attempts to both narrate the history of the crusades themselves as of the crusader states that were the result of them.

Ivan’s War — Catherine Merridale
A look at the experiences of the ordinary Russian soldier in World War II, with a prominent place for the voices of the veterans themselves. Recommended.

The King’s Peace — Jo Walton
A reworking of Arthurian legend in a fantasy Britain loosely based on what happened in Britain when the Romans left. Excellent.

The British Soldier of the First World War — Peter Doyle
Another Shire book on the experiences of British soldiers in WWI. Due to its length, less than 100 pages this is of course just a sketch, but a good introduction.

A Christmas Carol — Charles Dickens
I read this on the way to my parents to celebrate Christmas there and what better time to do so?

Medieval Warfare — Helen Nicholson
A short overview of the theory and practise of medieval warfare, from 300 to 1500 CE.

Singled Out — Virginia Nicholson
With the First World War killing off the flower of English manhood on the fields of Flanders, it left behind some two million women who would never get the chance to marry and fulfill their traditional duties of wive and mother. Virginian Nicholson shows what they did instead and how important this turned out to be for the further emancipation of British women.

Planet of the Damned — Harry Harrison
An early Harrison novel, read on the Kindle. Fun, but nothing special and some unconscious sexism.

Air Power and Maneuver Warfare — Martin van Creveld & others
The last book of 2011 was a strategic overview of how airpower fits in with maneuver warfare, as illustrated with German, Soviet and Israeli examples, in the context of a post-Cold War US army looking for new strategic choices.

So farewell then, 2011

So here we are at the very last day of a year that turned out to be quite a disaster, if only for me personally. This time last year Sandra was still in hospital but looking forward to going home early in the new year and indeed would be, celebrating Easter at home. She was weak, but finally on the road to recovery, or so I thought. That of course turned out not be the case. She had to go back into hospital a number of times and the last time she had to, she had had enough and decided to stop it all. Her struggle ended on the 7th of November and I’m only slowly coming to grip with it. The simple fact of her death colours everything I do.

Next year will be the first year without her since we met and fell in love back in 2000. With a bit of luck I’ll be able to live another sixy years or so before I die, but they will still be without her and sometimes I worry that i’ll forget her.

And I don’t want to forget her.

UPDATE: it’s 2012 now in Holland. Happy New Year and let’s hope it is a good year for everybody.