This isn’t the eighties — you aren’t Gary Groth

Noah Berlatsky annoys the fuck out of me with with his review of that DC Flashpoint map. Most annoying paragraph:

Part of the map is dedicated to the kind of fanboy-tease insider “surprises” that always suggests someone’s mother’s basement and dim, sad, lurching figures dressed only in sweatpants and stale cheetos. Oooh…Project S! In Metropolis! What oh what could that mean! And a time anomaly in Central City huh? Chuckle, wooo! What won’t they think of next! And Green Arrow has a whole island from which he can resist the Man! Fight the fight, Ollie! I bet you got just the one arm, same as you did in Dark Knight!

In the virtual highschool that’s the blogosphere, a comics reviewer talking about “mother’s basement”, “sweatpants” and “stale cheetos” is like a math nerd attempting to beat up the chess club. It’s also tedious, dull, predictable and safe. Nobody ever thinks of themselves as fanboy.