How Rita Verdonk Lost Holland The World Cup
“Why he can’t be of ‘German blood’ too”
From Expatica NL
Flash forward to Berlin, 9.29pm, Sunday 9 July 2006…
Minister-Queen ‘Iron Rita’ Verdonk bites her lower lip as she looks down anxiously from the dignitaries box at the scene below.
She is nervous – but she is courageous and resolute. Rita repeatedly bangs her little clenched fist on the head of the person sitting in front of her to emphasise her spirited nature.
[…]
It had been so simple.
First, force through a law to deport allochtonen (foreigners) for committing any crime whatsoever. Then enact the “Adherence to Dutchness” with wide-ranging and ingenious edits making it illegal to be born to a family that cannot trace its Dutch roots back to the Ice Age, failure to eat drop (black liquorice) or wear clogs.
As hectic action continues on the pitch below, Verdonk takes a moment to give herself a mental pat on the head. “Goed gedaan, Rita. Goed gedaan,” she congratulates herself.
It is a pity, Rita ponders sadly, her staff in the immigration service keep forgetting some of the 9,467 valid grounds for rejecting residence permits.
Their failings might cause the department to miss its target to expel 160 percent of all the nasty foreigners in the Netherlands by the end of next month.
“Some day Rita, everyone will appreciate you. Some day,” Queen Rita assures herself.
A massive cheer goes up from the Dutch stands as Holland surges forward with the ball leaving their German opponents flat-footed.
Incredibly the goal mouth is left wide open. (The two German goalkeepers ‘Slicky Schroeder’ and ‘Safe-hands Merkel’ have come to blows on the sideline over who should get the job today.)
Mentally, Rita prepares her victory speech.
Suddenly a German shirt comes from nowhere. He intercepts the ball…turns…dashes down the field…and…GOAL!!!
Germany wins. Again.
As she struggles to comprehend what is happening, Rita feels the weight of thousands of pairs of Dutch (and immigrant) eyes turning in her direction – accusing.
Then the situation gets worse. The announcer confirms the scorer is Salomon Kalou, born in Ivory Coast and now a proud German citizen having left Feyenoord Rotterdam recently.
Oops, thinks Rita. Wasn’t he the guy Johan Cruijff begged me to give a Dutch passport to so he could play for us in this game?” …
