Dutch football to Wilders: F-off

amateur football

Sometimes rightwing populism backfires, as Geert Wilders’ party the PVV found out last week. A PVV member of the Den Haag city council proposed an “allochtonenstop” in amateur football, in response to the supposed “flood of problems” football clubs with too many non-western immigrant members were having. According to Richard de Mos (also a PVV member of parliament), such people don’t volunteer for their clubs, are disrespectful and responsible for daily violence on the football pitch. To combat this behaviour clubs should stop accepting new non-western immigrants as members.

Deliberately controversial, this sort of proposal is what helped make the PVV into the third biggest party in the Netherlands. You just make up a lot of stupid but tough sounding shit about Muslims or “non-western immigrants” that reinforce already existing stereotypes in your base, let the experts explain why you’re wrong but emerge as the party of common sense, in touch with the public mood, unlike the elitist eggheads who refuse to see deportation of all muslims to Texel is the right answer to Holland’s crime problems.

This time, it failed spectacularly. Because this time the PVV talked nonsense on a subject their voters actually knew something about. Too many people voluntarily spent their weekend running around wet and cold football pitches to believe this nonsense about foreigners running amateur football. this time therefore the backlash came not just from the experts, but from the very same people the PVV normally has on their side. Richard de Vos forgot that if you want to bullshit people, best not attempt that on subjects they actually know something about…

In short: the PVV got roundly thrashed on this proposal, with everybody from the Dutch football union on down ridiculing it.

Sint!




movie poster for Dutch horror movie Sint

Above is the trailer for the new Dick Maas horror movie, Sint, in which Sinterklaas (the original Santa Claus) goes bad and starts killing children instead of giving them presents. Not an entirely original idea and I’m sure there are some Santa Claus horror movies too, but Dick Maas has a good track record for horror movies, with De Lift and Amsterdamned, the latter of which scared me stiff when I first saw it as a fourteen year old. His new movie has been the subject of a mild controversy, as some of the posters used to advertise it are thought to be a little bit too scary by the usual numbnuts. An official complaint to the advertisement standards agency was made, but failed. And so it should.

The posters aren’t that scary, we do not need to “childproof” our cities and the people making these complaints are the sort of creepoids who’d want nothing better than to move Holland back to the fifties with brussel sprouts for dinner every evening. If you don’t like the movie, don’t watch it.

Meanwhile the real horrorshow happened in Eindhoven, as evil, hated outside of Brabant PSV defeated my poor old Feijenoord 10-0. It’s isn’t fair. And yes, I am a Feijenoord supporter living in Amsterdam — guess how much fun I’m going to have at work tomorrow…



The Fug? No kissey cheeks for Dutch lawyers

So two years ago a lawyer greets a client and friend of his with the usual awkward three kisses on the cheeks. An assistant D.A. is offended, gods know why and complains to the tribunal. Wheels of justice grinding incredibly slow, this important case only reached the tribunals on the 25th of august. The verdict: cheek kissing is a no-no. The guy in question did not act according to the standards of the profession and he should’ve kept his distance even if he was friends with this client.

I’m not sure who has the biggest stick up their arses: the tribunal for reaching this verdict or the numptie who complained in the first place. What the hell is wrong with you you start a complaint because somebody kisses a friend on the cheeks?

What you get when not freaking out about teen sex

Comparison of number of gonerrhea cases in Holland and America

33 times fewer gonorrhea cases in the Netherlands amongst teenagers than in the United States for a start. But also drastically lower rates for HIV infection, Syphilis, teen pregnancy, abortion, undsoweiter. It’s almost as if treating teenagers having sex as a normal part of growing up and sexuality something you can teach your children about to treat with care and respect you can actually avoid or drastically lessen the dangers of sexualy ignorance… Honestly, even the danger of getting killed by a serial killer when losing your virginity is less in Holland. The Dutch approach isn’t perfect of course, there have been setbacks in recent years, but on the whole it scores so much better than trying to scare teenagers away from sex.

But even if the Dutch system was perfect, it still has one big flaw that would always keep it from being adopted in the US: it’s not punitive enough. Too many people do not want their — and others’ — children to be safe so much as punished. It’s the old idea that good people don’t have sex until they’re married and if they can’t wait, they deserve what they get. Let’s not even mention homosexuality or other “deviant” behaviour…

What’s strange is why America has gotten so fucked up about, well, fucking, when European countries like the Netherlands have long since outgrown such feelings. Holland used to be a strict calvinist, moralistic country as well after all, but we changed while the US slid back. Even our religious nutters are so much less strident than we’ve seen from across the Atlantic. It’s a mystery.

12-1!

How often do you see a football game with goals in the double figures, let alone one in which one side scored twelve of the thirteen goals, let alone in which one player scored eight times? Yet that’s what happened in the Dutch second league game between Sparta and Almere City FC, helped a lot by the latter having had to play with ten men for most of the game after a dumb challenge on Sparta’s striker in the penalty box, but also by their utter incompetence at defending. Every goal they conceded fit the same pattern: attack over the right flank, a pass to the striker who’s completely uncovered and a goal. Sparta’s striker, Johan Voskamp, did well to score eight of these twelve goals but it wasn’t as if Almere’s defenders made it that difficult for him…



Now last year Sparta was still playing in the Netherland’s highest league but got relegated at literally the last moment in the playoffs, while Almere City was still known as Omniworld and not doing well then either, staying in the league by the skin of their teeth. The quality difference between the two is not that surprising, especially when you compare their history: Sparta’s one of the oldest clubs in the country, Rotterdam’s Everton to Feijenoord’s Liverpool, while Almere City has only been playing professional football since 2005 and was largely created because a “big city” like Almere needs a proper football team. Almere being one of those sleeper towns full of people having been driven out of Amsterdam but still working there, whose interests are largely still orientated towards Amsterdam as well. Almere has no real identity of its own but has been desperate to grow one, of which having a professional football club was one part. Judging by the result today the city should’ve saved its money…